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| Blogs > rm_CENSO > Tales of a real-life Casanova |
The Night I Lost My ... Road Rage
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The Night I Lost My ... Road Rage The city was Miami; Hialeah to be exact, the year - 1996. It was a cool, clear summer night in April and I had just left my house in my '91 Nissan Maxima - I was going to visit the old man down in Little Havana's Calle Ocho. I could have taken LeJeune Road straight into Miami, but ahhhh, I didn't feel like dealing with all the stop-lights. So preferring to cruise on the highway instead of stopping and going down the street, I drove slightly out of my way to hop on the Palmetto Expressway and headed Southbound. The time was around 10pm, the traffic was very light, the windows and sunroof were open, cool breeze blowing in my hair, and I was jammin' to some of Miami's indigenous tunes from a local radio station. In order to get to where I needed to go, I had to hop on an intersecting highway which would take me Eastbound, the Dolphin Expressway. So I did what I had to do, to get where I needed to be - like I've done literally ... a thousand times before. So here I am driving 5 mph above the speed limit in the middle lane of a (then) 3 lane highway. I normally have a lead foot, but at that time of night, the po po's like to hide in the dark and surprise you with the blue light special from behind. Besides, there were no cars in front nor behind me for quite some distance. My modus operatus was simple; I was visiting my old man, and I was enjoying the weather - so I figured "what's the rush?", enjoy the commute too. Miami International Airport was now to my left, mmmmmm, always a pleasing sight to see ... especially when one of those cross-continental super jumbo airliners land gracefully on the runway and you fixate your eyes on the moment of impact where the tires hit the ground and you see a small plume of smoke emit as a result of the union of those 2 forces - it always put a smile on my face to see that for some odd reason. But anyway, that was a moot point because it was at night and I couldn't have seen it anyway. What I did see up ahead of me however, was a vehicle travelling on the on-ramp to merge onto the Eastbound Dolphin expressway; the same direction I was heading. When you're in a situation like that, your subconscious mind thinks, "well I'm in the middle lane, so I don't have to switch over to grant him the courtesy of merging successfully" (which is exactly why I chose to drive in the middle lane so I didn't have to switch lanes often for motorists entering and exiting the highway). Now before I can make out the silhouette of the car (because of the darkness), I already knew it was a Mazda 626. Hehe you see, I like to play this game at night while driving. What I do is I look at the shape of the taillights up ahead before getting close enough to see the car and I try to guess the make and model. I'm about 99% accurate when I play. I then became acutely aware of his presence in my peripheral view as my constant speed quickly matched his accelerating speed. So the moment came where he had built up enough speed in the right lane after having successfully merged onto the highway. I passed him slightly at my cruising speed, so he lagged a little behind. But I noticed he continued accelerating. Hey, no problem, people pass me all the time. But the problem was that there was a car travelling even slower than me in the right lane ... the lane HE was in. So he punched it. I heard his engine rev louder and he started to overtake me so as to avoid having to slow down and then switch lanes behind me. Lol you know, I REALLY was enjoying my drive, but me being Mr. Man over here, 19 years old, living in Miami, and driving the "4 Door Sportscar" with 190 horsepower, V6 engine, 24 valve, Dual Overhead Cam ... whoopteedo! But when you're that age, EVERY car is like a Formula-1 race car, and lets face it, your manhood is on the line. So my Sigmund Freud's Ego segment of the ID, Ego, & Super Ego of subconciousness kicked into full drive and I'm thinking ... Oh HELLS nah you ain't about to cut ME off, punk! So what does the testosterone driven little 19 year old do? Floors it too! My Maxima snaps out of it's peaceful cruise-control mode, I turn off the over-drive button AND down shift to Drive 2 .... screaching my tires as it downshifts and revs dangerously close to redlining. What's this idiota thinking? I've got this big 'n beefy Maxima and he's tinkering in his little 626. At that point, it became blatently obvious I was going to give him a run for his money, so he punched his little 2-door car even harder. I was disappointed to say the least when I saw him actually pull the stunt off successfully. He switched lanes, cutting me off - bad, and avoided the car ahead of him that would have proven just how much of a wuss he was if he had only slowed down and switched lanes behind me. But no way papa, you ain't gonna diss me like that - this was far from over. You see, my car WAS more powerful than his, but because of the 626 being so little and light, he was able to accelerate faster than me. So now I take the offensive (ya right, like I didn't decide to do that back when this whole mess started) and got on the left lane to try and overtake him. Higher top speed, now in excess of 120mph, proved superior in my car because I finally overtook him, but damn it if he didn't keep up and tried his hardest. To return the gesture, as if I were going to be awarded some trophy at the end when this was all over, I decide "now I'm gonna cut YOU off maricon!" So I begin to, only ... damn, he seemed WAY too close to my rear bumper. I was afraid I was going to clip him. So I retreated from the cut off and yanked my steering wheel to get back into my lane. You know, that night was the first time I felt g-forces usually experienced in a roller coaster, but without actually going to the theme park. You see, when I yanked that steering wheel, little inexperienced driver me didn't realize that at high-speeds, that's a big no no. So round and round I went, where I'll stop, nobody knows. Now, don't get me wrong ... I didn't let go of the steering wheel and put my hands by my cheeks and scream out loud at the top of my lungs like some bitch! Heck no, I was grabbing onto that steering wheel, white knuckled, trying to make some sense out of how to counter steer and gain SOME sort of control while doing 360's down the highway at speeds in excess of 100mph. Screw the airplanes, now I was making my OWN smokin tires. It wasn't until that evening where I realized HOW true that phrase is "your life flashes before your eyes", when you're in a life or death situation like that. So here I am I'm spinning and spinning, and in nanosecods, the mind is thinking: when will I flip over? When will I hit the center medium? When will I skid off the road and wind up in the ditch? Luckily, heh, MIRACULOUSLY, none of the above happened. Instead, my Maxima stalled and came to a complete and safe stop right in the middle of the highway ... facing oncoming traffic! Oh no, I've avoided all these pitfalls and now these other cars are gonna ram me at full speed. I flicker my high beams to alert them as if to say "hey, dumbass here facing the wrong way ... slow down please" and tried to reach the ignition to restart my car. Nervous, shaken, confused, and disoriented, I was determined to get her purring again ... ole Maxi gal started right back up. I quickly turn her around as the now oncoming motorists stand on their brakes and come to an intermittengly screaching stop because of their anti-lock brakes. I drive away, reach my destination, and that was the end of that. Hand gestures, verbal attacks, vindictive agressive driving, you name it, I did it. I had Miami Road Rage. Being half Dominican & Cuban didn't help neither because my blood's boiling point was naturally low already. But that night I was saved. Was it divine intervention? Hmmmm, part of me likes to think so. But why is it that whenever something good like that happens we're so quick to show faith "thank you God thank you God!" But yet, where the heck is He when airliners crash into sky scrapers and government buildings? Alright alright, so I won't get started on that, BUT, I still DO like to think that luck, some sort of a miracle, and a wee bit of my Mario Andretti driving skills saved me from completely obliterating myself into that concrete center barrier or a whole other myriad of really bad scenarios. I walked away from it completely unscathed, and my Maxi gal? Prolly had her adrenaline rush and thought it was cool. But ever since then, I've abandoned my old ways and humbly respect the law of physics when it comes to speed, other crazy ass irate motorists, and that really hard, painful looking asphalt blacktop. I now voluntarily subject my Super Ego whenever I'm confronted with a potential Road Rage encounter ... and I just let it go. ^v^ P.S. - And the driver of the 626? I bet he peed his pants for laughing so much at me. Fucker!  |
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10/10/2005 8:56 am |
LMAO!!! (That's for your closing line) Road Rage, you mean thats bad?!?!? (hehehe) Well, I don't get enraged, just really mad and annoyed.  Then again I say most FL drivers suck!! Most Floridians say that FL drivers suck cause this is where most NYers come...I RESENT that!  Los "Santos" te cuidaron ese dia papi...we need to get further into that conversation some other day...don't we?
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