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Back with AFF  

SensitivePerv 60M
86 posts
1/27/2009 1:55 pm

Last Read:
2/2/2009 9:39 pm

Back with AFF


After my failed experiment at Amateur Match, I decided to re-up over here to Local Sexy Swingers. I actually got the cancellation of my Amateur Match account while I was writing this blog. I’ve been active here on Local Sexy Swingers again since just after Christmas. I dusted off my profile and changed what I was looking for from exhibitionism/voyeurism, erotic email exchange to discreet sex, one-on-one sex, threesomes or more with women or couples.

I have come to learn that I’m not alone, haha! As a silver member and a middle-aged married man, trolling with “average equipment”, and an “average build”, and looking for no-strings attached sex here at Local Sexy Swingers, I'm pretty lucky to get one email a week. I guess that means I’m nothing very special, huh? Oh well. At least I haven’t had too many people be rude to me when they do respond, but then again I always try to be very respectful in my messages, too. I am impressed when I get messages that are well-written.

I even pay so that standard members can contact me. Does anyone know whether standard members can contact you first under this option, or does the paying member always have to initiate it? Regardless of whether I’m contacting a standard member or not, I’ve received just a couple of emails or friendship requests from people whom I did not contact first. One was from a bisexual man. Another was from a couple with a bisexual male. I learned a long time ago that bisexuality was not for me. I tried homosexual sex with a good friend in college, but I actually told him to stop while he was giving me a blow job, because I wasn’t turned on at all.

So I’d characterize myself as bi-friendly, but not bi-curious. I honestly don’t know whether I have any male friends who are bisexual or homosexual. It’s just not something that ever comes up! But I’m not freaked out by a man’s genitals being near my own. I did get a little jealous of some of the packages a few of those fellas at Thad’s swingers club were sporting! A few of them made me question whether my characterization of my equipment as “thick” was accurate! Haha.

I would like to try a DP sometime ‒ I think that would be fun, and if I was comfortable with the man, I doubt the close proximity of our private parts would bother me at all. Since I’ve never had anal sex, I’d probably have to start in the woman’s vagina, because I’d be too nervous otherwise.

So with what I have to offer, boy is it really tough to get noticed on here! If I’m lucky, I might get a response when I send an email. Most people are nice enough to accept an offer of friendship, but I have about a third as many turn me down. And I usually don’t offer friendship or send an email unless, after reading through their profile, I see where we have a lot in common. More often than people declining, I have people who don’t even bother to accept or decline. What’s up with that?

My profile gets about 2-3 looks per day (80 in a little under a month). No hot lists, but then again I haven’t put up any new nude photos since 2003. I’ve ordered a six-pack, and it should be in around March or April this year (because I’m working out six days a week, weightlifting and running, and I’ve lost 20 pounds so far since Thanksgiving - yay!). I hope I find a friend on here soon who can help me take some sexy pictures. I have an intro video in mind that I need someone to film for me. Has anyone had any better luck when they put a video or voice intro on their profile? Or would it be better just to upgrade to gold rather than silver?

Just eight flirts in a little over a month. The last flirt is almost certainly from a scammer who joined about four days ago and embedded their gmail address in the “Places You Visit" field. I guess I have to give the scammer points for creativity.

I definitely understood going into this that there were more of me out there than there were women or couples looking for men. What I didn't realize was just how shunned I would be because I am married and because I have a wife that doesn't want to play. So many profiles of women positively scream "NO MARRIED MEN." So many profiles of couples say "No married men without wife". Sigh.

I guess I really didn't expect that I’d have so much trouble this time after my experience with Jackie back in 2003. If I had only known then what I know now, Jackie would have gotten laid right there in the adult video room of that video store as soon as she put her hand on my crotch.

Love,
Your Shy, Swinging, Friendly Neighborhood SensitivePerv


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
1/28/2009 6:18 pm

I'll comment on a couple things that you brought up.

- Paying extra for standard members to be able to contact you:
If you have this feature, no, they don't have to wait for you to write to them, they can initiate contact. HOWEVER...here is why I think this feature is a waste of money for most guys. First of all, I think relatively few women do searches or initiate the first contact. Because of the ratios on here, anyone who is halfway desirable is probably being flooded with emails and has plenty of guys to choose from without having to go out and search and initiate contact. Second, most female standard members DO have privileges to reply to a few emails a day and even to initiate an email every now and then. That's because of the site feature that if a standard member gets a certain number of profile views per week, they get privileges. I've heard male standard members bitterly complain that this is unfair because unpaid female members get more privileges than they do. I think the way the site rationalized it, when I read about it, was that it incents members to post a more appealing profile (read: it incents women to post sexy pictures so that they'll get enough views to have privileges).

I'm sure there is the rare woman who actually does searches and initiates contact - it'll have to be up to you to decide whether you want to pay extra on the off chance that she'll be in touch with you.

- Friend invites
You say, "Some people don't bother to accept or decline - what's up with that?" Well, it can be amazingly time consuming to go through friend invites and decline them one by one (I personally only accept invites from people who I know very well from the chat room or from blogging, so if I bothered to "process" invites, I'd be declining 98% of them). I do believe that anyone who bothers to write me a halfway courteous email deserves the courtesy of a reply. I don't feel the same way about someone who just clicked a 'invite as friend' button. For what it's worth, I currently have about 450 unprocessed friend invites sitting in my account - lol.

Finally - on the 'married guy pariah' thing - I would encourage you to focus your efforts on the married women who are on here - it seems like you'd have a better probability of success. Again, because of the ratios, if single women already have ten or fifteen single guys to choose from, why would they respond to a married guy? Married women have the same need for discretion and the same desire not to get too wrapped up with their playmate (that is, if they've decided to stay married).

The other thing to consider is checking out your area chat room - people will sometimes be more accepting of a married guy if they see him in the context of friendly chatting (NOT hitting on the people in the room). Chat rooms often organize meet and greets, too, where the chatters can meet each other in person.

OK now that I've officially done a 'blogjacking' by writing a comment longer than your blog I'll stop.


SensitivePerv replies on 1/28/2009 8:47 pm:
Thanks smartass, I really appreciate your responses. Not only smart but wise. I do seem to have a lot more success with the married women and couples. I will check out my local chat room. I've had very little success trying to engage new people who don't know me in instant message one-on-one chats.

I do kind of life the "standard member contact". I've gotten in touch with a few ladies recently who don't post pictures because they want to remain anonymous, whether or not they are married or attached. Why they don't just grab a photo of a hottie off the internet and use that, I don't know.

It also makes sense what you are saying about individual accepts or declines. One in particular I'm thinking of is ghislaine98. Have you ever read her profile? That is one of the most amazing profiles I have ever read. It reads like poetry to me, especially because I feel about women so much like the way she describes that she feels about men.

Now that you describe what it's like for popular profilers to me, I imagine that's why she doesn't bother. She probably gets an incredible number of emails each day.

roxy54sexy 61F
8914 posts
1/27/2009 2:57 pm

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