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I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out  

rm_joe30pack 44M
8 posts
10/3/2009 3:36 pm
I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out


I'll say it. I like to fuck. I do it a lot. And sometimes it gets me into unfortunate situations. Like right now. Right now I am royally fucking fucked.

See, I went to this big dinner party the other night, trying to stay out of trouble, but lo and be-fucking-hold, who's there but one of the fuckfiends from our sales team, wearing fuck-me pumps and this little green skirt. So I fucked her. Twice. First time quick, second time slow. And then I fucked her friend Michelle (a great fuck), and Michelle's boyfriend, Alec, and his ex-girlfriend Rina, who's a fucking Persian sex goddess. Same bed, same night.

Fucking incredible fucking.

Then it hits me: Fuck. Rina is my boss's , that fucking fuck Alec fucked my sister last year, and my damn wife told me last week that if I don't stop fucking other chicks she's going to "walk out that [fucking] door and never come back." And it takes a fuckload of nerve for my wife to say that.

But look, I'm not some two-bit fuck who fucks up and then expects some other fucknut to clean up his fucking mess. A man's got to take some responsibility or he'll never amount to shit. I fucked my way into this, and by God, I'll fuck my way out.

I'm so far the fuck up shit's creek, I can't see straight, but that's my own fucking problem. If I'm between a rock and a hard fuck, I'm going to choose the hard fuck every time. No regrets. I saw an out-of-this-fucking-world gorgeous piece of ass-meat, and I pounced like a fucking cougar. Any fuckhead who thinks I should have fucking walked away is a fucking fucktard and I'll say it to his fucking face, the fuckface.

But fuck if I know what to do next. If my mom were still alive, I'd cry on her fucking shoulder. Man, I really stuck my fucking cock in it this time.

I know a lot of fuckwads who wouldn't do fuck-all about this predicament, just fuck off for a while and wait for the whole thing to blow over. But you see, that's just not this motherfucker's style. What the fuck ever happened to accountability? I can be a real fuck, sure, but I fucking finish what I start, and not just when I'm fucking.

In the end, I only see one way out of this: more fucking. Much more. An all-out, nuts-in-the-guts fuckfest. Yes, one false-fucking-move and you're ass-first in a fucking genuine clusterfuck real fucking quick–but do I look like a green-eared sportfucker to you, fuckrod?

Item Number Fuck on my agenda? Swoop home like a fuck-falcon and fuck my old lady like I love her. Keep fucking the skirt girl, plus hot-fuck Rina to keep that screamer quiet. Then line up a pity-fuck-and-suck with that fat-fuck deli chick, roll on out for a balls-out fuckfest with the redhead twins (ménage-à-fucking-trois, for you French fucks), and a three-day, four-night fuck-stravagaza down to Mexi-fucking-co next weekend to see the fuckable Miss Esmerelda.

At the end of the day, I don't really give a fuck. These women can fuck me around, but they know not to take it too fucking far. You know why? Because you don't fuck with a fucker, that's why. And if you fuck with a fucker like me, you'll end up being the fuck that gets fucked. Simple as that.

Fuck.

Freedom4FunNow 55F
963 posts
10/3/2009 6:15 pm

I haven't decided if to laugh my ass off or be horrified. Maybe I'll do both.

Freedom
Live. Laugh. Love.


rm_joe30pack 44M
7 posts
10/9/2009 1:00 pm

Because one of those fucks gave me the fucking clap, and my fucking wife is going in to see her fucking cooch doctor, and I'm royally fucked when she finds out.


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