Disappear.
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Posted:Aug 2, 2013 10:39 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2013 7:46 am
9518 Views
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I thought I be sad that you be gone....
The scary truth and moments are....
"I thought I was really hurting, but I really couldn't feel a thing..."
"That I finally came over my self-denial stage and come to the acceptance that you're really not worth it at all...."
"That I can get over things so much faster than I thought...."
"That life still goes on, except perhaps even better without you... That I can still enjoy wonderful and great sex...."
Funny. As much as I thought it was an amazing thing to have met you, I really just regret ever knowing you...
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Run. Free.
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Posted:Aug 1, 2013 8:18 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
8443 Views
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Been a while... since my last run? Can't be running due to some incident... Back on 'track' today.... Really not bad.... After such a long stop... Think it's probably due to the 'adequate' amount of sleep I had last night... ALMOST a COMPLETE 6 HOURS!! MIND YOU! It might not seems a lot for you but for me a 6 hours' sleep on a weekday is like a RECORD in MONTHS!! Can see how much not having / having enough sleep affects my run... 
But too bad I forgot my socks. Having abrasion now!! 
Think my sex drive is on the RISE...?? DAMN!!!
HATE UNAPPRECIATIVE PEOPLE WHO DISAPPOINT ME. NOT TREASURE ME. DON'T DESERVE A CHANCE. GET LOST. OUT OF MY LIFE.... !!!
I AM WHO I AM AND I'M LOVING IT!
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In That moment..... 5 mins.
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Posted:Jul 31, 2013 9:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2013 10:43 am
9454 Views
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Recovery track? Don't feel like.... Gaming tonight, too tired. Don't feel like chatting tonight, no mood.
A great deal of one's life is thought to be built on endless years of diligence... Yet I realized it's also those moments.. Often 5 minutes or less which might seal your fate... Twist your life.. Catch you unprepared. A moment of anger... A moment of hesitation... A seemingly harmless simple decision... A moment of foolishness. We learn from our lives, though often we don't.....
I be glad I be running again... Been too long. Picking up the momentum at work too.... Life has been too dramatic lately.
I'm beginning to get more and more of how people look at me... It's like sneaking through a special glass panel. Beginning to realize exactly how different I am and how important I can become... How I look... How good I really am in sex... What I really want in life.... And living it... Living IT.
But one thing I really don't understand, Why do people always not treasure me?
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CONTroL.....
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Posted:Jul 27, 2013 12:47 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
8382 Views
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Life... Is one really a master of his own fate or just a puppet in heaven's eyes...?
I know I was hurting inside yet I couldn't feel a thing... It used to make me 'feel bad' as I thought it's a terrible thing for one to not be able to feel like that... It's not the 1st time, this won't be the last. It just asserts my belief that I'm a person mostly without much feeling today... Except occasionally when I allow myself to... The constant effort to 'feel' is tiring and unnatural... I'll just have to accept the creature I've come to be today... And to make things worse, I've 'recovered' from 'sadness' so fast... Too fast...
Life is changing, I'm not who I used to be... Not doing the things I used to do... Is it really a good or a bad thing? Or is there really no good or bad?
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Dear Aunt Agony....
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Posted:Jul 25, 2013 8:33 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2013 12:38 pm
9599 Views
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I've been having weird thoughts lately...
To begin with, I thought of applying leave to go for a 'trip'... A vacation. But this 'vacation' of mine does not involve the usual going overseas protocol... Instead I thought of just spending a few days at home, away from work and be gaming exclusively for days....
Another weird thought of mine is more like an impulse. That is sometimes I would have this sudden impulse to just get an air ticket to ANYwhere I've not been to. Call my office to apply last min leave. With minimum luggage, just land there and wander around.... (maybe with some cold wear just in case...?)
Other times I would think I really need sex... Only to end up most of the time not having it but feeling really OkAy. Now I can't help but to think perhaps it's not really sex I wanted, but the boredom I couldn't bear....
Last but not least, I'm glad I bought this computer at the IT fair lately (pretty cheap actually.. Maybe it's because computers are getting so much less popular these days...?) I was afraid I might not have really needed it and it might turn out to be a white elephant (as I'm mostly on iPad). Boy, am I glad I was wrong... Because it's windows-based, it allows me to run some of the programs I can't run on my iPad. Plus it is now integrated with this new APPs look (which I at 1st thought nothing of) which not only make it look really cool, but truly allows me to multi-task at one look and really look into things I wish to do.... Clearly e-mails and running between programs / apps like crazy... Think I saw this on a phone before but I couldn't remember which model? Anyway I still like this on the big screen... I bought an 'all in one' which is basically a monitor without the unit. I figured I don't really need a laptop as my iPad can already do the job... Plus not sure exactly why but somehow I feel a lot more safe to be dozing off on my iPad than a laptop...? (Ya, I have now acquired a bad habit of often sleeping at night only when I really can't take it and doze off...) Oh ya, it also now means I can do my office work at home with much more ease if I want to? I love the BIG screen which can allow me to watch movies with good enough sound effects....
I also thought at 1st that the difference of my bed to the computer might be too far... But it turned out better that now I'll have to force myself to sit upright and maintain a healthy distance from the screen.... 
Last but not least, it has a nice feature at the bottom of the corner which allows me to see my time while I work on things.... 
Disclaimer. DevilCharmz is no IT professional. Choice to believe in his IT advices is at your sole discrete and cannot be used against him in a legal proceed. Asking him for sexual advices HOWEVER is a different thing altogether.....
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The Best of Local Sexy Swingers....
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Posted:Jul 25, 2013 8:54 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2013 12:51 pm
9494 Views
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Somehow I find this place no longer the way it used to be.... And the best of it (to me it seems at least) are for blogging and at most chatting...
I can't help but to think gaming is really a much more enjoyable option? 
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Starring 'Change' - The only constant....
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Posted:Jul 20, 2013 9:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2013 12:52 pm
9388 Views
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Change. Nowadays popularly known as to be the only constant... So do we really should just accept it as it is... Always will be....? Almost blindly....? Do you know what is changing...? Do you know what is changing you...? If so, what are you to do about it...?
I've seen too many people talk about accepting changes, only to be met with fear or reluctant themselves... Soon 'change' became just another excuse for too many... Like so many other potentially useful tools, often abused or inappropriately used....
I'm changing. I didn't just 'turn into something else' like I thought I might had... Experience tells me that things often just don't work that way... Not like for the most of them at least....? Just think of evolutions and you'll probably see a better picture...? A magician doesn't just do a magic, it takes practice after practices... Probably works the same way for a wizard....
I realized that I've changed... Bits of me turned into something else... They say you reap what you sow... How true? Evolution has changed humans, and it'll continue to.... Though maybe not exactly the same way....? It took me lots of courage just to recognise and accept who I am.... Learning and re-learning of things... Took 'acceptance', 'enlightenment', 'realizations'.... Forming, breaking and forming again...
Can't wait to meet myself 'tomorrow'? 
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Tired. Most of the time?
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Posted:Jul 18, 2013 11:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
8390 Views
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But I'm still up (LATE!) doing my stuff.... IN FACT basically I still do all the things I do except EXERCISING.. I'll have to avoid that for a long while since my sports injury... I figured this could be a 'chance' for me to grow fat... I'm suppose to be watching my diet (NOT!), but they say old habits die hard.... Though technically speaking, I'm neither DEAD nor HARD...
SEX has been REALLY NICE LATELY.... WHERE ARE ALL THE ATTRACTIVE WOMEN?? I used to ask myself... But when you don't have them, you long for them... When you have them....? You think it's nice... But sometimes you just get too absorbed and hook up, which really isn't such a nice thing..?? I like people who I can really connect with.... Definitely not an easy thing to happen because I'm not only talking about chemistry, but also life style... Habits... Beliefs.... I caught one recently. When you're so CLOSE, you're so close... When you're apart, you're free to go... Now this is REALLY what NO STRINGS ATTACHED are all about!!
Sex have been nice... Really nice... Except that most of the time I'm the dominant giver.... Sometimes I would also wish for a role switch....? Like I can be the submissive one for a chance...? Which really can be a very seductive and provoking thing too....?? But still... SEX Is GOOD!
Sex is good, but I thought gaming could be better....?? It's one thing which I can almost swear I can go on and on and on...... Not like sex.... Sex is COOL, I'll need to rest!
Work has been a growth period.... You have lots of thoughts in your head and you're slowly working things out... Sometimes perhaps others would wish I'm a much simpler person who can be tricked into things for once...?? But I'm not.....? I think I think too much.... I tend to see right through and up people's sleeves and know what they're really up to.....
Gosh, I'm getting tired... Think I'll be heading down for some other things before I fall asleep.....?
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Hungry...?
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Posted:Jul 17, 2013 3:38 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
8399 Views
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What I really wish on my list now... A nice pussy which really taste good... Which really wishes to be tasted good... Where are my calls...?
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Shift.
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Posted:Jul 14, 2013 4:00 pm
Last Updated:Jul 18, 2013 11:33 am
9493 Views
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Switch in mentality.
I don't know who could be reading my blog or not, and I no longer care... This is for me. This is suppose to be simple. This part of life is suppose to be......
In life we're suppose to be making decisions... Sometimes we don't really know our options... Other times we don't really know the limitation to our choices... In circles we go.....
Rain. Rainy season.
I wish to run, I really do....
Waking to another day of imperfection. What are holding me back? What is pushing me forward....? Suddenly it becomes much clearer to me.... I need a good 'master'. I need a good team to push me forward.... I thought I have not much fear and doubts... But I really need to overcome my worries over uncertainties... I know I have them unexpressed control. At least for most of the times...
Wake up. To the day of perfection....
No wonder I can never get my life right.... What I want.... I can never read for sure...
This blog. Not so simple after all...?
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Haze?
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Posted:Jul 11, 2013 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
8337 Views
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Strange day... Everybody in the house seems to have waken up a little later than usual.... As if a little time has disappeared...? Synchronized...
Haze. It seems to have gone away for now... Just when I thought I can finally exercise in the open again, an accident happened some time back which got the doctor barring me from exercises... It's plain misery....
I've 'improved' once again.... No no... This time round not on sex, but more on singing and other aspects of life... The singing improvement came as quite a bit of surprise as I've not been learning or practicing or anything.... Then again I had always knew I can improve without doing anything much over a period of, mainly only from achieving 'enlightenment'...
Don't feel like napping on the bus today....
Watched IMAX 3D yesterday... Though the ticket's a little on the expensive's side, it was pretty cool... There was this French girl sitting besides me who kept removing her 3D glasses for most of the time.... I think she couldn't take the images....? What a shame... I think it'll be a good choice if you're looking at the right movie....
My effectiveness in life I think, has gone up another level...? Just when I thought I'm already so 'effective', I continue to surprise myself.... In life you adapt and change... And I'm truly feeling so little resistance in my ways these days... Almost like... Seamless....?
Sex has been more on the disappointing side lately? Just when I thought I've finally found her, she has been really too busy with work and bothered by life that she is often too mood affected.... Maybe it's just also time for me to re-adjust my life again?
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Game #101
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Posted:Jun 6, 2013 10:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
9607 Views
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No gaming tonight. It has stopped, it has stopped before. Last night's game ended at around 4am before I hit the sack and woke back for work at around 6am.... Today's the break.
Tired. Thoughts come and go... I think I'm getting too 'old' for myself...? At least for now...? My state... My body.... My mind... My mentality... Not focusly aligned....
I sit at this cross road waiting for the routes ahead to take their forms... Whatever it is, I know I'm going 'up'..... But... What is the correct way to do it...?
'Betrayal' has given me a 'thought'... That thought has turned into a 'will'.... A free will... It has awakened me. All the while I knew I'm turning into something else, but I'm not even half as close... I would have to discard my previous belief no matter how right or how much of the truth it was.... I would have to melt myself down totally and emerge as something else.... Betrayals had always given me thoughts... I'm getting this closer and closer... And I know it.....
Never believe in what your enemy says? Instinctly, we won't even listen to the things from people who we don't like.... But despite that, there can be so much treasures and truth in them... Buried wisdom which you might never live to see..... I'm beginning to things from another perspective... Another picture from those who I think are performing far worse than me... People who I thought I would never wish to learn from. Yet they are part of the wisdoms in this galaxy... The missing parts of the puzzle.....
Thoughts that were 'torn' and faded and 'gone'... Reading written notes bring back memories... Wisdoms long forgotten... Come and go.... Where have you been.....?
I am ME. And I'm beginning to know WHO I AM.... Or rather, what I AM and who I can BE.... YOU cannot deny yourself. As only YOU can be your FINAL DESTINY.....
RECOGNISE who I am. WHAT I am. And WHAT I can be. FOCUS. It is only the 1st step....
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Be.
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Posted:Jun 5, 2013 9:43 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 7:29 pm
9590 Views
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I do not wish to hurt anyone... But I can't just be whatever you expect of me.... Not you. You, you or you... Not for the selfish ones... Not for the not selfish ones... I cannot pretend that I don't exist. Especially not after I'm beginning to discover who I am....
I'm sorry but this is who I am. And I cannot be sorry for what I am... I'm just me.... There's really nothing really wrong with me being me, just like there is nothing wrong with you being you....
I wish to spread my wings... REALLY SPREAD my WINGS... But before that, I'll have to know who I am.... Recognize who I am.... Accept who I am.....
Don't ask me to lie to myself....
What should exist.... What shouldn't....?
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To link to this blog (rm_DevilCharmZ) use [blog rm_DevilCharmZ] in your messages.
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