Addendum to courtesy post - re: Profiles
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Posted:Jun 28, 2010 11:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 9:38 pm
2586 Views
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Another addition to my courtesy suggestions:
Make your profiles positive and polite! Half the profiles I read on here spend most of the page telling what they DON'T like about people, telling those types of people not to contact them, and generally being insulting and degrading. What's the purpose of that, other than to make others feel bad?
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Some suggested guidelines for common courtesy in the Local Sexy Swingers community
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Posted:Jun 24, 2010 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2011 7:40 pm
2737 Views
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I've been on Local Sexy Swingers off and on for about 7 years now. Over the years, I've met and had fun with some really wonderful people. However, for every 1 great person I've run into, I've encountered 10 who are rude, inconsiderate, judgmental, or some combination of the above. Whatever happened to common courtesy?
Here are my thoughts on some guidelines for how the Local Sexy Swingers community could behave towards each other to make the experience more enjoyable for everyone.
1. If you're not interested in having sex anytime in the foreseeable future, say so on your profile, or leave the site. There are plenty of dating sites out there if you're looking for a relationship, or if you need to hem and haw for 2 months before deciding whether to have sex with someone.
2. Couples and women, be courteous to single men. Most of us are normal, everyday, likeable guys who are just looking for some good sex with fun people. It's not our fault that we outnumber you on this site 10 to 1! All you have to do is state politely in your profile that you're not looking for men. I know many will try to contact you anyway, but is that any reason to be rude and vindictive in your profile? Your tone with the single men is a big indicator of how you will interact with the people you're actually looking for.
3. Try not to be judgmental of married men. We're not all snakes. Many of us have complicated lives, and no two of us have the same home situation. If we're not your cup of tea, simply say so politely. I get tired, however, of those on this site who adopt a judgmental "holier-than-thou" tone towards married men. In my opinion, no one on a swingers/sex hookup site (including myself) has a lock on the moral high ground!
4. Be courteous to those of us who are older, bald, or have less than perfect bodies. We're sexual beings too. A special word to women my age who are looking for younger men...gals, those young pups not only don't know how to please you, but they could care less about pleasing you. When I was in my 20s, I didn't know jackshit about pleasing a woman, and cared mainly about getting myself off. Now it arouses me even more to see that my partner is enjoying herself by having sex with me.
5. If you're speaking on messenger with someone, don't just hang up on them! Would you just hang up on someone who called you on the phone? (Well, maybe you would with a sales call...) It's rude, insulting, and degrading to the person with whom you're speaking. A simple "sorry, but I'm really not interested...good luck finding what you're looking for" will suffice, then simply don't answer future pages.
6. If someone says hello to you in a chat room and is being polite, don't be rude to them, even if they're not what you're looking for. Show other people the same common courtesy you would expect towards yourself. The geographical chat rooms are extremely cliqueish. Break out of your cliques, people, and you might discover some other really nice people. Remember, you were a newbie in the room at one time yourself!
7. If you make a date with someone, show up or call ASAP with an explanation for why you can't make it. For every date I've had with someone from Local Sexy Swingers, I've had 5 no-shows with no explanation--and half the dates were anywhere from half an hour to 2 hours late. Doing so is immensely disrespectful of your date's time, which could have been spent doing something else.
8. Be honest with the other person if you're not interested in being with them any further. One of the worst experiences I've ever had was last night..actually someone from Craigslist, but it's a typical Local Sexy Swingers story. I'd been talking with this woman for 2 weeks in preparation for meeting. We went out for dinner and drinks, had a good time (or so I thought), then planned to rent a hot tub. She said she needed to run home and "get her suit" and would meet me. She never showed back up, wouldn't answer my calls or texts, and 2 hours later had the gall to post another ad on CL looking to hook up with someone that evening! I'd made a reservation for the hot tub and had to pay for it. I wouldn't have been offended if she was honest and said that she didn't feel attraction and would rather go home. I was much more upset by her dishonesty.
All of these rules basically boil down to the Golden Rule...Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It's a guideline that has become all too rare in this world, and I'd like to see it make a comeback!
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