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Blogs > Jingles_J_Jester > FROM THE MIND OF A JESTER

the birth of triple J ?!?  

Jingles_J_Jester 53M
9 posts
3/30/2010 7:40 am
the birth of triple J ?!?

now you must understand, that triple J was a character i played at a Renaissance fair,this is the story of how my first year working the fair, and as such i had to urn my way.They started me out as the village idiot (me!) but that was the character assignment, and the one i had to play 24-7 all summer.My costume consisted of a burlap sack turned in to a long tunic,(which itched like all hell), and a rope,no shoes.Needless to say i was less then thrilled!!Now as i have stated we are to stay in character at all times,any break in character means time in the stocks!!Not a pleasant way to sped time!!As the village i was basically playing the part of a retard(not to be offensive)but do not weep for ole triple J just yet, for there was hope!!I could get myself promoted into the court,but it came with a price!But in truth wasn't impossible, you see the only way any jester character could get himself promoted , was to smear the Queen... sounds easy some would say,but not so for the village idiot.now the court was the place to be for jesters,, the court would mean a silk "tattered-termillion"(fools costume),NO MORE BURLAP!!!
Now in order to smear the queen, you must take a haunch of meat, and run it across her dress...sounded simple,till i remembered i have to stay in character!as the idiot i could not use a direct approach, and need to give myself more then enough time to think of a way how.but i'm getting ahead of myself, this was the first day. and well let's say it could have gone better!
early morning J having just finished dressing, or so i thought, as i walk out the door leading out to the market place, i realized i had forgotten to remove my watch!!, But even worse was the fact that at that very moment, the watches alarm went off! BEEP.BEEP,BEEP which of course the guard by the door heard, and screamed," WITCH CRAFT!!!, and before i could move two more steps he' and his partner were on me, and dragging me to the stocks, to await the king, and my trial!!!Well Arthur, took his sweet time getting out to the market on most days, but was even later then usual.i spent the next 2 hours in the stocks, being pelted with vegetables!!when King Arthur arrived he was told my charges,accompanied by my wails of innocence!But Arthur was not to be moved, and decreed that the witch, would be burned at the stake that very night!!!and so i was thrown in chains, which took the 4 guards over a half an hour to accomplish, i wasn't going with out a struggle! And was dragged to the stables to await my execution!Kicking,clawing, and screaming all the way!!!Oh our fearless hero was in a funk, and sobbed the day away,till the "kings Jester"paid me a visit, and explained that this was one of the ways they enforced the first rule of the fair... one is to remain in character at all times!!!And also how i could make it into the court!!! no more crying, it was time for J to do what he was worst at...thinking!!!and that night while i roasted marshmallows in my death pyre,watching the dummy with my tunic on him, burned, a plan began to form in my mind,actually several did, but only one where i knew i would stay within the confines of my character a desperate plan to be sure, but a plan none the less.So in a new burlap tunic, i set about the next day to enact my plan.The first thing i would need was money!! and as a beggar, a lot of money!!
All told it took me a week to prepare for my first attempt on the Queen.but at long last i had the money necessary to buy all that i needed... all told 200 copper pieces.in truth a paltry sum, but a fortune to me!!The first thing i needed was my haunch of meat i chose a leg of turkey which i wore strung to my rope-belt. and spent the rest of the day looking for the armory,and half the next trying to find it...i tend to get lost either in thought(day-dreaming) or literally lostBut at last found it and bought the next tool of my brilliant scheme and so went to sleep on the ground along the King, and Queens parade route...now i'll let you in on the gag!!!
i had bought my self a cross-bow and from the top of the stable i would fire my turkey leg,hitting the Queen,and smearing her dress as i rolled down it!!!What could go wrong!!!!
Oh just everything positioned atop the stable,cross-bow loaded, and at the ready the parade was approaching! i steadied om trusty crossbow, and waited for the honor guard too pass,with the King and Queen in tow!!! My trap was set!!!as she came into aim i raised up getting to a knee as i fired my mighty missile!!! to only have it fly a few pathetic feet, and fall harmlessly to the roof.But was more then enough to get me spotted by my good friends the guards:Grabbing my turkey leg, and sliding down, and then off the roof,right into the arms of the very guards i was attempting to flee!!!and once again was brought before Arthur in chains, and shame,not at what i had tried to do( which is exactly what i told Author) but at the fact that i had failed!!!And so was charged with treason, and scheduled to be hung the next morning!!
And that is the end of today's story,come back tomorrow, and hear more
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