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| Blogs > Kootie_Kat > Meandering Me... |
I Fish, Therefore I Lie.
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I Fish, Therefore I Lie. This post is about a first date that kinda sorta went bad due to a misunderstanding. I'm claiming the blame, although I don’t feel I was actually in the wrong. There are different shades of gray when discussing what a lie is. I told the truth, but in a deceptive manner. I had met a woman online. After chatting back and forth for a while, it came out that we both like to fish. So I invited the lady to go fishing one Saturday morning. She agreed and so we began to talk on the phone. I told her we could float around in my boat. This was docked at my friend Mullah’s place on Chocolate Bayou in Liverpool. This is a community near Alvin. At some point I told her “it's a little dinghy, but I named it ‘After You’ ”. She seemed impressed and got all giggly with me at that revelation. She told me that she was really looking forward to our date. I felt confident I was on the right track. The big day arrived and we decided to meet for breakfast at a little place called Lila’s in Pearland. When we finished eating, we took her car back to her place. We rode to Liverpool in my car. Between breakfast and the trip to my friend’s house we talked. And we were really hitting it off. Eventually we got to Mullah’s house on Chocolate Bayou. There everything took a turn for the worse when she saw my boat. She was livid when she saw my little rowboat. I could see her go from excited anticipation to shocked disbelief. To outrage onward into enraged. I could see her face and neck were bright red where the make-up wasn’t piled on as thickly. She called me a liar and began screaming at me in Spanish. (Spanish is a romantic" language.) I know it was bad, but it sounded soooo good. I was thinking “this is so sexy” as she poured the invectives out at me. My friend Mullah was sitting on the deck that ran all across the back side of her house. She was drinking a margarita. She hollered “is something wrong?” My girlfriend, I mean my date, said “who is that, your mother?” That did not sit well with Mullah. She jumped up and walked briskly down to the dock. The two women had a heated exchange. I know very little Espanola, but it all sounded very hot to me. Again I knew it was bad but it sounded really good. Really good and very sexy. They switched to English after a few minutes. My date said I had lied and telling her I had named my boat after her. She accused me of being a little dingy. I said “I didn’t say I named it after you; I named it After You”! This started another burst of Spanish. This was starting to not sound so sexy. Mullah told said “why don’t we sit on the deck and have a few drinks? Kootie is a really good bartender”. My date said “you lied about not drinking, too?!?” Mullah chimed in “I’ve known this man for 35 years. I have never known him to take a drink. But he does make kick ass drinks”. We didn’t do any fishing that day. But Mullah and my Latino honey were having a great time. Later Mullah told me that I had gotten really lucky that day. I’m like “Lucky! How do you figure that?” “You didn’t get shot and thrown into the bayou to feed the crabs.” In my defense the girl said it right in her profile. That she wanted a man with a sense of humor. Maybe she meant one with a little more sense and with a little less humor. I don't have a photo so I drew an "artist's rendition" of the "After You". It's a little hazy, (been a long time since that day). Not my best but my self imposed deadline is pending.  |
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  What a tale! You hooked me with the title and then just continued reeling me in! Didn't even need the net!Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Great story. 
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