I am shocked
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Posted:Jan 8, 2018 7:04 pm
Last Updated:Apr 23, 2019 4:43 pm
1160 Views
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So I got banned from a room today, and the only reason I can think of is an ex of mine (split up didn't go well) is a regular member of the group. When I came back, I thought she had left the past in the past, but I guess not. I am just stunned right now. I really thought we could all be adults, but it seems that isn't possible. Maybe I shouldn't have come back at all if this is the way it is going to be.
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Fake Doms
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Posted:May 3, 2017 12:21 pm
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2017 2:22 am
1749 Views
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Ok, fair warning - I'm bored and the weather sucks outside so here I am. Since my post about trolling wasn't exactly a hit I am going to temporarily relieve my boredom by making a blog today for the subs of the site.
We all notice the trolls. Most people try to avoid them, some ignore them, a lot of mods boot them... Annoying and frustrating but in the end not all that dangerous. Harder to spot and much more of a nuisance are the 'Fake Doms'. Subs, be on your guard cause there are a lot. These men are just assuming a persona in order to widen the potential pool of play partners. If a man is new or just interested in BDSM, then he should say so - it is irresponsible and unsafe to pretend to know what you actually do not.
First, you should know that AGE IS NOT AN INDICATOR. A lot of older men pass themselves off as Doms or Daddies simply because they are older. The assumption being that because they are older they are also more mature, wiser and more knowledgeable.. age however does not automatically grant any of these traits. To some this is obvious, to others... well, not so much.
Second (and this really should be obvious) just because a man says he is a Dom or a Daddy does NOT make it true. Talk is talk. Anyone can claim anything. Watch the behavior. Is he super needy? Does he actually know how the flogger he is "holding" is supposed to be used?? Question what is being said and watch what he does. (FYI - if he claims to know everything about being a Dom, be skeptical!!)
Thirdly, if you are unsure about his 'orders' then say so. I know people who have been physically hurt, because of a 'Dom' who gave them bad orders. Use your best judgement. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. This happens with r/t 'Doms' not just the guys on the site. Do your own research! Being tied up, flogged or tortured are all dangerous activities... the Dom should know what he is about, but you should too. Otherwise, someone could be hurt.
That's enough out of me, just remember that THIS IS NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST. Just use your head. And now I will end with this. Everyone, have fun and be careful, but most of all - Be SAFE!
Just a side note, I have not addressed Dommes in this blog as I don't have much experience among them, though I think the same guidelines I have listed here should transfer over nicely... most of this just seems like common sense to me, but like before if anyone has any feedback.
- Dom Cman
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A Brief (hopefully) Comment on Basic Manners: the Troll edition
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Posted:Apr 13, 2017 11:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 7, 2017 2:29 am
2467 Views
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Ok guys, I am fully aware that this is a sex site and most of us are, if not already horny, then looking forward to some sexy conversations when we log onto the site. I get it. There are, however, certain universal standards that apply to everybody who wants to chat no matter which room you enter. I will try to approach this from a more general stand point and not only as a Dom, that way any trolls reading this can garner some knowledge. Unfortunately, those of you who need this most probably aren't going to read this or care if you do...
First, I don't care what sort of room you enter, stand back - take a look - and get an idea of who the people are around you! It should be pretty easy to tell if someone is already in a scene, in which case it is always rude to comment or join unless at least one of the parties addresses you first... and no, a "Hello ___" or "Welcome to the room ___" does not count as an invitation. Speaking to another room member and saying, "that scene is hot" is one thing but telling the woman she has sexy tits or a nice ass is disruptive and most often unwelcome (comments here have been dumbed down, we have all seen and heard much worse)! Doing it repeatedly only serves to piss off the participants and ruin the mood in the room, which will quite often end up pissing off the rest of the room's members as well. If you happen to be in a BDSM room, you will most likely get a quick idea of the nature of Dom/sub relationships in the room, thereby limiting the number of unwelcome come-ons and ultimately contributing to a fun, relaxed atmosphere.... which leads to my next point...
Second, TALK!! Don't just pop into a room and leave again when you see there aren't enough women or there isn't a scene going on! Don't sit there waiting for a potential play partner either... that is just rude to the people already there. At least say Hello even if you don't stick around and hold a conversation. Getting to know people is a good way to get to know THEIR friends and their friends friends... who knows, you may end up meeting someone really fun! Also, to expand on what I said earlier, you may not always see, or understand, the nature of D/s relationships because each one is unique and individual, tailored and suited for its participants.... you can solve this problem pretty simply... by talking!! I am a Dom and I do not always understand what is going on when I meet new people, so I don't expect anyone else to either... I expect them to be proactive and ask about it before spewing bullshit lines!
Third, know the room you are entering. That means if it is an interest group, read the description and the rules if they have them, not just the title! Since the regular rooms are more relaxed, it is always important to pay attention to the atmosphere in the room!! If the members are in the middle of a casual conversation, it is generally bad form to enter and start pestering the members for sex when they are trying to speak with their friends. It won't get you anywhere but on an ignore list, and it will just irritate everyone around you. You'll have more luck politely joining the conversation, because quite often the topic will roll back around to sex naturally as we are on a sex site!! Also note, that certain topics are welcome in certain rooms but not so much in others... be aware of what is going on. (Certain topics are inappropriate anywhere on the site and will get you booted from rooms and potentially banned from the site!!)
Alright.... that's a good place to stop for now. Feel free to leave comments, thoughts and opinions... Let's try to keep it constructive. This post is not so much a criticism as an attempt to help keep EVERYONE from just leaving the site... I can't have been the only one to post on this subject, but trolls keep running off so many members it is a shame.
- Dom Cman
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To link to this blog (cman5413) use [blog cman5413] in your messages.
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