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| Blogs > steamyandsexybi > Orgasmic Distractions |
Sex ~OR ~ Intimacy?
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Sex ~OR ~ Intimacy? This syndrome is what I call the morning-after syndrome. We wake up and find that intimacy is not really there. The sexual relationship does not satisfy us anymore, and what we end up with is not what we really wanted in the first place. All you have is two self-centered people seeking self-satisfaction. The elements of genuine love and intimacy cannot be obtained "instantly," and you find yourself in an unbalanced state, searching for harmony. Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. In our search for intimacy we want the solution today, or yesterday. One of our problems is that we want "instant" gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an "instant" solution. Where do we look? Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual? It's the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour -- it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet. What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalize it by saying, "We are in love. No, I mean really in love." But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied. On campuses all across America I see men and women searching for intimacy, going from one relationship to another hoping, "This time will be it. This time I am going to find a relationship that will last." I believe that what we really want is not sex. What we really want is intimacy.  |
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9/26/2006 7:42 pm |
I think we want a balance of both...hot steamy sex that has a relationship attached to it.
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9/26/2006 7:59 pm |
 Here here !!!! I believe you have hit the nail on the head !
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9/26/2006 10:50 pm |
Eureka..... You have hit the nail on the head explaining ME. I have never gone for the instant gratification as i get nothing from it when i have tried it in the past. Its clear ive been looking or hoping to find someone who can fulfill all of my needs the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. I dont feel quite so abnormal now.
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I think we want a balance of both...hot steamy sex that has a relationship attached to it. BINGO! (well, ok...I'll take a bit more of the hot and 'steamy' sex to go with the relationship) lol
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Here here !!!! I believe you have hit the nail on the head !Thanks! and thank you for the visit!
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Eureka..... You have hit the nail on the head explaining ME. I have never gone for the instant gratification as i get nothing from it when i have tried it in the past. Its clear ive been looking or hoping to find someone who can fulfill all of my needs the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. I dont feel quite so abnormal now. Eureka? (isnt that a vacuum?) -just kidding! How many times do I have to tell you????? You are NOT abnormal!! You're just as human as the rest of us....none of us are better/worse than the next! ~Hugs~
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9/27/2006 8:31 am |
Steamy, Yep. I have a friend, who shall remain nameless that is like this. She goes from one to another, and everytime..."he is the ONE." This is exactly why marriage is never easy, because you have to move through all five areas with exacting precision. Great Post. BTW - the last is 7. lol Andy
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9/27/2006 7:15 pm |
I love this post. I myself have been thinking about this also. Why do I meet these guys and think I am anything more than just sex to them. I am weak or maybe im not because I let it go as far as I can and then I am strong enough to say its enough I cant do this with so and so anymore. Why cant I just be like a man and have sex with who I please and not feel any attahcment.
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Steamy, Yep. I have a friend, who shall remain nameless that is like this. She goes from one to another, and everytime..."he is the ONE." This is exactly why marriage is never easy, because you have to move through all five areas with exacting precision. Great Post. BTW - the last is 7. lol Andy Thank you!...Hmmmm.....why do I get the feeling that the 'friend' youre referring to is......ummm...very close with you? That probably is one explanation why I havent been married yet. I refuse to just "settle" for anyone/anything if I plan on spending the rest of my life with him...
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I love this post. I myself have been thinking about this also. Why do I meet these guys and think I am anything more than just sex to them. I am weak or maybe im not because I let it go as far as I can and then I am strong enough to say its enough I cant do this with so and so anymore. Why cant I just be like a man and have sex with who I please and not feel any attahcment. Welcome to my blog,sweets! Oh, trust me....its not that you, me or anyone else CANT! We can! We've been down that road so many times, it gets old doesnt it? Ya gotta remember: Men have 2 heads...we dont. But that doesnt mean they mostly think with the right one! (the one on their shoulders) lol Ya gotta have a stronger mindset and be sure to be set in YOUR ways and not worry about wondering if the guy youre with is "pleased" with you in the end. If he cant accept you for the way you are and who you are, forget him! Really! Stop and ask yourself: Is he even worth the effort? Hugs~
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troisbe, Oh Geeez! I think I've been way too good of a girl lately if what you say is true! (I'm in trouble! lol) God! Its been months....lol
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