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| Blogs > rm_texasmermaid > Tossing Sparkles In the Air |
Ways to Make her Remember
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Ways to Make her Remember Any fool can impress a girl with jewelry and furs. But it is a rare man indeed who can impress a girl with sex. Im not talking about giving her orgasms, I'm talking about making her remember the episode for some other noteworthy reason, which leads to her to want to repeat the performance. *rolls eyes* Dudes, if you want to get her to play your skin flute more frequently, then make it a memorable experience for her. This also applies, but to a lesser extent, to intercourse and cunnilingus. So here are some "how to" suggestions pertaining to these matters in no particular order. Filming your activities is essential so that you can later help her fondly recall the experience. 1. ANGRY DRAGON: Immediately after you blow your load in her mouth, smack the back of her head and make your spunk come out of her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon. 2. TEA BAG: Have your girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over her with your hands on your knees and dip your family jewels in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some kinda fucked up yoga exercise. And while she is sucking your balls you tap your dick on her forehead while uttering the timeless phrase, "Who's your daddy?" She will remember this one mostly because she will be repeatedly questioned by her girlfriends the next day regarding the bruise in the middle of her forehead. Her response will be to blush and refuse to answer. Your response will be to threaten to tell her girlfriends unless she lets you tea bag her again. 3. THE HOUDINI: Go at it doggy with your girl until you are just about to cum. Then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have shot your wad. When she turns around unleash a blast and give her a pearl necklace. She will be left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it. 4. CUM GUZZLING SPERM BURPING BITCH: Blow a hot steamy load down the back of your girl's throat. Immediately give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the cum guzzling sperm burping effect. This is a great way to impress your friends and she will love being the life of the party. 5. DIRTY SANCHEZ: While laying the bone doggy insert your finger into your girl's asshole. Then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit mustache. Tell her this makes her look like someone famous named Dirty Sanchez. 6. FLAMING AMAZON: This one is for all you pyromaniacs out there. While you are screwing your girl begin to sing "Light My Fire" by Jim Morrison and The Doors. Right when you are about to cum, pull out and quickly grab a lighter and set her pubes on fire. Then extinguish the flames with your jizz! 7. FLYING CAMEL: While your girl is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her little love box. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. She will be thoroughly impressed with this classy move. 8. SCREWNICORN: You need the cooperation of your girl's totally hot bisexual girlfriend for this one. Your job is to operate the camcorder while you watch and jerk off. Have the girlfriend put the strap-on dildo on her forehead and get after your girl like a crazed unicorn. 9. DONKEY PUNCH: Do your girl doggy and moments before you cum stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in her rectum, which will constrict your penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate. She will forget all about the pain in her ass due to the pain in her neck, which you attribute to whiplash from a real good fucking. 10. ZOMBIE MASK: While getting great head from your girl, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty eyes when you blow your load. When she does shoot your spoogie in both of her eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched and moaning like the walking dead. There you have it, your top 10 list. These will impress her far more than anything David Letterman ever did with his top 10. But wait, there are a few more. Just in case...... 11. TRY THE CONDITIONER: Suggest to your girl that you can make her hair look even more beautiful. Mention that ground up Habiscus leaves and coconut oil are wonderful natural hair conditioners and EC (Environmentally Correct). And then emphatically state that semen has been scientifically proven to be an even better natural conditioner as it contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc. Soon she won't be complaining when the one-eyed spit monkey makes a mess in her new do. In fact, she will probably request that you "condition" her hair several times a day. 12. ONE-EYED PIRATE: While ravaging your winch an before ye ar about to cum work ye mast vigorously in her hidden treasure. Then when ye feel your tember shiver pull out and punch her in one leg. Yell "Thar she blows!" as she looks up ye cum in her eye. Sit back and enjoy as she hops in pain on one leg screaming, "Arrrrrrgggggggg, me eye!" 13. HAPPY MEAL: Okay, now it's time to reward your girl for breathing through her ears and singing into the purple microphone so many times. We're talking about fish here, not chicken nuggets or a burger (unless it has fur on it). Make the tuna melt. Don't stop until your tongue feels like it is going to fall off. Then say, "Thank you for the Happy Meal, honey." If she responds, "You are such a cunning linguist!" you will know there are many more innovative BJs (see ANGRY DRAGON and ONE-EYED PIRATE) in your immediate future. There you go, now you have 13 different innovative ways to impress your girl with sex. 13 is your lucky number. Good luck! Good suck! Good fuck!  |
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6/25/2008 6:49 am |
Awesome list Mer [post 977684] [post 1673788] [post 1567265] [post 2508587] [post 2511504] [post 2589132] Are You Ready For........[post 2587359] Check it out & particpate!! The BHL Blog Interviews...[post 2597695] The BHL Blog Index.......[post 2594103]     
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Mer You are a hoot XX MJ
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6/2/2008 10:59 pm |
LOL on that one!
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6/2/2008 2:57 pm |
I have to say I haven't tried any of these manuevers, maybe that is why i don't get head regularly. Hysterical post my sexy lady!
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