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| Blogs > schothot69 > Intelligence is very sexy |
How stupid are you? Or maybe, how stupid do you think I am?
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How stupid are you? Or maybe, how stupid do you think I am?   So my latest Local Sexy Swingers idiocy is too hilarious not to share. And probably one of the things about this story that makes it so amusing is that is it seriously a YEAR in the making!! ...so last year when I was going to PA for work I had emailed this guy on Local Sexy Swingers a few times, and at some point we exchanged so texted each other as well, but we had never actually met. Not great timing or whatever it was I don't really remember. It just didn't happen. No harm, no foul. Recently, last month in fact, I had changed my travel location to NJ and he texted me again.... yadda yadda yadda... remember me, how are you, we should get together if you're in the area. So of course being the cya person I am I go back to my emails and see what we talked about last year, and check out his profile again to remind myself. Seems interesting. Pretty cute. And I reply and we text a few more times and plan to meet the next week I am in Jersey. Then he sends me this...  Like three or four times over a few days, from a variety of different angles. I mean he is really working at getting me some great shots here. I will spare you the multitude of them as I am sure you can get the gist with that one pic. I'm thinking a variety of things at this point. First is that I got a new phone (Samsung S6) and I'm thinking the image quality on it is really great, and it has this super zoom so you can see real up close. But then as I actually look I think "seriously?" You have got to be kidding me. Are you really that stupid? Do you think I am really that stupid? Don't you remember that you sent me photos of yourself before and ummm, how to put this... one of these things is not like the other. And what if we actually met? That somehow the picture you sent me and the real deal are the same and I just can't tell? OH. MY. GAWD. So I play along for a while. I text him that you've sent me that already so send me one right now. Which he actually does. I was surprised because it was not one of the many pics he had sent over the prior days. This was legitimately him. I won't post it but ummm, how to put this... one of these things is not like the other. It was definitely the same as the year before. So again I play along and continue to text. I must have been really bored that day. me: What's up with the dildo pic? he: What? me: You messaged me you were "so hard" then sent a dildo pic then a real pic saying make it hard. Are you kidding me? he: Ur mad now me: You're amusing he: What's that mean me: Do you think I should be mad? he: No why? sidebar - at this point I just had to roll my eyes and called it a day. when I call you on your bullshit the least you can do it fess up and take it like a man. Was I really mad? no. Was I annoyed? yes. Was I done? yes. No time for liars and fakes. he: Hello he: hey u he: hello and a few more... I don't know if he stopped or not. I blocked his number on my phone so no more texts are coming through in any case so I don't really know or care. Every time I think about this story though or tell someone about it, I just can't stop laughing. As stupid as it is, it was least good for a laugh. So on that note, I thank you JZ. You are truly a funny guy. But we are never getting together. Like ever. Hope you all have a great day! Until next time... |
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OMG, its clearly fake as fake could ever get....get off the fake cock porn dude, its feasting his brain alive, I tells ya!  Its is quite funny in a deplorable way.  Greater Than The Sum Of My Constituent Parts! 
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One just has to wonder how long he thought he could pull that off.. Now there are only two things in life, but I forget what they are.
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I don't know why, but it reminds me of this: Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed aching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other. \Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman' s thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: (logged off)
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No... come on! He wasn't seriously trying to pass that off as his dick.... he was joking around with you, right?
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You'd this so, right?? But no, the varied text that came along with all those pictures were no joke. Simply unreal. SMH...
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