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| Blogs > charleygirl43 > dreams... hopes... fantasies |
should the walls go back up?
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should the walls go back up? i thought i would take time to let people know more about me... about who i am... there are many reasons as to why i am, the way I am. i lived a very sheltered life, under the protection of my parents, and 3 brothers and 3 sisters. i'm quiet, because i got very tired of shouting to be heard, and i found that sometimes, the quietest one is heard the loudest. i'm shy because i never really had to find other to play with, there were enough of them in my own house. i left home when i was 23 years old, moving directly in with my ex-husband. he was very controlling, and first thing he did was keep me from having friends. he alienated me from my family, not wanting me to have much contact with them, if any at all. it took me many years to get up the courage to ask him to leave. there was always a reason why I needed him there… but, now to the issue at hand... i have been proud of some of the character traits that i know i possess, until now... i have realized that other people see them differently than i do. they are seen as flaws… and it seems i have many… --- where i see myself as trusting, others see me as naive. --- where i see myself as loyal, it has been pointed out that i am clingy and possessive. --- where i am dependable, others see me as someone who can be easily taken advantage of. --- where i consider myself to be shy, others find me as self-indulgent, or introverted. --- where i consider myself intelligent, others may find me as sort of standoffish. --- where i consider myself quiet and reserved, i have been told that i come off as being unattainable. --- where i find myself as friendly and sweet, others find me as annoying. --- where i find myself as being quick-witted, i have been told that i am a sarcastic smart-ass. --- while i feel that i am very good hearted, others see me as gullible. --- when i am cautious, i am thought to be paranoid i am thinking i may have to put the walls back up around me... go back to being who i was just 2 years ago... not who i am now... go back to being the scared, timid person, who holds everything in... shows no emotion... back to being the person who let someone control her for over 25 years... allowed someone to abuse her mentally... allowed her spirit to be broken... or do I stay as I am... full of these flaws... and hope that I will be accepted as I am... |
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2/18/2011 7:01 am |
stay as you are, never change who you are for anyone,if they don't accept you for who you are and the hell with them they're not worth it..
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2/18/2011 9:37 am |
There isn't a person that I have met on Local Sexy Swingers that doesnt have some kind of insecurity.Dear Charley believe me I was one of the many walking wounded in here when I arrived.Some things are hard to change and even though Ive met someone sweet Im still haunted by past mistakes in my life. Heavy sighs Everyday I meet new members all with serious realtime issues in their lives who think this place will help them escape. Unfortunately their online experiences end up being as dramatic .Its sad to watch. We are who we are ...u cant worry about what others think of you ... Ive learned the hard way that others cant make us happy .We have to be happy first with ourselves and then maybe we can let them in.Love ya !!! 
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Thats with everyone tho. Im a lot like that too in a few ways. Just do what makes you happy.
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Hugs you Charley. Don't change for anyone. You expressed perfectly how I feel in many ways. I think the important thing is to like yourself for the person you are and not the person that others want you to be.
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2/28/2011 8:45 pm |
walls are how we protect ourselves. There is nothing wrong with having them. They only are wrong if you build them because of fear. Gullible? Possessive? words only..words used by those who seek to identify what is wrong not what is right. Fear of rejection, of making the wrong choice, fear of failure...they help us build walls by giving us excuses. We need our walls at times because they are secure...but too secure as you miss out on life. What is wrong with believing in someone or yourself? Even if you have been wrong before. Nothing. Others find us gullible or whatever because of their walls not because of your. Don't let anyone ever tell you there is something wrong with you...we are who we are and that;s good enough.
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3/1/2011 3:48 am |
I would rather know you with the flaws as we all have them and no one is perfect.
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be who you are, to be someone else, will not be you and others will pick up (or play) on this. I was that way and I just had to be me we are who we are and others will have to take it or leave it. just be happy by being you.
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I have many flaws and walls too..with a ceiling, I concider myself very lucky to have this here room. If only there was a door or window to get out. Oh well can't have everything. On a serious note .. that made me cry.
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8/14/2011 7:56 am |
You're so very honest and refreshing. So real.
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Never ever change who you are, Charley. It's what you are that draws me to you everytime I see you in the room.........And makes me look for your name everytime I walk in......Just hoping. I came in to this room on the hurting side as well....But I am getting that out now....because of a smile and a kiss from a short lady sitting on my lap   puttermania1
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