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Blogs > rm_daytimmer4u > well lets laugh 2

the two dollar bill  

rm_daytimmer4u 62M
56 posts
3/1/2013 4:46 pm
the two dollar bill

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2
bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about
irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him
the $2 bill.

He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The
following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'
He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a
shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big
bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir.'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the
phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the
dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing
he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'

Security Guard walks over to me and...
Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so
I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two
dollar bill.’

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him.

He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,
'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it
dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small
drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what
happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think... those two are of the age to be voting!!!

honeysuckle9397 48F
9040 posts
3/1/2013 5:32 pm

 Holy crap that's funny!!!
Dyslexics are teople poo!
Dyslexics of the world untie.


FMAOPLS 70F
Ask me for a photo
27112 posts
3/3/2013 9:09 pm

 OK, I live North of the border, and I had no idea you Yanks had $2. bills. Didn't they get rid of them a long time ago?

They always used to look at us Canadians, funny, when we tried to pay with one. And now they have taken away our 1 and 2 dollar bills, and replaced them with coins.

And, get this - they just recently did away with the penny too. What is this world coming to?

Thanks for brightening my day - I really enjoyed this funny take at idiocy in our everyday life.
Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.


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