KARma....
|
Posted:Mar 2, 2014 4:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
5964 Views
|
"The things that you want, and you don't know how to stop them.... The things that you don't, yet you have to keep doing them....."
I know I shouldn't be doing this 1st, I should be doing THAT 1st... THAT, and THAT alone.... Maybe I could just do this 1st... And this... And that... I ended up with 4 things on my list...? Or is it 5? Talk about priority.....
I'm TIRED. I feel like sleeping; feel like fucking; feel like singing; feel like gaming; feel like watching a movie... I feel like.... Everything...??? Just like how I often would feel... So much I wish to accomplish.... So much I wish to do... What I wish TO BE.... I need to be moving in THAT DIRECTION....?? But... LIKE HOW...??
ROLL A DICE... FOR EVERYTHING...??
I don't even feel like continuing with this blog entry anymore, think I'll just shut up...?? NEXT BETTER THING TO DO PLS!!! NEXT!!!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Blue sky...
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2014 8:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2014 4:16 am
7224 Views
|
Sex. Feel like having it, yet don't feel like going out... Perhaps it's better kept this way...? Surfing and gaming away...?
Instead I wish I'm in a club... Surrounded by attractive girls just to look at... Surrounded by noises... Surrounded by dances...
What if you wish to ask me for more? 
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Tired - Mentally.
|
Posted:Feb 26, 2014 6:19 am
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2014 8:59 am
7067 Views
|
Talk about, doing the wrong things at the wrong time...
Talk about.. Doing the wrong things all (most) of the time.....
I'm not even suppose to be here. I should be showering.
All amount of sleep amounts to nothing. It's the quality, not the quantity. I miss my ability to have good sleep. Like I've abused it, wasted it and now lost it?
I miss all the time I used to have... To do the things I want to do...
I was right and I am wrong.
Doing the things I 'want to do'... And I thought life is all about doing the things 'you want to do'... What if you don't really want to do it? So what if I give it all to you....? Life. Boredom.
I've changed, and I'm still 'changing'... A weird sense of 'sensation' has gotten over me today... My sexual 'awareness' seems to have heightened... And there seems to be suddenly so many 'seductions' today.... Despite the fact that I've been getting plenty, my appetite seems larger than better.... The next level?
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
I thought... I think.... Therefore I am...??
|
Posted:Feb 23, 2014 7:24 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
6910 Views
|
Tired. I cannot remember how many of my blogs started with this word. I thought I can start with another word, but I just put it there for fun...
Really feel like gaming online. I just broke my 1st 'rule of engagement' for returning home... I'm suppose to wash up 1st thing, anything else later... But I did my 2nd 'rule of engagement', and packed my stuff for tomorrow... Anything goes wrong with that can potentially prove to be too high a price....
So what have I been doing so far other than packing my items...? Sipping drink, took a 5 minutes 'eyes closing' meditational break, blogging here.... It's the last which says 'break the rule' tonight (which is highly not recommended).
I think I'm not playing game tonight, though urges of doing so is like waves hitting me... On and off... I thought I could use a real good sleep. 1stly, I think I'm too tired for gaming. 2ndly, the thought of me starting the game and going on for hours till it's almost day break (like it usually does..) haunts me....
I'm supposed to be doing my house chores this afternoon... Room not cleaned, clothes not washed... I sat and closed my eyes... Not before long I dozed up, woke up and had to rush for my next appointment... Life is really....
Should I say upsetting at times...?
I think I've been too nice to myself... Where is self-control..? Self-discipline....?
I won't say everything is going exactly smoothly for me at this point of time, but perhaps I really shouldn't be complaining...? I've seen worse... Much worse.... Next week is gonna be a busy week?
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Outcast
|
Posted:Feb 20, 2014 3:21 am
Last Updated:Feb 23, 2014 7:30 am
6993 Views
|
Nasi lemak. Here I am sitting, eating one of my favorite nasi lemak....
I don't know what is happening today? Although nothing unusual seems to be happening...
I'm not at my run. Instead I'm eating. Nice weather. But I decided to do something else instead.
I've been sleeping around 3 hours on the average for the past few nights again.. When I'm not supposed to. When I'm supposed to be changing for the better. Better....?
Life seems to be diving in a weird direction... Everything I'd always not wanted to do.... To be.... In a way? How come.... Though from time to time I seems to be enjoying it, yet doesn't seems to be what I want...
I need....?
I like to chat with people... Like to draw.... Like to sing... Like to... No time. Life seems locked up in a small box.
On one hand I seems to have everything under control, growing well, powerful, perhaps the envy of some... On the other hand I have little time to do what I really want to do, instead so fantastically handling and dealing with what I HAVE TO....
I've got to break down everything? Then... Pick up the pieces again....? I've got to regain my life, then gain control again....?
Doesn't know what you want....
Can't go for late night movie tonight... I've got to sleep.... EARLY. No game. No video clips. Nobody....?
Life seems to be drifting further and further away......
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
On, off, on trend.. Be a useless guy?
|
Posted:Feb 12, 2014 8:24 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2014 6:10 am
7678 Views
|
Shh... I'm not suppose to be here. I'm suppose to be in my bed by 11am. IDEALLY already in my bed by 9PM.
I didn't sleep again last night... Only shortly after I'd landed back in Singapore, I spent the WHOLE night GAMING away....
HATE IT? Starting work tomorrow...?
Today. Pretty much didn't do anything.. Watched a few clips and online movies. At least I had my lunch? Well, wasn't to those places I thought I might have gone, instead was just downstairs at the coffeeshop.. But the noodles were good. Been a while since I last ate them. So I suppose it was a good and simple choice....?
Didn't catch any of the movies I wanted to watch. Didn't do spring cleaning of the house (I would like to declare this Saturday a SPRING CLEANING DAY!). Didn't reply the important e-mail as asked by my friend. (I logged in and couldn't find the mail, messaged my friend and she said she haven't send it - And she was rushing me to read and reply it...??
-_-'~ )
Tomorrow is my running day. I wish to run as I didn't run while I was overseas (I was geared but I was down with flu and only managed ONCE - which proved to be a 'fatal' one).
I didn't sleep early last night... In fact I didn't sleep at all!!! ~Pissed with myself!~
The type of girl that I like... That look, figure and behaviour... Is it happening again...?
I've thought it over. I want to be HAPPY. Or AT LEAST HAPPIER. This is ME. A PART of ME which I DESERVE to HAVE... (SHIT, think I said the same thing before and it didn't happen....) I want MORE BALANCE into this AREA..
I want to do 'multiples'... Improvements and all....
I think I didn't manage to walk out of that circle yet...?
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
ONE night. Two DAYS...
|
Posted:Jan 26, 2014 8:44 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2014 6:11 am
8851 Views
|
TIRED still. Despite I was napping for hours at my mum's place earlier, I'm still pretty tired and sleepy.. Oh, wait. Perhaps that's because I didn't quite sleep again last night...?? 
Don't feel like 'shooting' online now. I think it's more because of the fact that I was having abundant 'shootings' these days than because I'm tired.... That's why I also figured it'll be better for me to be with my PC in here instead...?
Chinese NEW Year. WISHES to CLEAN up the HOUSE inside out... But have been too busy, too tired, okay... Excuses... Shall do it after CNY... Oops, another excuse... 
2 more days before flying off for a vacation, REALLY sort of LOOKING FORWARD to IT.... 
INTERESTINGLY enough, dad's condition seems to be getting so much better...? At least for now...?
Another overseas trip in months, but it's official.. I remember how I'd always made official trips OFFICIAL. i.e. Fly off -> Get my business done and fly back... This time round I'm making a CHANGE.. I'll be LOOKING FORWARD to my DISNEY's DAYS...
Getting more and more sleepy... 
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Happiness is....
|
Posted:Jan 22, 2014 9:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
8469 Views
|
Woke up hungry... There are just so many things I wish to do, there just won't be enough time since I've only a half day left....?
I thought I be going on my 3rd day without sleep, but I was wrong. I remember I used to be a very 'free' man not bound by anything (after having myself profiled a few times I finally started to know why some time back...), during my NS days I started to cultivate 'discipline' and later on 'self-discipline' at an even later stage of my life.... I started to 'enjoy' it. Anyway, coming back... Now that I'm a very much more 'self-disciplined' man, a lot of times I just find myself giving up on 'happiness'... Accepting that it is mainly more for others and so what if it's not for me.... Don't get me wrong, I still wish to make myself happy from time to time, it's just that I feel it's not really something I can't live without... Especially when it comes to work...
My overseas vacation is coming soon and I think that causes my holidays mood to kick it... A little 'escape', occasional chills... For now I think I can be quite an easily contented man...? Though I don't think I spend money the way like many of the others around me do, I still can be a 'spendthrift' working on 'impulses spree' on and off.... No good? I don't know... My 'self-disciplined' part of me is still trying to keep it in balance....
This morning I woke up applying a last minute leave. I thought I wish to treat myself better for a change... I thought I deserve a break... I think I deserve a good rest... More time to my own.... 'Discipline' can be set aside for now.
I know what I want to do today (somehow?), just that I might not have enough time...?
Have not been running for a while.... Feel like running but if I am to do most if not all of the things I wish to do for today, I would not have enough time for that....? Keep an open mind....
Tick tock.... I wish my mind is moving towards 'happiness' and more of the things that come with it.... I wish I can be more focused at work (my boss is an idiot wastes my time and resources...).
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Wet Dream. No Connection.
|
Posted:Jan 10, 2014 8:38 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
9357 Views
|
Think my sexual needs have really gone by lately... Had a wet dream about a close colleague, and in my dream she was most willing... Funny. In actual life we're pretty close and I even know her husband who is happily married with her. And I don't even like fantasize about her... I mean I had ever thought about how it might have been and how she could have been thinking about it, but that was just too many many years back....
As expected, I dozed off again last night. When I'm very tired, I should NEVER just 'lie down for a while'.. Woke up with PC and lights still on. And it was actually almost noon...? Very late. I've not done the series of arrays I'm suppose to run this morning and I'm getting late for work.. Can you imagine I can still spend like an hour doing DIY?? Well, at least it was a good CUM....?? And don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm deprived of sex or something... In fact I think I've been having too plenty lately. Like I've said, must be my appetite getting bigger? Now I'll just need to wash up and perhaps re-plan my schedule or think of whatever ways I can do to salvage the situation....?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Bad / bad bad.
|
Posted:Jan 9, 2014 8:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2014 9:47 am
10036 Views
|
I thought I would just head for the bed and sleep early... I thought wrong.....
I've always been washing my hair late. After too many things... End up waiting for it to dry and sleeping late.... I thought wrong. Yesterday I made it a point to wash up very early. A point which I soon got to see... It's not the wet hair which matters... Well, usually not...? It's me.
I think I'm broken. Can't remember since when.... At a point of time I even believe that I've been broken ever since I was born... Well.. Maybe not...? I heard I've got quite some childhood.. I was very attractive as a baby, infant, very young .. I guess I just got irritating over time... I guess that's just me...?
Sex just seems boring these days... Looking beyond it... Yet wait. I've got so many other things to do...? Like.. Breathing...? I think I can feel my heart beat....?
?
Think I'm a piece of arts. And if I'm a piece of arts, think I'm a broken piece of it...
I want to be myself... I want to be my inspiration...
I think I miss my gun.... Bang?
Bang! Bang! Hey you.. BANG!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Why Me....?
|
Posted:Jan 9, 2014 6:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
9472 Views
|
Mind readers... Hooked... Why give what they want....?
Soon life gets so boring....
I wish to drop everything and focus one 1 or 2 things... Then STRIVE...
I wish to drop everything, start from 'ZERO' again....
I wish to 'let go', too tiring... Need to think and start all over again.....
I hope one day I would accept and embrace who I am....
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Next...
|
Posted:Jan 7, 2014 5:11 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
9488 Views
|
So tired was I last night that I thought if I had just to place my still wet head against my pillow on the bed the slightest bit, I'm going to doze off... I was right.... It happened. I dozed off. Good thing is I managed to wake up in about an hour later....
It's happening... I CAN SENSE it... Somehow I can 'feel' another wave of transformations coming over me... But it just doesn't seems all that simple... There is more... I'll need to open my arms (actually more than that... ) to grab it.... Perceive, EMBRACE and ABSORB it... So as to integrate it FULLY into ME....
Slow me down to pace me up... Pace me up and I'll go 'faster'... And faster....
What am I...? What are 'we'....?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Lost. Tons of tons.....
|
Posted:Jan 6, 2014 6:51 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:53 pm
9706 Views
|
I thought I would not start up my PC today.. I thought instead I would / should go straight for my 'shooting' online... Does not happen....
I thought of many things... Too things as usual went into my head. But wait. Blogging is about enjoying, it's not about productivity and efficiency... Well, at least not exactly? Same I thought about the things I wish / want to do and the things I NEED to do once again... Wait. Things I wish to do shouldn't they be the things I enjoy doing?? Question. Then what is more important? How many of the things I wish to do have I done or the quality time I spent doing them...? And if I've not exactly enjoyed doing them as much as I'd loved to, then why am I doing them in the 1st place...?? Live for the moment. Do it 'eat what you want' style... Just do what I wish to do, whatever comes to my mind.... As long as it's within reasonable means(?) to do...?
I've always wish I'm MORE FREE... So that I can have ALL THE TIME I want to REALLY do the things I wish to... WISH I have MORE WEEKENDS with MORE TIME of MY OWN... Not happening this way.... Instead I find myself with a flooded bathroom, air-con yet to be serviced (not like I'm actually using it anyway...?), books I wish to read, skills I wish to pick up, things I wish to be cleared and discarded, areas I wish to be thoroughly cleaned.... I thought I wish I can have ONE SOLID DAY to REALLY run these errands.. Or perhaps I really shouldn't insist on getting them done on the same day? How about breaking them into various aspects...? One thing at a time...? Running it slow and easy..? Well, at least they will be happening...? Rather than always trying to find time to fill in EVERYTHING, only to be disappointed when I simply can't fork out that kind of time....?
I know I'm EFFICIENT, WELL in PLANNING and PRODUCES OUTCOMES of SATISFACTION... But somehow I'm beginning to seriously think that doing the things you enjoy doing is nothing like that.....
Although there wasn't really blogging some really long time back, I remember how I used to think a lot and put down my thoughts in books... And occasionally I would happen to run over my books again only to be amazed by how I can think....
I wish I would just on the air-con(?) and go to sleep after this blogging.... But my hair is still wet... Guess I'll probably go gaming again while waiting for my hair to dry.... Probably end up sleeping very late...? I think the rare occasions I sleep earlier are often the times when I was too tired and just dozed off on my bed.... Yes. Even I myself sometimes think I'm too hard on myself... On my body and brain....
Too tired.... I actually torn my facial mask just now. And I applied my facial foam over my head.... I remember some time I actually used my toner as a contact lens solution.... Ever since then I never ever dare put the two solutions close together.... In fact my contact lens solution is always by itself now.... My dad is in ICU now and work is laggish... Think I might be sinking down with time....?
I was home just now and felt alone. I thought I knew this is gonna happen.... I never really knew how to spend my time with my now deceased rabbit, the other room is not rent out (yet).... How I'd failed to spend quality time with my rabbit have thought me that life can be short and time precious... You'll never know when times might just be over and whatever you 're-think' just won't help the situation.... My dad (a chronic smoker)has taught me that being responsible for your decision doesn't just mean living with it, but also to truly be FACING IT.... EXPERIMENTING IT.....
I'm tired. My hair is wet.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rm_DevilCharmZ) use [blog rm_DevilCharmZ] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
231
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
