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I really think you nailed it with this post. There has been a SURGE in BDSM since 50shades was published, most do not realize that is not reality, others only feel Dominant if they are being Sadistic, for me these are to separate traits. I believe a Dominant gets their reward/pleasure from Guiding and nurturing their submissive where a Sadist gets their pleasure from inflicting pain on their masochist my greatest thrill as a dominant was finding new sources of sexual pleasure for my submissive
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8/14/2019 12:07 pm |
I think you got it right. Thanks for the insights.
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This was a great read and I totally agree with your concepts of it indeed. It takes someone very trustworthy in order to enjoy the "DOM" experience.
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As a game, for a thrill or just out of curiosity ; I'd experiment, with a willing partner... for a night, or two... or even once in a while. It would be, a lot of fun. As a lifestyle, defined by "the expert's", point of view (from what I've read and seen), in all its varied forms ; it holds no interest for me... at all. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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There are almost as many degrees and variations to the BDSM lifestyle as there are practitioners. But you got the key point - find someone you're comfortable with and explore slowly. Shorts, on HNW Wet Fun My First Nekkie Experience of the Public Kind I Mean [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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People like to pretend this dom and sub routine. They call it dom and sub, they put on costumes and use/wear accessories, all to not call it , abusing someone.
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I could not tolerate that type of situation having been in the mentally abused situation. Makes me wonder what the millenials thin about this (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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Very true words, thanks for sharing
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No you are not wrong, it was a sexual based relationship, but was about exploration and expanding limits.
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That last meme , you mentioned, is not about being a dominant to the woman, it's just about being a masculine man [which just happens to be a natural dominant]. These are just natural masculine traits. But first, he should determine she is the woman he wants. No sense in doing all that for a woman who doesn't deserve it. If she needs a snowflake, dump her.
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First of all, I cannot begin to explain how much I hated the fifty shades ! amp; Having said that.... That last meme my lady , as someone points out is a simple guideline for a respectful ,maybe masculine as he says, behavior Generally a partner's behavior Aside from kinks, whips gags and chains... As for "Dom" etc etc, I'd love to see these types tackling everyday issues before expanding this behavior into the bedroom - to a usually traumatized partner ( here's your change from your 2 cents my lady ) And have I mentioned in how many ways I hate the 50 shades ???amp; Cheers - P
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As an event... A night... A "one off" or... a series of games a couple might play... then ; I can see it happening. You know... when you gently.. tie or are tied, to the edges of a bed, with silk scarves or nylons.. and blindfolded... and your lover approaches you. Tingling... is the operative word. I can imagine, and have experienced, THAT type of thrill. Yes it's exhilarating! Explosive. Unrelenting. Crazy... hot 🔥 But... to turn it into a Lifestyle? No thanks. I don't know if you know what I mean. 🤔 It's a thrill... but NOT as a habit. I'm a pretender. However... I'm positive... if given the chance... you would pretend... with me. Or not... Anyway. Do you know what I mean? 😘 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I think that those in the know understand completely what you are trying to say and the messages that the memes convey. Those that do not understand should take the time to educate themselves so that they can comment from a point of reference and intelligence instead of one of ignorance. Great post!
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Yet, you don't seem to view women in a positive light. I don't know what that is suppose to mean, but if I understand you, then the "Light" is "Neutral", until "A PARTICULAR" woman has earned a pos or neg light.
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There are a lot of misconceptions about that lifestyle. There are also a lot of pretenders...men, especially, who call themselves a Dom but really have no clue what it’s all about. BDSM is defined as ‘bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism’. There are also variations within that lifestyle..it’s not all about inflicting physical pain. And my understanding is that the true BDSM players hated the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, viewing it as a romanticized vision that clearly lacked the fundamentals of safety and consent. There are lots of great articles about it.
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I was D/s with my husband as a way of life. The only thing it meant in the end, was that he guided me to height's I was afraid to explore on my own, and he had the final say in things we could not agree upon......both in everyday life decisions and in the bedroom. Other than that, we were a normal couple. Even in a partnership, one person has to have the final say, otherwise it becomes an impasse. It was consensual for our relationship to be structured this way from the beginning. I've been D/s in another relationship that didn't involve sex at all. Not going into the particulars, but in this case I was the recognized "Dom" and she was submissive to me. Again, it was agreed upon and negotiated from the start. I've also been submissive in just a sexual context with someone. That's what trips my trigger sexually, some people get off on kissing, oral sex, anal sex, the list is endless, but you get the idea. In my case it's being submissive to someone in bed. It's not about the action as much as the emotional and mental fulfillment I get from it. Pleasing someone, although it really is reciprocal, they are pleasing me in return. When you think about it, we all have traits from both sides of the coin. And how we fall on that spectrum in terms of another person, determines how we act and react to the other. . There is also nothing "abusive" about this type of relationship if it is practiced in a loving consensual manner. It's more a matter of recognizing each other's wants and needs and fulfilling them.
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excellent post and very true...D/s is largely misunderstood......
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I originally thought I was interested in the sub role, but upon reflection it wasn't for me. I would say I'm not dominant either, but some people who have worked with me might disagree with that. I do seem to naturally step in if there is a leadership void. For me the whole scene is a bit lighter and more about playing with sadism and masochism. I enjoy topping people (purposely not using the word 'dominating' here) and I also enjoy the endorphins that come from being on the receiving end of impact play.
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Oh, and I disagree with the person who said it's mostly women who are subs. I know a LOT of submissive men. There is a running joke in the kink community that if a guy calls himself a switch, he's probably a sub (because it is not seen to be socially acceptable for a man to be submissive).
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8/25/2019 3:37 pm |
Each D/s relationship is different based on the connection and combination of wants and needs. communication and respect - simple.
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