joke
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Posted:Jun 13, 2009 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:32 am
682 Views
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I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop masturbating
When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
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the male and female fantasies
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Posted:May 31, 2007 2:24 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 4:32 am
769 Views
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we both have our fantasies dreams male and female.
but do we want them to come true ?
as they no-longer will be just a dream.and then what would we do?
we live our lives dreaming of finding the ideal person that will love you with all their heart.
never leave you, never hurt you.and the sex will be terrific,
we fantasise about all of things some kinky, some down right rude.do we want a 3 some 4 some or even an orgy.to keep the excitement...
NO we really we just want one person that is all of the above then and only then we will be truly happy.
but a fantasie, or dream, is all that it is.
dont confuse this with happiness
all we can do is smile and be happy with what we have got.as meny in this world do not even have a dream to look forward to
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exercise for the over 40s
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Posted:May 28, 2007 2:56 pm
Last Updated:May 31, 2007 1:41 pm
869 Views
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For the Over 40's only
Subject: New exercise routine
> Exercise Routine
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> If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it
> faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for
> some.
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> Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!
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> SCROLL DOWN.............
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> That's enough for the first day. Great job.
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> Have a glass of wine.
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age does it matter to you?
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Posted:May 26, 2007 7:25 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2009 5:07 pm
843 Views
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im a 56 year old male.and finding someone for a bit of fun is becoming a fall time task.so it seems to me that all the paople out there saying age does not matter is ither lieing or just talking bollocks.
people just seem to see me for my age,and not that i can be a fun guy that will make them laugh and can chat on other subjects too..not just sex
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joke
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Posted:May 13, 2007 4:57 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2009 5:10 pm
910 Views
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A typical English 40 something, having split from his latest girlfriend,
> decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
> proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
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> He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
> only bananas and coconuts.
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> After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
> gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he
> asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
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> She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
> when my cruise ship sank."
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> "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
> with you."
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> "Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material
> I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I
> wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
> Eucalyptus tree."
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> "But, where did you get the tools?"
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> "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the
> island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.
> I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
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> The guy is stunned.
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> "Let's row over to my place," she says.
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> After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the
> man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone
> walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
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> While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
> man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
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> As they walks into the house, she says casually, "It's not much but I call
> it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
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> "No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop
> of coconut juice."
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> "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
> like a Pina Colada?"
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> Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
> on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
> announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
> like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom
> cabinet."
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> No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
> the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed
> to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
> mechanism.
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> "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
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> When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
> down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to
> him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's
> something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've
> been longing for?" She stares into his eyes.
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> He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows excitedly
> and tears start to form in his eyes.
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> "Don't tell me you've got Sky Sports here"
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