Wrongdoings....
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Posted:Sep 27, 2013 8:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10611 Views
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Amazingly, think for the past 1 week I've only had a single 'shot' (gaming online.....) Don't really have much of any strong crave for it like previously...
Miss KTV singing... 
I've not been thinking straight recently.. My mind and thinkings seem distorted.. But I realized that I'm very adapted to the chaotic world... Which is.. In a way.... What the world is very often, very much like now in my opinion.....
I thought I've been doing too many wrong things... Then again it's hard to define right and wrong these days..... One many's poison, another man's meat.... Sometimes I wish I'm more 'normal'... More simple....? Then again, maybe not....?
Some things I've realized about sexual relationship lately.... Nothing technical. Some ladies might wish for time just to spend together... Nothing sexual. I don't mind if I've got the time to fork out, but admittedly I can't keep that up on a regular basis.... However, been going through 'short sex' lately... (my personal presence is long sex and I was told most women won't like that, though they won't tell) And had been having plenty of time and mood for things like chatting and cuddling instead.... Which intestingly enough, is something which I've not been doing....
I also realized that sometimes sex might not be one of the best or greatest... But to be having sex with (or more like to have met?) someone really interesting can be a really nice experience in itself....
Verdict: Value of sex going down? Company with interesting and attractive people is more important. Having an interesting life... 
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Another 'Black' day.....
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 8:42 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
11019 Views
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Half exhausted......
Was playing some simply 'stupid' games instead of showers... A little 'addiction'... I thought somehow it was stupid and somehow I would be at least regretting it a little... No matter.....
Shower has taken place very late, once again waiting for the hair to dry... Worn out.
(How I wish I could just hit the bed and sleep like this....)
Slept at around 4am last night. Woke up around 6ish this morning... Another 2 hours of sleep or so... Not a healthy direction.... Moving towards old habits.... Die hard?
Many thoughts but quickly lost and broken up... That's how tired I am....
I thought of 'shooting' again... Going straight for 'shooting'... But seems like most likely it's not gonna happen again.... Getting late... Getting tired....
Sex... Life... Too many things which I thought I've gotten really good at..... Not even half happening. The moments of truth... Yes, I'm good at certain things..... But the rest of them are probably my own 'made beliefs'.... Just like so many other people who does it.... No matter. I'll be getting there..
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Can't have too much of it....
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Posted:Sep 24, 2013 9:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10953 Views
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Sleep. I thought yesterday was consider 'early' for my standard..? I thought of shooting but went to bed like 12plus (which is EARLY for me).. Woke up around 7am this morning (privilege, not entitlement) feeling still PRETTY TIRED... (More of tired than pretty) Was hoping I'll get to shoot tonight... Was also thinking I won't be logging into my computer but shooting directly instead.... (but I'm still here...)
It's HAPPENING to me AGAIN... The 'RUSH'... This URGE to GROW and UPGRADE... It's like building up INSIDE of me....
SEX. YES, I'm thinking about it. GOOD SEX that is? Think I might be holding it off for a while more..? 1. I'm too busy with work and life. 2. I thought it'll probably feel better when the urge kicks in...? 
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DEEPER...
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Posted:Sep 22, 2013 9:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
11461 Views
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Finally in after all great efforts.. Was having problem booting up my 'all in one' PC... Must have been the accidental illegal shutdown I've caused it the other time....? Just when I thought I have finally given up and tried to login using my iPad instead, it decided to boot up somehow... Then yet having problem properly loading the site...? -_-'~
Have you sometimes think of a lot which you wish to blog about only to go into a blank when you're finally here in Local Sexy Swingers...?? I do... Nowadays I often just try to tell myself, HECK IT... Just DROP whatever comes to my mind...
Been a while since I fired a single bullet... (And no, I'm not talking about my 'sexual load'... I'm talking about GAMING if you still haven't know me well enough..?  ) My mind is working on 'multiple lanes' again tonight... I wish to shoot, but it's still not a need yet... Just thought it'll be nice if I can... For now...?
BOTH sides of the COIN... On one side it is just ONE.... On the other multiple... Either side you just go DEEPER and DEEPER.... If you can't make up your mind, it'll just TEAR YOU APART.... But people... People's nature.... There're reasons why some people are just who they are.... Not really about right or wrong... Just TENDENCY... If you KNOW and you THINK about it, it'll all make SENSE... And why I'm born with a Devil's smile....
SLOWLY you might not even recognise yourself...
I'm WET... Still ALL WET is my hair... ONCE AGAIN a VERY LATE NIGHT SHOWER...
BIG PLANS should be coming up... Half the PLAN has FAILED.. Not to worry, I still have the other HALF to work with....
I HATE WORK.. Why is it that it seems I'm the ONLY person CAPABLE of DOING THE JOB RIGHT and doing the JOB WELL...?? And in the end I'm not even the one getting the credits I DESERVE....
I need a BREAK... LONG ONE, short ones... Doesn't matter... I'm looking forward to my LONG ONE (which is really TOO FAR away for now..) but I'm always 'dying' for short ones... Puff puff....
I just RECONFIRMED and REALIZED something lately... If there's something I REALLY HATE about a woman, it's not UGLINESS (though I really have an eye for beautiful women...), it's NOT FAT.... IT'S ATTITUDE... I SIMPLY couldn't stand ATTITUDE.... And I also realized that most of the ladies I still hang out with are the ones with better attitudes... I don't mind just chat and no sex.. I don't even mind paying for them... But HECK, SAVE ME THAT ATTITUDE... It's also the reason why I'm no longer trying that hard in hooking up these days... 1. I simply can't stand shit attitude 2. Most of the time it's not like they're even worth my time least to say adding that 'attitude' in it....
The TRUTH... These days I think I'm seeing more of it... My decisions are already letting me see my preference... Like what I really want in life and such... Though of course I can't deny who I am....
My final question of the night... Should I wait a little longer for my hair to dry and sleep or should I just fucking go online and 'load up'...??
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Twelve.....
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Posted:Sep 21, 2013 10:22 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
11293 Views
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Thought I would be shooting tonight... On 2nd thought not...
The room don't feel any much colder after a while, think it's time for the air-con to be serviced....?
12... Hours... I slept 12 hours yesterday. One of the longest I've ever had in months... I sleep around 3 hours a night on the average, and I sleep slightly longer on weekends... But nowhere close to 12 though...?
Usually I would feel especially awake if I sleep more than 3 hours and would tend to not sleep for the subsequent night.. It's not happening tonight... Though I'm no longer as tired as I thought I still was after my shower, don't think I'm staying up too late... Recently have always been trying to sleep before 2am... (The optimal hour...) Though I would have to admit I've not been all that successful in keeping up with it, at least I'm trying...?
Had buffet, very full still now...
Life is very strange.....
Sleep...
Came across this person who mentioned something like... "Sleeping is for dead people..." I used to think that way... That the day I die and rest, I shall sleep for eternity... So perhaps not yet today?
But today I'm realizing many things and thinking otherwise...
I want to look better. So I thought it'll be better if I sleep enough.... I want to feel better.... Think better.... Rest to walk a longer distance...?
If I truly have enough and wake up early enough tomorrow... I'll go online and shoot...
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The POWERFUL NIGHT - F1
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Posted:Sep 19, 2013 10:10 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10893 Views
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Despite it's F1, I was never really affiliated... It's Mooncake festival for me instead... Hanging out with my family members and playing lanterns together...
I wanna write, write, write....
Despite the fact that my heart wishes to go online to kick and shoot some asses, my mind says no... Too late... Too tired.. Would be too tiring... Would end up too bloody late... So I ended up planning 'blogging' as one of my last items to do tonight instead.. Been a long while since I went to the other shooting fields (play other games)...
Had been a very busy day. Team - end up me doing everything on my own again. A little bloody *&*(&(^ bullshit, but guess I'm the only one capable and crazy enough to do that. Whole line of things which I'll need to do when I reached home earlier today.. Improvise and change... That's what I always do. Chunk away the things which you ain't really in a hurry to do and think of ways to handle them otherwise... Save time... My mind is focused. Very focus. Very sharp. Just like a scope.....
Evil never dies...
Sex has taken to another level... A new level of understanding, a different level of thoughts... LIBERATED. UNPREDICTABLE?
At this moment I would like to look for a woman to tease, play and make all WET... I don't wish to start telling you how good I am, blah blah blah.... If you're interested, find out for yourself.
CRAVINGs.... Girls BEWARE. GO CRAZY... 
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A series of fortunate events...
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Posted:Sep 17, 2013 9:39 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10699 Views
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Good things and bad things... 'Fortunate'. Yesterday has just ended. Lessons that made me learnt and re-think my life....
Things that could have been avoided.... Birthday - the day we were born. The day we were born when we knew no sin... Though we committed them. Then living in this world, slowly we're no longer pure.... We breathe the air of this world... We live in it... Slowly becomes it... Talk like it... Walk like it... Eat like it... Sleep like it.. Slowly becoming like everybody else....
And that is 'growing up'. To be 'monsters' we're suppose to become?
We learn to become more powerful. In control of ourselves... Of other people... But wait... Are we really... In control of ourselves...? I wonder....? What about seriously becoming a 'better' man? A more caring person...? Wait... Does that even count...??
My INSTINCTS.... Intuitions... Have too often been right... Every time I chose to ignore those 'facts' I just put myself into the risk of facing the music... Every time I look at them, often they tell me a different story...
Do I really wish to know?
Sometimes knowing too much is not equivalent to saving your ass... A lot of times just give you more concerns, worries and troubles...
A day, with a series of 'fortunate' events... Made me look. Made me wonder... What I could have always wanted have always been in my hands... I know how to get them. I know exactly what can really make my day... Make me happy... LEARN... Good things and bad things... Coming together... A new pattern..... A new lesson....
Makes me re-think the things I've been doing... What's real...? What's what I want... What's what I need to do because some others wish to have it....?
Sleep and rest early tonight. Correction. Sleep and rest earlier tonight...
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What you get...
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Posted:Sep 16, 2013 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10446 Views
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I thought I'm a stupid guy.... Doesn't learn... Never learn... But coming to think of it again, perhaps I'm wrong..? This might all very well be a good balance...? Taking a bit of venture and risk no matter what happened... Constantly reviewing and thinking over things at the same time....
I met a lousy gal. She turned out to be a . A very sucky one even at that... Real attitude issue... She made me re-think the things I'd thought of before... It's a good thing I'd decided to meet this someone new online on another day instead of my birthday, otherwise she'll be a total spoiler.... Anyway, not talking more about her for now. Let's see how things go, perhaps I'll deal with her another day... If you insist to step on my toe on purpose... Be prepared to watch it...
Time flies really fast today.... (and here I am wasting my time in the toilet shitting ) There're a couple of things I wish to do.... And there're a couple of things I'll need to do..... And I've got less than 2 hours before I need to get out of the house? Better be safe (on time) than sorry for this lunch appointment....
What gives... What takes... Sometimes you think about what you lose in life... Other times you think about what you gain.... But what are you really gaining or losing....? What kind of 'gains' get appreciated....? What about the things which are not....? What are we really after in life...? Where are we going towards.... What are we becoming....? Why are we lost.....? 'Intelligent' people getting way out of their league.... Wait.... How about smart and established people who are no longer 'people' (human)....? What are you paying with.....? What if it is yourself....? Would it still be worth it.....?
A short day getting shorter.... Many thoughts.... Little time.
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BIG day. BD.
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Posted:Sep 15, 2013 11:42 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2013 12:19 pm
10136 Views
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Late. Very late.
16th September 2013. It's late... Very late...
I cannot remember for how many days I had been trying to sleep very much earlier and within time restriction... Tonight is not one of the nights..... Not suppose to be sleeping late because need to be working tomorrow.. Not suppose to be sleeping late because it's gonna be a 'long' day....
The BIG day is coming. It's not today but planning has already started... No celebration as usual... More like thoughts flowing through.... With bits of what people would like to do for me... Keeping it simple of course?
Sex. Hungry? Not sure... More like wanting? Made a date for later today, but if it doesn't turn out as expected, there's always a backup plan to meet someone else the next day. Sex is coming to another breakthrough in understanding and experience.... More like a re-discovery maybe? Live it!
No guns tonight.... Definitely don't think so....
Future, future, where are you...? And how would you be like...? I'm an unpredictable guy.... Highly...
When was the last time you shaved? (if ya do that is...?? ) I can't remember when was the last time I trimmed... But now it's TODAY!! Got to know this lady whom I'm suppose to meet and she is like REALLY LOVE BUSHY guy.... But don't know where she has gone to since... Think maybe it was my last joke which was a bit over? Probably gone for the other guy after...? The guy who is normal size but at least shown her his dick over the cam...?? Well... To make things EASIER for 'you', pls just pretend that I have a small dick... That's IT!! You made me realised TWO things... 1. I'm NOT a 'BUSHY' guy!! I might have been a little lazy at times and did not keep up with my trimmings as regularly... But I'm definitely not 'bushy'... Sorry.... 2. I AM WHO I AM!! I'm NOT 'bushy' and you either ACCEPT me as WHO I AM and that's that OR I can't be helping you already... (though initially I had really wanted to satisfy all your 'wishes' and 'desires'...) SORRY....
Sometimes you spend your whole life looking for something but you couldn't find it... Yet you hold something which people might be looking for in the whole of their life but you couldn't see.....
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Complicated Simplicity.
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Posted:Sep 14, 2013 8:43 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2013 9:07 am
11351 Views
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A friend asked me the other day how am I going to celebrate my birthday.... I told her the truth. That I often keep my birthday simple, and simply doing the things I wish to do... Stay happy... And that's about it. I usually avoid hassle celebrations.. I often politely reject offers to 'celebrate' my birthday.
I thought I'm a man who love simplicity... Maybe? Or maybe I'm not? I think I might have loved complexicity at least equally... If not more? Not sure... One thing I'm sure though is that I'm often a complicated man... And like I used to say, I'm a simple man to begin with... A simple man with a not so simple life which have made me so much more complicated... Now I'm not sure about that part too...? Am I simply born a complicated man or made a complicated man?
One thing is for sure... I'm often too complicated. For my birthday, I would like to take a break. Do something different and relaxing... Something simple.
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Her Blog....
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Posted:Sep 12, 2013 7:36 am
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2015 4:56 am
10126 Views
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Men have long been portrayed as heartless creatures... Creatures who cheat.... Lie... Toy with women's feelings.. But this notion has long been overruled by women...
I'm hardly a man of much feelings most of the time, and am I glad for that.... Many people have said it right about me. These days I rarely let emotions and feelings get into me.... I can still remember too many years back when I was still one who was able to love and give so much... Women complain that men no longer know how to love them that deep, that affectionate and passionate. What they do not understand is often they 'killed' those men....
Even with my heart toughen I occasionally cannot make the difference... Sometimes I still wanna believe no matter how I know how wrong I might be.... I still wish to trust... Wish to love... Foolishly... Just glad that I was in a different mode... No matter what... Still sober nonetheless....
Just what I thought they were such nice ladies... Gfs... Their blogs and posts betrayed them. I think they wished to be known for who they are... Who they really are.... Some people just couldn't let go after a relationship... I'm not one of them. I was taking things pretty well by then.... Sometimes very well.... But I did not 'let go' totally... I was curious... So I 'stay on'.....
As days went by I was seeing a lot of things... A lot which was unexplained. Might never have been able to... I see 'lies'... How I was used... How stupid I might have been if I really 'cared' too much for them... How they could have made use of me... My 'vulnerability'... What 'nonsenses' they had claimed... 'Excuses' they had made for themselves to cover their own track and lies....
Am I glad I was a heartless guy who didn't quite completely taken their words for it.... So in the end everything was pretty much neutral..? Well... Maybe I lost a little more... But who cares yup? So long as they're out of my life and I know it was for the very much better of things... Come to think of it, I thought I don't really even like them that much....?? Oh well... I've gotten what I want.... Think they got what they wanted too? So we're all pretty much even...??
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Sleep. Day & Night.
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Posted:Sep 10, 2013 7:29 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
9976 Views
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Thought of having sex, but nothing happened... Too tired... No arrangement.. Went for a movie instead.. Struggled to stay awake in the cinema....
So tired. Falling sick has made me slept for day and night... Not surprising coming to think about all of it... How I actually fallen so drastically sick last night despite having taken medication... And continues to be so tired even after so much rest... I've never been having enough rest and sleep. This is the opportunity for my body to be telling me that. How unfairly I have been treating it.... I'm just glad that I didn't pushed myself to work today....
Couldn't wake up. Not sure about my body, but my state of mind is still not here.... It seems there're still so many things waiting for me... But I just couldn't gather myself... Gather my thoughts... Not like I want to?
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What day is today....?
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Posted:Sep 9, 2013 9:13 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 11:28 pm
10058 Views
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Morning. I saw this lady up the stairs lobby.... She was wearing a pair of shorts... Very loose shorts... Nice legs... Nice figure... I thought she has very nice ass.... Very tempted to touch her... But of course I didn't....
The lift. After work at the MRT station. She walked into the lift I was in... Pretty, attractive, in a way sexy...? Back against me.. Too bad I didn't get to see much more of her.....
People these days... Disappointing. Inconsiderably so...
Saw a lady trying to get down the train... Asking politely to be given way... A guy on his phone game turned around... Looked at her... Ignored her and continued with his game.... This sort of thing had happened to me countless of times too... Sometimes I really felt like punching them... I remember there was this once where this guy did the same thing and I had to forced my way through out to get down the station... He deliberately pushed me away while I was trying to get through... I REALLY FELT LIKE PUNCHING HIM.... You FUCKING DO NOT wanna give way and have to do such a FUCKING STUPID and RUDE thing when people have to force their way through... WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU REALLY ARE...??
Queue for train. These really old folks in front of me, lined up by the doors... A couple of young chaps (not so young like kiddos) just walked up to the door and totally ignored the rest of the people already waiting there... Walked in and ignored the old folks when train arrived....
Falling sick. Challenged by colleague that I won't be going to work tomorrow. I insisted that I'll be there. Now it seems my condition might be deteriorating even though I've taken my medication...
I can't afford to fall sick....? Have too many important things coming up... Worst if I fall sick on my birthday...?
I thought I went to bed very early yesterday? It was all a great mistake... Was very tired. Showered and my hair had not completely dried. Went to sleep with the air-con. Next day was a very bad headache.... SMART ASS....
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