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Difficult Discussions Without Compromise
Difficult Discussions Without Compromise I've negotiated as a union leader in my career. And I've haggled as a member of a business leadership team. Some of the most difficult issues have been remarkably easy to solve through conversation, discussion, and a little give and take. It's not the issues that make conversations tough. It's the temperament and attitude of the talkers. My most difficult conversations have been with those who take a "no compromise" stance, who expect everyone else to do the giving while they do the taking. My mother-in-law was like that. (It does tend to run in the family.) Her strident nature confounded me at first. Until I learned to expect it from her and not be put off or upset when I'd run up against it. I'd offer a compromise and she'd refuse it. Eventually I realized she thought I was giving her a choice between my compromise offer and her demand. She didn't get it that the compromise was my "final offer", the limits of how far I'd go, that the real choice was between that compromise or the status quo. Our conversations often ended in stalemate. She went ahead anyway once, doing something I'd objected to that she insisted on even though we hadn't reached an agreement. She was very angry when I refused to thank her. I told her I was disappointed that she didn't respect my "No" and I wasn't going to thank her for that. It was hard to do. I took a lot of flak from my wife for it. And she remained impossible to compromise with. But after that she understood that "No" means "No". I became the only one who could get away with saying that to her. And I learned that sometimes letting those who won't compromise fail is the only way to for them to learn that sometimes compromise is better than nothing at all. En-Joy! En-Joy! |
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quite a long story,but then how should i rate this
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Oh, good post! I've known people like that too- we all do. You stood your ground without being combative- the only adult in the room. I really enjoyed reading this one! Coulda been twice as long... I still woulda liked it! Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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N , I liked this post! Yes, it is hard having discussions with someone who feels that "compromise" is a dirty word. Kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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You did very well my friend standing your grow.. Most would have not have hugssssss V Good post and interesting read as well.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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