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Blogs > rm_DevilCharmZ > RidiculouslyIdioticMind |
Disturbing
Disturbing Rain. 2.30am. Finished laundry. Waiting to wash off my mask. Gaming or sleeping next? Downloading movies.... Disturbing. I remember a movie I watched while I was very young. It was a horror movie. I can't recall exactly the contents of the movie, but for years I had been always so afraid of it.. One scene in particular haunts me..... Today I'm an adult. I managed to find that movie and watched it again... To face my own fears and see what was really so disturbing about it.... It was a scar movie. By today's standard and by those days... I was quite 'impressed' as I've not seen anything quite as 'good' (scary) for a long time.... The thought is disturbing. Parents brought their own very young into cinema to watch as horrors because they wanted to watch it themselves.... I remember my aunt telling me that my god grandma would often walk over and carry me away in the early wee hours when I was left outside to play on my own... While my parents were still in the house, in the bed, having hot sex.... I used to dismiss that thought. It was really quite disturbing... But today it's hard not to accept it as part of truth. Along with the others... Of how I can recall I was unfairly ill-treated by my parents... As a bi-product of their quarrels.. Of how they really didn't want me but I just 'popped' out while they were enjoying themselves.... Of how unimportant I really am to them.... I truly and deeply understood.. My parents don't really love me, they just love sex. And it explains the way I have been treated all along... Disturbing. |
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