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Blogs > rm_trainmepls1 > Seven Eves
Seven Eves
  
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Men's Bodies
Posted:May 25, 2010 11:28 am
Last Updated:Sep 24, 2011 2:01 pm
11672 Views



We don't hear about it very often, but many men are dissatisfied with their bodies. They have what's popularly called "The Adonis Complex," "bigorexia," and muscle dysmorphia. They believe they should be bigger, stronger, leaner, and more muscular, striving for some unattainable ideal. They work out excessively and take supplements and steroids, in order to achieve what they think is a he-man ideal.

To top things off, even though men often have low self-esteem because of their body image, they're taught that they shouldn't be concerned with their appearance or talk about it. Men learn that only women need to be concerned with looking good.

I'm curious whether men's assessment of the ideal muscularity is in line with what women expect from men. This poll might end up making men feel even worse about their bodies, but it's possible that it might make them feel better about themselves.

Women, which body do you find most attractive? Men, which body would you ideally like to have? (Ideally, I would put all choices on a separate line, but polls only have 10 available lines, so 5 and 6 are lumped together.)
I'm a woman who prefers Type 1
I'm a woman who prefers Type 2
I'm a woman who prefers Type 3
I'm a woman who prefers Type 4
I'm a woman who prefers Type 5 or 6
I'm a man who prefers Type 1
I'm a man who prefers Type 2
I'm a man who prefers Type 3
I'm a man who prefers Type 4
I'm a man who prefers Type 5 or 6
8 Comments , 58 votes
Women's Bodies
Posted:May 25, 2010 11:07 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2012 1:37 pm
12641 Views



It's well-known that many women have a poor body image, mostly due to issues with weight. We constantly see underweight supermodels or super-sexy, buxom bikini models held up as an unattainable ideal for us to live up to. As a result, women resort to eating disorders and cosmetic surgery, to try to compete.

And even if we are comfortable with ourselves, lots of us here on the site are subject to rude emails and comments about our bodies, mostly having to do with weight, which eats away at our confidence.

But do we really know what men prefer? Are their preferences in line with what we think of as ideal?

This poll may end up confirming our worst fears; nevertheless, which body size do men and women find attractive or aspire to?
I'm a man who prefers Type 1-2
I'm a man who prefers Type 3-4
I'm a man who prefers Type 5-6
I'm a man who prefers Type 7-8
I'm a man who prefers Type 9
I'm a woman who prefers Type 1-2
I'm a woman who prefers Type 3-4
I'm a woman who prefers Type 5-6
I'm a woman who prefers Type 7-8
I'm a woman who prefers Type 9
9 Comments , 161 votes
Butterflies
Posted:May 24, 2010 4:17 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2013 8:14 am
9945 Views
It's hard to believe, but I used to be scared of butterflies. I think it stems from three events I experienced, as a . One was at my grandmother's house, where her neighbour's grandson used to catch butterflies and often ended up damaging their wings. The second was a vague memory I have of a butterfly getting momentarily tangled in my hair. The third was a little more meaningful and happened when I was still very young and riding in a stroller. I saw a dead butterfly on the sidewalk and made the astute observation that "the sky doesn't die, and trees don't die, but butterflies die, and so will I." That seems like a lot for a two or three year old to process. I don't know where I even heard the word "die," as such a little and how I managed to figure out life and death, but I did.

I think, as a result, I formed this impression of butterflies as ethereal insects that float around aimlessly in the air, unable to avoid capture, and so delicate that a mere touch or brush against them would reduce their wings to powder and kill them. So for most of my life, I was afraid...maybe OF them and maybe FOR them...I'm not sure.

But gradually I've come to like them more. They're sort of like flowers flying around. I've decided to keep track this spring and summer of all the butterflies I see in our yard.

Here's what I've seen so far:
Comma (which might actually be a Question Mark...I can't tell them apart). It landed on the side of the garage, as I was misting the garden, and it stayed there for a long time, flapping its wings slowly and enjoying the mist.
Common Sulphur. It was fluttering around the front yard, looking for flowers. Mostly, it stayed on the weedy-looking plants out by the side of the road and ignored the actual flowers in the garden (pansies, impatiens, petunias, etc.)
Red Admiral. It landed on the garage, next to the Comma, to enjoy the mist.
Black-winged Damselfly. It was fluttering around like a butterfly and fooled me at first. I was able to get the camera right up within a few inches of it. It was totally oblivious of me and just focused on chasing little bugs through the air.
Green Darner Dragonfly. It fell out of a tree and landed wing side down on the ground at my feet. I tried to flip it over, and it flew erratically at me. (Yes, I screamed!) I think it's either newly born or injured because it can't really fly. It's one of the biggest and fastest of the common dragonflies.
Eastern Tiger Swallowtail. This is the most beautiful butterfly I've seen yet! For days, I saw a pair of them chasing each other down in the ravine behind the house, but never knew what they were. Yesterday, they came into the yard and were fluttering around me, unafraid.
Twelve-spot Skimmer. This dragonfly is mostly found around ponds and slow-moving rivers. I saw it in the front yard, hanging from a day lily leaf.
Yellowpatch Skipper. This is a butterfly, even though it looks kind of like a moth or a grasshopper of some sort. It's very small and holds its wings on top of each other, closed up over its back.
Cabbage White. I've been watching this one fly around the yard for weeks now and haven't been able to identify it until it finally rested on a leaf for more than half a second. I've never seen a butterfly that flitted around as constantly as this one.
Monarch. I finally got a good look at it, to determine that it's a Monarch and not a Viceroy. Now I just need to get a good picture of it with its wings open!
Autumn Meadowhawk. This is a small dragonfly, just a little over one inch long. It's the laziest dragonfly I've ever seen. It sat on the end of a dried Day Lily stalk for hours and let me measure it and take tons of pictures. It's either an immature male or a female. The adult males have red tails.
Eastern Black Swallowtail. This is a very shy but beautiful butterfly that flies away every time I try to get close enough to take a picture or positively identify it.
White Admiral. This summer (2011) I've seen most of the same butterflies that I saw last year, but I finally saw a new one today. It had a chunk missing from its wing, which is maybe why I got close enough to it to take its picture. Although, the Red Admiral (which I assume is related) also sat still for long periods of time.
Giant Silk Moth. This spring (2012), we had a HUGE number of Red Admiral butterflies. This moth is one of the new things that I've seen so far. It's apparently quite common in New York State, but even though it's so big (the size of my hand) and common, I'd never seen one before. Sadly, it seemed to be either dead or heavily damaged.
White Slant-line Moth. This is a small moth that might be uncommon in New York State. I found a map of the last 100 confirmed sightings, and there were only a couple of confirmed sightings of it in Suffolk County since 2009. Most of the sightings were in Pennsylvania, Ontario and Missouri. It's taken up residence on our back door where it hides under a window frame during the day.
Mourning Cloak Butterfly. I had never seen one of these in our yard, which is strange because they like oak sap, and we have plenty of oak trees in our yard. This year (2013), they seem to have hatched early. It's only April, but it's more common to see them in June and July.
5 Comments
What Does This Mean?
Posted:Mar 28, 2010 11:51 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2010 10:00 am
7739 Views
Some of you may have seen this blog entry last week: [post 2267123]. The issue has more or less been resolved, so I'm not trying to add any more fuel to the flames.

What I'd like to know right now is what we can learn from it. It's no secret that there are far more men than women on the site and that fewer women buy memberships than just cruise along as standard members. This is pretty obvious, no matter where you are on the site.

But in this particular blog, and maybe in others, all the usual ratios of men to women and paying to standard members is reversed. Here's what I found in that blog entry:

  • There were 195 total unique responses
  • Of those, 114 were from women
  • There was a 1.2:1 ratio of paying women to standard woman
  • There was a 1.5:1 ratio of women to men (more women than men!)
  • 32% were paying women
  • 27% were standard women
  • 39% were men
  • 1.5% were couples
  • 1% were TS/TV/TG

    So what do you think this actually means?

  • Trainmepls1 needs to shut her Excel spreadsheet and get a breath of fresh air
  • The best place for guys to meet women is in NascarFox's blog
  • The best place on the site to meet women is in the blogs
  • The female bloggers are crankier than other women on the site
  • The site should market the blogs somehow, to capitalize on how attractive they are to women
  • The women are justifiably upset about the way the site allows them to be portrayed
  • The site had better shape up or risk losing many active, paying female members

    Any other interpretations? Any of mine that you don't agree with? What do you think?
    		•
    4 Comments , 2 Pending
    Munchausen by Internet
    Posted:Feb 15, 2010 1:52 pm
    Last Updated:Feb 12, 2011 2:05 pm
    8765 Views

    Munchausen Syndrome

    This is a mental illness called a "factitious disorder." In Munchausen syndrome, the "patients" fake an illness because they crave the attention, care and sympathy that sick people get. They will even go so far as to consult multiple doctors and undergo tests and even surgery for their faked conditions. People with this disorder don't generally do it for monetary gain. They do it to get attention, lenience, act out anger and jealousy, and/or control others. It's truly a mental illness. The cause of it is unknown.

    Munchausen by Internet

    Dr. Mark D. Feldman, a specialist in Munchausen syndrome, has identified a new variation on the disorder that he calls "Munchausen by Internet," but the disorder hasn't been accepted into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR. People with this condition join online medical support groups and carry out their deception through the chat and forum communities online. They create multiple accounts and pose as friends and family members of the "sick" person, to try to make it more convincing.

    The disorder can involve faking a severe illness or being the victim of stalking, harassment, and physical or sexual abuse. It can also be carried out "by proxy," where the person pretends that his or someone close to him is suffering from any of the above conditions. In the "by proxy" cases, sometimes the perpetrator will play the role of a victim and other times the role of a hero, but the intent is still to garner attention.

    Pseuicide

    Munchausen by Internet is becoming so common that the term "pseuicide" is widely in use to jokingly describe it. Here's the definition from the Urban Dictionary: "Faking a terminal illness or death on the internet. May be done for the lulz, to get sympathy and lip gloss, or to see who your real friends are. A pseuicide usually divides a web community into suckers and insensitive douchebags. Death announcements can be made by a sockpuppet."

    According to Dr. Feldman's research, these are some of the common patterns exhibited by people with Munchausen by Internet:

  • Medical literature from websites or textbooks is often duplicated or discussed in great detail.
  • The length and severity of purported physical ailments conflicts with user behavior. Feldman uses the example of someone posting in considerable detail about being in septic shock, when such a possibility is extremely unlikely.
  • Symptoms of ailments may be exaggerated as they correspond to a user's misunderstanding of the nature of an illness.
  • Grave situations and increasingly critical prognoses are interspersed with "miraculous" recoveries.
  • A user's posts eventually reveal contradictory information or claims that are implausible: for example, other users of a forum may find that a user has been divulging contradictory information about occurrence or length of hospital visits.
  • When attention and sympathy decreases to focus on other members of the group, a user may announce that other dire events have transpired, including illness or death striking a close family member.
  • When faced with insufficient expressions of attention or sympathy, a forum member claims this as a cause that symptoms worsen or do not improve.
  • A user resists contact beyond the internet, by telephone or personal visit, often by claiming bizarre reasons for not being able to accept such contact.
  • Further emergencies are described with inappropriate happiness, designed to garner immediate reactions.
  • Other forum members post on behalf of a user that exhibit identical writing styles, spelling errors, and language idiosyncrasies, suggesting that the user has created fictitious identities to move the conversation in their direction.

    This sort of behaviour is more common in online medical support groups, but I've seen and heard similar behaviour many times on the various dating sites I've belonged to, particularly with stories of sexual abuse and stalking, but also with false claims of chronic diseases and death. I'm sure you've all run into it, too. The fictitious stories can take months and even years to play out.

    How to Deal With Someone Exhibiting Munchausen by Internet

    The impact of this kind of deception on Internet communities is pretty bad. It tends to rip them apart, as people take sides, some believing the ruse and others pointing out the deception. Group members are accused of disloyalty, gullibility, persecution, etc. Dr. Feldman acknowledges that sadism, on the part of the "patient," is present in the worst cases. Victims of such deceit say that they feel "emotionally " when they find out that they've been deceived. Sometimes, groups that have fallen prey to such a scenario never recover from the negativity and schisms that arise.

    What should an Internet group do, when they suspect that such a situation is unfolding?

  • It's important to balance skepticism with empathy; not everybody is a "faker." Dr. Feldman suggests having "a small number of established members gently, empathetically, and privately question the author of the dubious posts." He suggests that at first the person will vehemently deny any accusation, but eventually the person will disappear from the group.

    And how should an Internet group deal with the aftermath of such a situation?

  • Some groups will ban the perpetrator and ban any further discussion of the individual and the general drama created.

  • Dr. Feldman says, "Remaining members may need to enlist help in processing their feelings, ending any bickering or blaming, and refocusing the group on its original laudable goal."
    • 5 Comments
    Hula Hoop
    Posted:Feb 11, 2010 2:39 pm
    Last Updated:Mar 28, 2010 8:30 am
    8276 Views


    I bought a hula hoop yesterday, thinking it would be a fun way to improve my stomach muscles. I thought it would be easy, but it's HARD! Most of the time, I can only get it to rotate about 10 times, before it slides down my body and hits the floor. My all-time record is 24 rotations.
    4 Comments , 1 Pending
    Kill the Bugs!
    Posted:Jan 7, 2010 2:38 pm
    Last Updated:Mar 4, 2012 1:04 pm
    9833 Views



    Community is collecting all your bug feedback at this post: Want to Get 250 Points and Kill Some Bugs. Visit it add your bugs and learn how to get 250 points just for re-posting.

    Those of you who follow along with this blog know that we push a release to our site about once a month. Each of these monthly releases contains fixes to bugs, any new tweaks or features, and a bunch of back-end site performance improvements.

    This February we using our monthly release to focus on bugs you want fixed. I want to make sure I'm paying attention to all the issues you guys are having. All bloggers, group members and mods, broadcasters, chat room junkies and advice line warriors should add their feedback. Please add your bugs in the comments.

    What are bugs?

    Stuff that doesn't work like it should. Here are a few examples:

    * If you look at your Blog post in Title view, clicking on any of your blog posts takes you to a blank white page.
    * Members handles getting stuck in the chat room even after they have left.
    * Sometimes when you set custom colors on your blog or group, they don't show up correctly after saving.
    * The Live Member Webcams home page stopped refreshing a few weeks ago.
    * When you respond to a comment on your own blog, it counts as "New."

    What are not bugs?

    * Changes in policy - Like allowing allowing people to post pics of their motorcycle or pets.
    * Adjusting Current Functionality - Like dropping the voting in advice lines.
    * New Stuff and Suggestions - Like having a sound when you get a new page, so that you don't miss it even if you aren't looking.

    250 Point BONUS!
    To help me send this post to others around the site, I'll give you a 250 Point Bonus for re-posting this request for help in your Blog. Here's how it works:

    - Copy entire text of this post (including this offer)
    - Paste this post into a new Blog Post on your Blog
    - Show me your blog post linking to your post here "Add Your Re-Post for Points Here!"
    - At the end of January, everyone who re-posted this, and posted the blog # into "Add Your Re-Post for Points Here!" will get 250 points added to their account.

    Thanks for the help!

    4 Comments
    Merry Christmas!
    Posted:Dec 14, 2009 4:26 pm
    Last Updated:Feb 15, 2010 3:58 pm
    7759 Views


    5 Comments
    Seven Eves
    Posted:Oct 23, 2009 5:36 pm
    Last Updated:Apr 1, 2012 1:44 pm
    8435 Views

    Right now, this blog is just here to give me an easy link to a list of my old blog posts.

    Maybe over time I'll add some real posts, and it will make steadfast progress and plummet to the top of the list of most popular blogs.
    4 Comments

    To link to this blog (rm_trainmepls1) use [blog rm_trainmepls1] in your messages.
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