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LOL!!!
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Posted:Jan 27, 2014 4:39 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
2524 Views
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1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple,the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
2.Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Petticoat, pants, panties, pussy....
No wonder why men suffer from high B P !!!
Vulgar but true so its worth reading...
#...Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself..
Moral: In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.
#...Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
#...What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
#...3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment.
#...Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
#...Practical thought:
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!
Hope the silly joke brighten up yr day
Adult English Jokes
(1)
To make it straight, she pulls it..
To make it stand, she rubs it.
To make it stiff, she licks it.
To put it in, she pushes it.
It's hell of a job threading a needle!
(2)
A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, he wanted his blood back.
The girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said, I'll pay you in monthly installments.'
(3)
Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
'The man next to me is masturbating!'
Bf: 'Ignore him.'
Gf: 'I can't.'
Bf: 'Why not?'
Gf: 'He is using my hand!'
(4)
The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board and asks 'Does anybody know what this is?
Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
The teacher says '2 of them?'
Harry says 'ya! The little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth.'
(5)
4 miracles of a woman
Getting wet without taking a shower
Bleeding without getting hurt
Giving milk without eating grass
Making boneless meat hard.
(6)
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
The answer is 'Vagina Inn'
It accommodates only 1 standing occupant with his 2 baggage left outside.
(7)
Unborn twins saw a penis approaching.
1st: Papa coming, papa coming.
2nd: U fool, it's uncle! Papa never comes with a raincoat!
(
A hubby said to his wife, 'I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it..'
The wife said to husband, 'I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.'
(9)
At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE.
At 25, she is the RIGHT PRICE.
At 35, a GRAND PRIZE.
At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE.
At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and
At 65, a GIVEAWAY PRIZE.
(10)
What did Snow White complain about after having sex with the 7 dwarfs?
Snow White said, 'I would rather have 7 inches at 1 time.
Not 1 inch 7 times.'
(11)
The vagina is the world's best rehabilitation/correction center.
Even the most violent and aggressive penis comes out humbled, head bowed and reduced in size.
(12)
A loving husband had 'I Love You' tattooed on his dick.
When he got home, he showed it to his wife.
She said, 'There u go again, trying to put words in my mouth.'
Laughing is good for your health...
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WALKS INTO A BAR... THREE TESTS
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Posted:Jan 16, 2014 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
2823 Views
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A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."
"What are the three tests?" asks the man
"Gotta pay first."
So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar.
"OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her."
"Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"
The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.
"Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.
He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence.
Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.
"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"
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Watch out for the wall!
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Posted:Jan 15, 2014 11:41 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
2888 Views
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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
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Jokes :)
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Posted:Jan 15, 2014 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
2832 Views
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_______________________________________________________________________
Q: What is the only instrument the Backstreet Boys are good at playing?
A: The male organ.
_______________________________________________________________________
Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought she stopped aging.
_______________________________________________________________________
A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!"
"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."
_______________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
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Joke Of The Day :)
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Posted:Jan 14, 2014 11:47 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
2827 Views
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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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New year new hope!
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Posted:Jan 1, 2014 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
3377 Views
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It's a great start for the new year!
Hope everything is great on your side 
And deep down I know you are worth it
Let's make it a great start to something great
I can see a big YES coming 
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Good bye 2013! Hello 2014!
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Posted:Dec 25, 2013 7:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 25, 2013 7:34 pm
3378 Views
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chtfem
To all here!
May you all have a great year ahead! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Hopefully I can SCORE in the new year!
And you know who you are
Let's make 2014 a great start and a great year for US
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A good Christmas!
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Posted:Dec 25, 2013 4:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
3394 Views
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You finally reply!!!
Told you I won't give up easily unless you tell to
And I can feel there are many possibilities between us
Hope you have a great year ahead, cheers!
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Still waiting...
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Posted:Dec 18, 2013 6:25 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
3414 Views
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Still waiting and I know it's worth it, at least for now,
I don't mind waiting till next year
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How have you been? I missed you so much!
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Posted:Dec 18, 2013 6:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
3425 Views
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Hi Gal,
How have you been so far? We chatted very well last week!
I really enjoyed it so much and I do agree you are indeed a very nice
gal
Hope your flu gets better
Maybe you are busy with work, do remember to take care!
If you are bored or something, do reply me
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The difference between a Love and FB, or there's none?
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Posted:Dec 18, 2013 5:06 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 1:52 pm
3433 Views
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After some searching and browsing,
it's certainly a difference between a Lover and a FB.
Or there's none?
Had a very nice chat with a lady, and
in my opinion, there's no much different. It really depends
on who and what we want and do
A Lover:
1) Someone you dine and drink with
2) Someone you can share or listen to problems with
3) Someone you are comfortable with when doing anything
4) Someone you might introduce to your buddies
A FB:
1) All the above
So someone can tell me the difference in your views?
Just sharing
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To link to this blog (funguy_1691) use [blog funguy_1691] in your messages.
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