Condoms
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Posted:Jun 9, 2011 1:51 pm
Last Updated:May 8, 2024 10:0 am
878 Views
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A man was in a long line at Wal-Mart. As he got to the register he
realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if
she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked, 'What size condoms?'
The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants.
He did.
She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the
intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Register 5.'
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us,
was up for a cheap thrill.
When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had
forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some
brought to the register for him.
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him
to drop his pants. He did.
She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom,and said, 'One box of
medium-sized condoms, Register 5.'
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was
way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live
female, so he thought this was his chance.
When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.
She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.? She asked him to drop
his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick
squeeze, then picked up the intercom,and said...
(you'll love this one...................)
'Cleanup, Register 5'
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Mount and Dew!!!
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Posted:Apr 24, 2011 2:34 am
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2011 1:20 pm
1157 Views
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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is
Acetaminophen.
Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil
is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were
Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course,
Ibepokin
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails",
"highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Something to wrap your head around!!
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Posted:Mar 21, 2011 12:18 am
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2011 1:20 pm
1311 Views
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Baked Beans -
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that
we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would
be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I
could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time
I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed
three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a
seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to
answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was
becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the
air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse
than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on
like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I
quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,
apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around
the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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