Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now
| Blogs > patfade > My Blog |
Love VS Sex
|
Love VS Sex First, I just want to say that this is sometimes very embarrassing..I was married for over 25 years, I have been divorced now for about 6 years. Whenever I am with a woman, and it gets to the bedroom stage, If the sex is really great, (most sex is, ha ha) I will look the woman in the eye, and tell her I love her, now, just to make this clear...at that point in time, I do love her, and it heightens the whole experience, but it usually is misunderstood by my partner, either she freezes up, and freaks out, or she will start "making plans" for "us". I don't want either one to happen. I don't have casual, or 1 night stand sex. the women that I have been this way with, I have dated for awhile, and there is an attraction for both of us. I am just still too scared of love, I got hurt real bad when my marriage ended, and the thought of love makes me break out in a sweat, unless of course, my cock is buried in a woman I like alot...is this a classic case of letting the wrong head think for me?? |
||||
|
If you can't say something and mean it with your pants on and your zipper zipped, then don't say it under any other circumstances. Never ignore those who care for you you will have lost diamonds while you were collecting stones
| |||
|
Love is founded in physical things. For some, it's brewing tea and knitting blankets for someone to keep them warm. For others, it's working to provide them with food and shelter. For others, it is embodied in sex. I truly love everybody I touch. In fact, I love everybody I meet, so I don't find it weird or inappropriate for someone to say that, ever. But you've presented two situations which might be sides of one coin. In one, she freaks out. In the other, she starts "making plans" and you freak out. If you think something, you should definitely say it, but it is your responsibility to identify what exactly it entails to avoid it being misinterpreted, and if you have mixed feelings from your past then you should say how those affect you too. Warn people about any weirdness you have. It sounds like your thoughts are more pure when you're high on attraction. Now you have to make them that way all the time, but in the meantime there is danger of screwing with her head by saying one thing and then seeming to go back on it. "I love you" is a simple phrase which only applies when your feelings are simple. If they are more complex, explain yourself to her in more detail. People find it odious to talk something to death, but it's actually a sign of social skill to be explicit and thorough. Subtlety is for movie characters. Do you say everything to them that you said in this post? That's a start.
| |||
|
Lady Luck, your comment was kind of harsh, but I have to agree with you, I guess I should have mentioned in my post, that I feel like an ass afterwards..I guess it is just the closeness with someone I really care for that brings it out, but the fear and trust issues from my marriage won't let it stay there...I hope that makes even just a little sense
| |||
|
Sandra D..so you are saying there are different types of love?..love my mother, love my kids, love ice cream...like that? I don't think at the time when I say it, she is thinking I love ice cream,..lol I want to feel that way, I don't want it to "expire at midnight", but love honestly scares me to death, not the commitment, but the fear of it ending, I know I sound really screwed up, lol
| |||
|
"and tell her I love her, now, just to make this clear...at that point in time, I do love her, and it heightens the whole experience," First of all, understand that I've been where you are...in relationships that lasted very long times, 18 yrs until my wife died, then 25 yrs for my second. So, I know first hand, that those are VERY long times of familiarity with someone, where saying "I love you" becomes almost second nature...like a habit, especially after sex. The second thing, during and after sex, many, many chemicals and hormones are released into the body. Two of these are seratonin and oxytocone; both of which increase feelings of closeness, bonding, affection, etc. Bottomline, what you are feeling at the time, and what you should be saying to effectively communicate those feelings is : "Wow, that sex was great! I feel awesome and that makes me feel really close to you now, like I'm bonding with you. I feel affection and tenderness towards you." Trust me, it is a difficult habit to break, but it is better in the long haul; it avoids early confusion, and makes the real "I love you" more meaningful, when it is finally said.
| |||
|
That makes perfect sense...I feel like someone, or something is controlling me, and the words just come out before I can stop them.... Thanks for your input
| |||
6/26/2018 3:41 pm |
Oh Darling, It's all about separating sex and love. I understand getting hurt as my best friend in the world ran me out and then stole my life savings. I love sex. Sex is fun and makes you happy. I love love. It can make you happy too, but they are two very different things. I have sex friends from here that will always be friends. I love that friendship. I am looking for that one special person I can be in love with who understands that sex is fun and sex with others doesn't make me love you less. I was in that relationship for 18 years. It was celibate and it got boring. Variety is the spice of life and I want the one I love to know if they have the chance to go for it. I want to hear all about it, but I want my man to feel as if he can take whatever he can get with impunity. I even want to help get the ones that seem unattainable for him. As long as he love me and I am free to fuck at will he is free also. xxxooo Tori
|
Become a member to create a blog
