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Blogs > luoxana > The art of anal

We apparently need a public service announcement, or 4  

luoxana 51F  
330 posts
6/8/2010 8:26 pm
We apparently need a public service announcement, or 4

So, I'm trying to get HIM off my brain...I took a venture to the Ranch again on Friday night. Big mistake!! I should have stayed home and did laundry. I was bored beyond imagination for the first hour and a half, found the world's worst kisser, saw the world's smallest dick (I swear it was 2 inches including the head) and it seems that every man there did not understand that you need to cut your fingernails before getting anywhere near a woman's pussy.

Men:
PSA# 1: CUT YOUR DAMN FINGERNAILS AND LEARN HOW TO PROPERLY FINGER A PUSSY!!! Shit. Is it so much to ask?

PSA #2: If a woman hands you lube, use it, instead of spitting. I wanted to vomit when this dude spit on my pussy/ass.

I am a wet natured person. If I get dry, there is a problem. If I have to play with my pussy to make myself cum, you are not doing your damn job (or I am thoroughly grossed out).

PSA #3: If you know you have the world's smallest dick, don't show it in a room full of well hung men. I had to stop and look when I put my hand on it, and it immediately slipped off. I mean, really, WTF?

PSA#4: If you know you are going to a Swinger/Lifestyle event, please prepare yourself accordingly - and I can even heed my own advice (wasn't expecting the 9 inch dick guy to want anal...yeah, that didn't go over well...then he spit on my ass). On the other hand, realize that there are some "good pussy girls" out there (like me ) who will make you want to cum in 5 minutes...please jack off or something so you don't have to hop up after 2 minutes because you want to cum. The girl is left there wondering, contemplating, and making a damn grocery list in her head.

OK, my rant is over...until the next time!!

On a side note, SouthPark just showed their Canadian characters having sex. They actually showed penises for Terrance and Phillip. I don't know exactly what to think...my brain hurts.

notyoavgplaya 43M
3 posts
6/12/2010 1:04 am

 Wow, may I have an opportunity to get to know you? I have a big dick, I don't do anal and I cut my fingernails!


09NIGHTSTICK 73M
Ask me for a photo
393 posts
6/17/2010 5:15 pm

 Damn not quite 9 inches (between 7 1/2 to 8 inches but thick) and I do like anal. Only if the lady agrees and I use lots of lube. As for the fingernails I keep them cut all the time. I know how to finger a pussy and usa a great tongue on it too. So the guys you met were just not up to date on what a lady needs and wants. wish that I were there to give it to you the right way.


curioustits1956 67F

9/2/2010 7:39 am

 You are crazy,lol. I love your blogs. Wish we could talk more and compare notes. Please keep writing. Denise


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