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Ok, I rarely talk about sex on here.
Rarely, but today I will.
All of us like sex, in some form or the other, right?
Love and sex don't always make good partners.
Sometimes we want sex, but not with just anyone.
Everybody needs to be adored and felt desirable.
Responsible people check out their partners well before engaging in sex.
Various sites, like Local Sexy Swingers, are available to find sex partners.
I personally, prefer cute little blondes, and ladies with long brown hair.
Can't see paying some service to find one though...
Enough about me...
Some of you might like to be spanked, for instance.
Perhaps bound and teased or used (In a nice way)...
All of us like adult games and new experiences, I'm pretty sure.
None of us wants to be rejected, dejected, or disrespected.
Knowing what you want, and communicating it are two different things.
I know what I like to do.
Now don't go thinking I'm about to divulge that info in this forum.
Gosh! What kind of guy do you think I am?
Not everybody knows how to talk about sex.
Altogether, I'd say bad sex follows only money as the root cause of break ups.
Two people should really make an effort to talk about what they like and want.
Usually they beat around the bush (sorry) before they get up the nerve.
Real communication is what leads to a fulfilling intimate relationship.
Even if your desires differ, you can still find middle ground.
Sorry if this seems to be a sorta disjointed blog.
Evidently I'm trying to make some kind of point here.
X marks the spot where a treasure can be found. Where's your X?
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The Burning Issue (Owwie!) Of Our Day Finally Resolved
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Posted:Nov 9, 2011 7:50 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4391 Views
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Down through the aeons intelligent man has debated the great philosophical issues which face us all, universally, regardless of which particular era in which we strode the terra firma.
Good vs evil, destiny vs self determination, mayo vs Miracle Whip.
But there is one burning, hotly contested issue which, over the last fifty years has caused families to split, economies to collapse, and sent the price of a three hour tour through the roof...
Ginger vs Mary Ann.
Sure, most folks are endeared to the homespun mannerisms and farm girl innocence and charm of that little pulled over while pot smokin in her brand new car on her birthday Dawn Wells, Mary Ann.
And what healthy male with two eyes and a handful of hard on didn't spend some quality time turning Japanese over that hot ass Tina Marie, Ginger?
I've seen grown men cry and lesbians fight to the death over this issue and I'm always obliged to throw my two cents in at some point.
That point is right about now.
You can go back and forth all you want over Ginger vs Mary Ann.
If I'm on that island I'm bangin' Lovey.
I'm knockin' the bottom outta Mrs Howell so's when we get home she hooks me up major bigtime.
You know the Professor is hittin' Mary Ann, and Ginger is greasin' Mr Howell's mast so he'll bankroll her big comeback pic about the island.
So if ya don't wanna spend another night as the Skipper's "little buddy" you'll get your ass over to Lovey's cabana and get busy.
I hope this has cleared the air on what has been a very devisive and contentious debate, not only in this country, but worldwide.
Thank you...
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Local Sexy Swingers a no-holds-barred Facebook or a real meeting place for serious swingers?
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Posted:Dec 16, 2010 8:14 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4663 Views
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I often wonder just how many people, what percentage, hook up on here? I have scored with many a like-minded lady on here, but only after wading through countless wannabes,hookers, and cam pervs.
I'll be the first to admit...the cams are fun, but rarely lead to hook ups. they're more of an outlet for exhibitionists and the good folks who love to watch.
Local Sexy Swingers is a great place to hook up...if that's truly what you want...I don't consider every horny person a "swinger",or even every swapping couple.
Bottom line. I'm here looking on two levels: One level is looking for a LTR with a like-minded woman.
Another level is saying "whatever happens-as long as it feels good".
What do you think?
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Liars, Cheaters, Fools........
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Posted:Feb 7, 2010 3:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2010 3:29 pm
4454 Views
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I'm always amazed at the people I meet on this site. I have an idea! Why don't you post a pic showing 8 square inches of the only part of your body worth presenting? That way when we meet, I can gouge my eyes out so I don't have to look.....if you are fat and ugly, just say so........I can deal with that...it's the ugly inside I can't stand.
Here's a favorite...you think becaise I'm 54 that I'm desperate for pussy and willing to pay......Ha! Get real bitch! First of all, I don't pay for pussy...Even if it was the finest pussy on Earth...and it isn't if it's on here.
Whores who have to use this site to generate leads are the saddest whores that exist. Even sluts in Mogadishu have a or a handler to take care of business for them.
So don't roll up on me looking for cash or an easy ride to the bigtime.. What makes you think you deserve the treatment you want? Affection, Love, and Sex are a two way street baby. Keep it up, stay on this track and you'll be an old, unwanted, used up, dishrag before you know it. Then nobody will want or value you.
News Flash! Women were liberated about 30 years ago...pay for your own drink, bitch...better yet show me how independent you really are and buy ME a drink.
If this doesn't apply to you, good! God Bless Ya... if it does...if men are just a way for you to get from point a to point b...a cash machine...then shame on you....! You ain't all that........
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Air travel 2020 0r
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Posted:Jan 25, 2010 12:22 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4350 Views
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It was a typical trip to the airport The usual pain-in-the-ass restrictions. Since the new procedures were put in place air travel had plummeted (pardon) and several carriers had folded. In fact the line today was the shortest I'd ever seen. So that was good news. Still, we had to wait to filter through the security checkpoint as always and as always someone started to reminisce about the �good old days of air travel�....
Yeah, it's no wonder that people have come to hate air travel. When I was a you just walked over to the plane and handed the girl at the top of the ramp your pass and that was it. Relatives accompanied you right up to the ramp unimpeded. That was until the crisis in Cuba in the early 60's. One day a guy boarded a plane in Miami, brandished a rusty twenty-two and said �Take me to Cuba�. After that they installed metal detectors. People could still go right up to the gate to wave goodbye. It was no big deal...Then more hijackings, more disasters, Lockerbee, etc. Now you couldn't leave the car at the curb and you were subject to bag searches, etc...
That's were most of us came in. Then 911, Richard Reed, the Christmas 2009 attempt, and the awful events of Januarty 2017, brings us up to today's stringent restrictions.
The overhead speaker crackled away with it's endless list of security reminders and gate changes. As we approached the checkpoint another speaker in front of us pleasantly blurted out in a very matter-of-fact way �All passengers must surrender all articles of clothing at the checkpoint, and are subject to a complete cavity search, no exceptions!'
Yes it was inconvenient and humiliating, as the airport had always been, just more so...The upside was since there were far fewer passengers, everyone rides in first class. The free meals, movies, and cocktails had come back. It took a bit of adjusting to get the temperature right on the planes and to get used to riding naked with strangers and family members, but before long the good food and free booze sorta turned air travel into a seedy sky high Club Med.
The next move is to install a toilet built into every seat so as to restrict movement about the plane entirely. This was the idea of the Sky Marshall's who felt too obvious and exposed by being the only naked person wearing a gun......Keep everyone seated...anyone stands, shoot' em!
The country will eventually move to a single nationalized airline called Air Obama after the visionary who first proposed it, to much derision, in the early years of the twenty-first century.
OK, I'll shut up. It's time for the in-flight 3D hologram movie. The lady next to me wants to know if she can finish off my...what? Oh....my peanuts.
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"Totally Suckable"
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Posted:Feb 11, 2009 7:28 pm
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4552 Views
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Chicks love suckin' my dick. That's just a fact. I was as surprized as anyone. All through school I was dorky, skinny, and dumb as a rock at everything but history. As luck would have it, I was blessed with a couple of good genes, namely my artistic abilities and a nice Italian package.
Turns out, skinny guys with big dicks are a good thing to most girls. Since I love eatin' pussy and and gettin' head, even more than fuckin', it's all good for me.
It's true, most of the ladies I meet on here are "a little extra padding", but they suck a mean dick and their pussys are just as sweet.....
There's nothing i appreciate more than a spankable sub with a mouthful of meat starin' up at me from her knees, while I pull her hair and call her "my cocksuckin' slut".
I spank them and lick them and feed them until we both squirt, sweat, and spooge ourselves out of breath and collapse in a big ole pile of funk.
I actually prefer petite women, but are maybe intimidated by super tall guys.
Anyway, the good news is, I'm still standin'....doot doot doo...
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Stop Punishing Las Vegas For Wall Street's Sins
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Posted:Feb 5, 2009 12:33 pm
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2009 2:02 pm
5068 Views
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This weeks big story was the cancellation of Wells Fargo's annual rewards/awards junket to Vegas. At first glance, it makes perfect sense that a company receiving billions in government/taxpayer aid should tighten purse strings and minimize all appearances of lavish extras for execs and top performers.
Motivating those top performers to bust ass next year, all year long, for a Smithfield Glazed Ham and a gift certificate to CVS.
The twelve day bash was to be held at the Wynn, and it's new sister property the Encore. As soon as the cancellation was announced, Wynn, the only outfit in town to maintain a full staff with all benefits and no hour or wage cuts, announced reduced hours, smaller salaries, and quit matching dividends on the 401k plans.
Stagehands, A/V techs, entertainers, servers, maids....everyone, loses twelve days worth of work.
Past junkets have featured free helicopter rides, a private Jimmy Buffet concert, wine tastings, etc.
As a consequence of the cancellation, helicopter pilots and mechanics, Jimmy Buffet and his band and crew, and numerous wineries will not be benefiting from the cash expended at such an event.
You see, the sad truth is...that's the way business is done. It's not right. It's not fair. But it's the way it has been done from day number one. A few people get the perks, the rest pick up the tips.
All this talk about stimulating the economy, while simultaneously squashing events that generate huge amounts of revenue for everyone, is madness...the kind of madness typical in any country with a herd mentality. Punish the wealthy and successful even if it means you are out of a job because of it.
Vegas deserves a break too. This is the worst economy here since pre-WW2. Thus town isn't populated by all bloated fat cats. It's populated by working stiffs, in the service industries. When you punish Vegas, you punish them...us....me.
Wake up people! While you fall for this shell game, the real culprits are sneaking past you with your rights and valuables in a big black burglar bag.
We needed that convention here. Now it won't come. Thanks America, for thinking another one all the way through........
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Another reason to make breakfast at home...
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Posted:Feb 5, 2009 7:26 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4822 Views
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He signaled the waitress with some undefinable gesture established over years of repetition.
She poured him more coffee and wiped a bit of crumb away from his upper lip in a motherly fashion.
"More toast Bobby"?
"Naw, a little more java and I'm ready to get crackin'. I gotta hot date today at the park.
Everyone laughed. Bobby is at least 85, bald, loud, and resembles Uncle Leo on tv's "Seinfeld".
A delivery guy hollers from the back, "Go get 'em Bobby baby"!
More laughter. Bobby chuckles. "Look at us. The same band of idiots eat here every morning, as if lured here by some mysterious force straight from the freekin' "Twilight Zone". A buncha goddam zombies I tell ya"!
He glances up at the tv set. The sound is always off. It's a news story about Obama's mis-steps in his first few weeks as President.
Bobby shook his head.
"Poor bastard. They're gonna kill 'em".
"Huh? Oh yeah. Congress is already dissecting his dick and balls over his cabinet picks and this stimulus package has taken more whacks than Lizzy Borden's mother."
I knew Bobby had worked high up in the Daley Machine back in the old days in Chicago.
He stirred his coffee thoughtfully.
Y'know, it's really hard to get into the White House without having been around the block several times. Ya get up there and ya got no friends to speak of. That's why he grabbed Biden y'know."
"Ya think so Bobby"?
"Think so? I know so! Don't forget it was Chicago that pushed another junior Senator over the hump and into the White House....... Kennedy!"
"Wasn't Giancana involved with that"?
"Sam, Daley, everybody had to call in favors to swing that one and then the and his brother forget who their friends are as soon as they get up there. Ya can see what it got the both of them...."
An uneasy silence settled in like a thick blanket of fog.
I had run clean outta quips and semi-informed musings. This guy was sorta scarin' me.
As he paid his $2 tab at the register he seemed lost in some inner conversation, as if warning himself.
"Kennedy, Lincoln.......ya don't fuck with Illinois"!
I tried to forget the whole thing.
"See ya tomorrow Bobby"!
He waved absent mindedly at everyone and turned to leave.
"They're gonna kill 'em".....
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The Last Showdown
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Posted:Jan 7, 2009 6:11 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2009 10:08 pm
4398 Views
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The old timer was emphatic.
"You head on out this-a way 'til ya see that old carcass on the left, then ya make a bee line fer that tree near the wagon ruts".
"I can catch the stage there"?
"Yup, "N that tree makes a good shady spot fer ya ta wait, too". He smiled and opened his palm in a gesture that I should "tip" him.
Unfortunately for him, I had a pocket loaded with fake $5 gold pieces. I flipped him one and said "Make sure to take a bath, then get yourself some female companionship, and a bottle". He grinned the genuine grin of the semi toothless satisfied.
"Na... no...problem, stranger"! He stuttered.
I headed out "that-a way", eventually beholding the leathery remains of some wayward, sickly, beast and spotted the most likely tree and made a bee line.
It was a big, beautiful Oak, with huge overhanging limbs and an abundance of shade. There were various tracks and a few wagon prints. I didn't really see any “ruts”. But since I was on foot, and the stage was likely to be a while, I decided to take a little nap.
I found a nice patch of grass and put my jacket and my bedroll under my head, then closed my eyes.....
“Damn'dest thing” I laughed, “Why wouldn't the stage stop in town”? “Why out here”?
I wasn't asleep long , but I dreamed of childhood friends, and summer nights. I saw that barmaid from Helena, who I never had the courage to court, and the post office in St. Louis. I dreamed of thunder and darkness, and a rising wind.
Awakening, suddenly, I found myself surrounded by men on horseback.
I rose slowly, making sure to keep my guns concealed under my waistcoats.
“Hello there gentlemen, it seems you've caught me napping”. Silence. “Everybody waiting for the stage”?
“There ain't no stage a-comin' you dumb shit. There ain't nuthin' comin' fer you but the rope”!
I sensed that argument was futile, so I warned them, “I'm not gonna go that way”.
They laughed.
“There's ten of us and you and your two pistols! How many do you think you can take down before we kill you”?
I pondered for a second...”About five, maybe six”.
There was another moment of silence. Some were visibly shaken, several had looks of shear terror written on their faces.
Since they were less likely to shoot accurately, I decided to kill them last.
I only had twelve bullets with which to dispatch ten men. The odds were not in my favor.
All in all, eight holes were dug that day. The seven men I killed or mortally wounded, and mine.
It was the shotgun blast from behind that got me. One of the “shear terrors” found his mark and immortalized his family name from that day on.
As for me. I was glad it was all over. Years of running away from the law, one step ahead of the bounty hunter. A new scheme, a new name, and a different woman , everywhere I went.
As the life ebbed out of me I slipped back into the dream of summers gone by, strawberries and cream, and chasing fire flies at night. I remember hearing a far off bell tolling as the fire flies faded and night threw her cozy, warm comforter over my chilly shoulders and bade me sleep.
When I awoke again, it was the stage driver shaking me.
“You must surely be tired feller, snorin' like a mule, and didn't even hear the stage pull up”.
“I'm alive”?
“As alive as a man can be on foot out here in West Texas”.
I reached into my pocket for two of the gold pieces.
“Think this'll cover my fare”?
“That's more than enough Mister, eh, I didn't catch your name”......
“Mister will do just fine. You wouldn't have a little nip of something would ya”?
He grinned widely. “Hell, I thought you'd never ask” he chuckled, producing a flask from beneath his shirt.
“Since the coach is empty now, maybe I can ride up top with you”?
“Sure! Can ya handle a shotgun”?
I squirmed a bit, remembering the dream.
“Yeah, I think so”......
And off we rode, drinking and singing, into the Texas night, with me wondering all the while when I'd finally face the last showdown..........
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...I see ya lookin'....
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Posted:Dec 14, 2008 1:10 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 11:18 am
4346 Views
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Yeah, I see you over there, you see me over here, we're both in here every night,yet........
I tried to talk to you but you can't be bothered and I don't have to energy to be "On" all the freekin' time.
People are strange....Jim had it right.
Jimi nailed it too. "I know what I want but I just don't know....how to go about gettin' it"...
As a musician I've gotten more pussy in one week than some guys get in a whole lifetime.
Juggled more ho's than a fireman.
Yet, here I am.....
It's funny!
True, my standards are much higher now....I can't/won't be bothered with just anyone....Still, I've done some pretty sweet babes....
Fell in love a couple of times.....what a moron I am.....
I wanna do it again...the fall is worth the sudden splat at the end...
I see ya lookin'.....
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Senate Scalper "I Got Two Tickets To Paradise"..
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Posted:Dec 10, 2008 1:47 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2008 1:52 am
4393 Views
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Public urinals were never my favorite places. The individual urinal offers little or no privacy from admiring eyes or insecure peeking. I guess it's better than the old trough though, that used to be the standard, or the ditch before that.
Anyway, I was draining the lizard, tryin' not to demonstrate just how long I really am, out of pity. when a guy in a classic Morty Costanza brown trenchcoat sidles up next to me, fumbling with his zipper.
"You set"? He asks.
"Huh"?
"You know....need anything"?
"Such as...."
"Drugs, sex, (he glanced down) Senate seat"?
"What...what was that last one"?
He leans toward me, looking around nervously.
"Senate seat, Illinois. Hardly ever used, only a million smackers"!
"A million? Free and clear"? My mind raced, I could get some backers and....
"No questions asked"! His eyes bulged. "But ya gotta hurry"!
Somewhere up near the ventilation shaft I thought I heard the chirp of a radio say "Ok, that's a wrap. Take 'em down"...
As I was leaving, a sea of blue trenchcoats flooded the restroom. Since I was wearing a blue cashmir, I musta blended right in, 'cos nobody ever stopped me.
Even as we speak I'm clutching the busness card he shoved into my hand, "Power For Cash" "Reasonable Rates".........Call Joey 1 800 Payoff 1.....
They're running an advertised special, one seat from New York and one from Illinois, only 1.5 million. Fire sale!
Of course the way the country is going, with the bad economy and two wars and debt and all, I'd be better off if someone was paying me for the seats. Which is why I'm offering them up for a cool 3 million apiece.
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My Bitch Whistle
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Posted:Dec 7, 2008 12:40 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2008 3:27 pm
4444 Views
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One date stood me up entirely. No call. No show.
The other one showed up looking like the mother of the woman in the profile.
And that was just today.
What kind of delusional fucktard would think he could find a reasonably attractive, reliable, woman on a site like this?
Me.
But I don't get discouraged easily because I know the secret to success is persistance.
One more try, one more chance, one more night spent alone in my bed, until at last....she arrives.
And she will.
She always does.
Usually out of left field somewhere.
She's always fatally flawed, but perfect for me.
Crazy...sexy.....adventurous.....and a fairly good cook.
I wish I had a whistle like a whistle, I could blow to let the crazy bitch know I'm in the neighborhood.
But alas!
My bitch whistle broke in the big blow of'98.
I heard there were bitch drums, but all I could find was the bitch finger cymbals, and those didn't work.
Without my superior technology to weed out the dogpigs and g-milfs, I'm doomed.
My Kingdom for a bitchwhistle!
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Multiverse Uncertainty Principle Means Good News For Blind Daters
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Posted:Dec 3, 2008 1:40 am
Last Updated:Dec 8, 2008 3:29 pm
4704 Views
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One of physics radical theories states that every universe has an infinate number of slightly different copies that spawn off of each other depending on your actions or lack of actions in this universe.
This means all things, all outcomes, and all dreams, are not only possible, but likely to exist in an invisable dimension right next to the one we exist in.
The good news? All blind dates work out perfect.
In this level three extra dimensional multiverse, everything that could happen does and splits off into a universe of it's own.
So right now, somewhere, an infinate number of yourselves are living happily, perhaps even running off to get married, to that dweeb/dweebette you rejected last year. In another set of infinate multiverses, you reject him/her and the go back to your job as President/God/dumpster slut/, or even American Idol winner.
So take heart. Somewhere incredibly close to where you are now, you are the ultimate success and happily in love and satisfied.
If that is your current condition in this world, you are lucky and probably don't need to be on this site. And an infinate number of "failure" you's are going on job interviews and blind dates elsewhere.
So it's nice to know that we all are getting laid somewhere by our perfect lover, right now.
The theory also states that by altering your thoughts and actions you may "jump" into the "successful you" existance unawares that you went anywhere at all.
Ever hear of a "lifechanging" experience?
So takes heart Local Sexy Swingers'ers. You are happy and satisfied...just not here... Make the jump!
If you can imagine it, it can exist!
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Auto-reply This You Stanky Hoo-wah
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Posted:Nov 28, 2008 1:20 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2008 6:49 pm
4704 Views
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I would never say that.
But there is something about the auto-reply that smacks of a little smell that starts with the telephone answering machine and ends somwhere west of fake celebrity autograph country.
"I'm sooo fuckin' popular or busy that I simply don't have the time to answer them all".
Oh really?
You had the time to take pictures of your ass and post them.
You found the time to record a member video that was viewed by 24,000 people.
You lollygag around your chat holes and play Lady Godiva in your virtual nymph forest here.
But no time for some loser eh? Eh? Eh?
Ok, no prob...you've probably got like man hands or something, like you're a low talker, or ya snort when ya laugh, whatever...
.....stanky hoo-wah!
I guess in ending I'd say it's ok to use the auto-reply function as long as you aren't using it to blow smoke up everyone's asses.
A simple, "Hey, I'm outta town", "I broke my hand wankin' off", or whatever is required and no more. None of this "Have a special day" shit. I'd be havin' a special day if you were over here gorged on my dick and balls sweetheart...
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To link to this blog (rm_lv88s) use [blog rm_lv88s] in your messages.
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