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NEVER jump to conclusions!!!!!
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Posted:Sep 15, 2013 9:26 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2013 7:59 pm
9254 Views
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A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
youngest had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your
."
With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
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In bad taste? ... yep probably!! Funny? ... absolutely!!
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Posted:Sep 11, 2013 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2013 7:22 pm
9988 Views
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Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.
As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin--but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."
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Bless her heart !!!!
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Posted:Sep 9, 2013 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2017 12:32 pm
9671 Views
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A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer. The following exchange took place. The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gave his wife a dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. "
Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man gave his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."
The man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk!"
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Is the magic still there???
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Posted:Sep 6, 2013 10:04 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2017 12:33 pm
9388 Views
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The Black Bra (as told by a married woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here’s how it all went.
My engaged friend : The other night when my
boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams..
I love you..’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress :
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story : When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
‘What’s for dinner, Batman?’
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Because it's the right thing to do .....
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Posted:Sep 5, 2013 9:44 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2013 3:55 pm
9365 Views
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A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It didn’t take the home owner long to realize the man was drunk.
“Hi there,” slurs the stranger. “Can you give me a push??” “No, get lost. It’s half past three. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost??”
“But the guy was drunk,” says the husband.
“It doesn’t matter,” says the wife. “He needs our help and it would be the right thing to help him.” So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push??” And he hears a voice cry out, “Yeah, please.”
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?” And the stranger replies, “I’m over here, on your swing.”
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NFL Regular Season Starts ....
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Posted:Sep 5, 2013 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2017 12:34 pm
8931 Views
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I'm more of a CFL fan, but I thought I'd dedicate one to our American brothers ....
Have a great NFL season people!!!!
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You think he'll be up for a promotion anytime soon????
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Posted:Sep 3, 2013 7:12 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2018 10:20 pm
9603 Views
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Bob calls in to his job:
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house."
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Bugs!!!
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Posted:Sep 2, 2013 2:22 pm
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2017 12:35 pm
9408 Views
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Has anyone run into the situation where you try to respond to a comment and the site just won't post your reply?? ... no matter how many times you try!!
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To link to this blog (castomper) use [blog castomper] in your messages.
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... I just wasn't expecting a place where you practically need a bulldozer to clear a path to the washroom!!
