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| Blogs > MajorEasy > It's the Major !! |
Never marry for love...
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Never marry for love... My two cents worth to some younger friends on the topic...  . . . . . .Read on . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .NOW A PART OF THE . . . The Lecture Circuit SERIES...        . . .  . . . . MajorEasy's Blog... There is no use getting, into heavy petting it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting...... |
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A group of us had dinner and someone spoke about arranged marriages...most of the women present decried it...saying they will only marry for love... What a load of....  I couldn't help myself, so I expressed my views...told them the pitfall of love...marriage is a long term commitment...it should be taken very seriously...so seriously it should be taken, that one should never...I say again...NEVER allow something as frivolous as 'love' be the deciding factor.... Love is sweet...it's intense...it's all-consuming....and it's all the above because...it is fleeting.... We can love one thing today and hate it tomorrow...we can like a person today and feel disgusted by the person tomorrow...it's also true in reverse...we can dislike something and love it tomorrow... This is not only true with things...it is true with relationships... The truly fortunate...those who find a 'soul mate'(another rubbish concept dreamt up by romance novelists...  )...are as few as those who have one best friend throughout their lives....I'm not saying it is impossible...I'm saying it's too unlikely to work towards...  We make vows at the alter...that deep down, we know is impossible to keep...look...I asked everyone present....how many have been able to keep even one new year's resolution for longer than a year?? Not one...  And if we cannot keep a promise to ourselves...why are we lying to someone we profess to love?? The vows are only good for making accusations later...no one sane expects them to be honoured completely... They asked; which made me glad...because that meant their minds were opened enough to weigh what I had said...what then should we use as a guage for marriage??  Fantastic question...  My answer...tolerance and acceptance...that's how we know... When we meet someone who tolerates us in our worst, and accepts us for who we are...and in return, we can tolerate his / her worst and not freak out...we have the basis of a long term relationship...mind...just the basis Now, this is not the same as tolerating because we 'love' someone...look...even the mannerism that attracted us in the first place may turn to become annoying...so no...it's not the love phase of tolerance...what I'm talking about, I said...is the genuine indifference to the worst... She snores, doesn't bother him...good start...he picks his nose in public, she thinks it's normal...everyone says she has bad breath, he doesn't smell it...people warn her that he has B.O., she thinks it's manly...she spends every cent she earns, he thinks that's being practical...he risks his life on silly things, she feels he's living to the fullest...these are how you know... Now people, I told them...that is true soul mates...you tolerate because you don't have to...thing others find irritating, you don't even notice...you don't accept because you love...you accept because you really don't mind...in fact, you might agree and encourage... That is the basis of marriage...this is the winning formula... To someone who says they don't mind, but frowns even slightly...love can shield the annoyance for only so long...it's best to find someone who goes "You farted?? cool, I didn't notice..." Similarly...you know how people always say...you want to ruin a friendship, get them into business together??...like marriage, people focus on each other's best points and resources to form a business partnership...but when money comes in, or is short...the blame game starts...who's working harder than whom...etc... If only people would focus on their own short-comings...then find a partner who can fill-in those gaps, while they fill-in their partner's short-comings...then, they are in a good partnership... Not that different in a relationship...  Finding the best looking or the highest earner or the most popular...recipe for trouble...find a person who genuinely does not mind most of your flaws, and you will be a winner in the long run...of course, has to work the other way around too to keep it balanced... Find someone, whose worst is acceptable to you...who in trun accepts your worst...only then can you give each other your best... If we don't find this person...then it's better off not getting married...get a dog, or two...at least you can walk away for a while without them asking for justification... Like I said...just my 2 cents...heck...I'm living by it...so if you find this indifferent and not at all irritating...I might be worth contacting...if you agree with my views...hey...I might be the one...   . . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...There is no use getting, into heavy petting it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting......
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Yep but without the love some of those habits can be a pain in the arse over time I'm a   and i'm here to stay
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One thought that popped into my head was are u confusing "love" with "lust"? THen again im sick today.... (who needs alcohol when u can get food poisoning and get presribed a whole rainbow of drugs!)
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I agree, but because I cannot get married. How about relationship? Can we have relationship without love? If you think yes, what is the point of a relationship when no love?
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I agree, but because I cannot get married. How about relationship? Can we have relationship without love? If you think yes, what is the point of a relationship when no love? A thinking girl...I like... Okie sweetie...a relationship is a partnership...two people take care of each other and help each other get through life together...love is not required.... Nevertheless...once the partnership goes through some good times and rough times...and survives...love will slowly grow... Sadly...most people do it the other way around...by using love to decide who is best suited to be our partner...and then wonder why relationships keep failing... Just because you love someone does not mean they love you back in equal measures...so love is a very poor barometer of whether a relationship will last... Hope this helps... . . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog...There is no use getting, into heavy petting it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting......
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .NOW A PART OF THE . . . The Lecture Circuit SERIES... . . . . . . . MajorEasy's Blog... There is no use getting, into heavy petting it only leads to trouble, and seat wetting......
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