Looking, Lusting and Learning: A Straightforward Look at Pornography
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 11:49 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1411 Views
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Pornography is one of those complicated, weird issues in life. A lot of people are really uncomfortable with the idea of anyone, and especially teenagers, reading, looking at, or watching pornography of any kind. When you're a , this can make it very difficult to even have a basic conversation with the grownups in your life about pornography. It's hard even to know where to go to ask questions about it. This is pretty understandable: we're taught not to talk about sexual things in public, and pornography is definitely sexual.
A lot of us also grow up with the idea that pornography, or any directly arousing material, is somehow bad and wrong and that we shouldn't even want to look at it. The culture that we live in isn't very positive about sex or sexuality. People are taught to think of sex, and porn, as always being 'dirty' and 'icky,' or maybe 'sinful' or just 'ugly.'
Sex and porn can be many things, but most of all, they are sexual, and that makes them difficult to talk about. Sexuality is one of those things that we all have to deal with. Because it's such a primal part of who we are, it tends to make us feel very vulnerable if we have to talk about it. We don't want people to laugh at what we find arousing, and we don't want to be punished for having desires and wants that the people around us might not like us to have. As a result, most people don't talk much about what kind of sexual things they like, and they don't talk much about pornography or any other sort of sexual material, either. It's too personal, and it's too controversial, for many people's comfort!
This means that most people have a lot of questions about sexual issues like pornography that they can't get good, thoughtful, answers to. We here at Scarleteen don't have all the answers (heck, we don't even have all the questions!), but we can help make it a little less weird and freaky to talk about sex and porn by trying to bring some of the big questions out into the open. We think that knowing a bit more about what porn is, what it does, what it's for, why people like it, what it's good for, what it's not good for, what kinds of problems it can create, and what good it can do for you can help you form better, more thoughtful opinions about what role pornography has, or might have, in your sexuality and your life. Read on, and learn something about looking and lusting!
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Getting Real: Relationships on the Net
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 11:48 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1453 Views
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The Internet can be a great way to communicate - that's why this website is here, after all. Many people successfully find friends, girlfriends or boyfriends over the 'net , and some of my closest friends are people I first met online.
Because it doesn't involve going anywhere in person, and because it's so easy to be anonymous or control how much personal information you give out, the Internet can be a very safe way to explore and interact. But it's easy to go to the opposite extreme and imagine that the Internet is totally safe or that we don't need to take the common-sense precautions that we would take for granted elsewhere.
Hello World
When you're sitting in your own room looking at the computer screen, it's all too easy to forget how public the Internet is.
But if something's on a website or a bulletin board, anyone can read it. And that means anyone. One useful rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't want to put a particular bit of information on a billboard at the end of your street, you shouldn't post it on a website or announce it in a chat-room either.
In particular, that also means being very, very cautious about telling people your real name or phone number (let alone where you live), or where you go to school, or any other information that might be used to identify you or find you ' especially if it's alongside intimate details about your sex life or emotional problems.
Even posting your e-mail address can get you deluged in spam and/or very weird messages from strangers who may come across it and decide to e-mail you. I run a website, so every morning I have to clear out a virtual pile of e-mails offering me everything from penis enlargement to plans for an alien spacecraft. Sometimes it's just ridiculous and annoying, but I've also been sent stuff which has revolted or frightened me.
So be choosy about who you give your details to. Once you've given them out, you can't take them back. Don't give someone information like your phone number unless you're absolutely certain that you want that person to be able to contact you again.
And remember that information can travel. Once a photo or a personal confidence leaves your computer and goes to someone else's, you can't control where it goes next. If an online friend turns out to be deceiving you, or even if their feelings about you change and they want to hurt you later, your private information has passed into their hands - and they can post it or share it wherever they want.The Scary Stuff
Okay, you've probably heard this before. But some of the horror stories are true.
The Internet makes it very, very easy for people to flat-out lie about who they are. Someone who says they're a 14-year-old girl might actually be a 40-year-old man (or vice versa).
Some people will build up amazingly elaborate and entirely false identities and stories. This might be because they're exploring different identities and don't realize how hurtful it can be to people they deceive. Sometimes people treat the Internet as their own personal fantasy computer game, and forget that they're interacting with real live human beings.
Some people lie in a misguided attempt to get attention and sympathy. They may think that they'll get more support from others if they make up dramatic stories or ask for help with a crisis for example, falsely claiming that their parents have died, or that they have cancer.
Others get off on fooling people they might get a sense of power out of manipulating others, or see it as a 'prank' and not be aware of the pain it can cause.
And sometimes people lie out of more sinister motives.
There are a few people out there who are out to exploit or hurt teenagers or young people, especially those who seem vulnerable. Some of them will use the Internet to 'groom' people for abuse getting you so involved and emotionally dependent on them that you won't protest when things get nasty.
Sometimes the abuse takes place online: for example, someone masturbating while they pretend to sympathize with your problems - or it may progress to a physical attack. There are real cases where people have been assaulted, harmed or even killed by someone who they met online.
So don't switch off your common sense. For example, if someone's stories don't add up, if something they tell you turns out to be untrue (even if they have a plausible-sounding excuse), or if they start insisting that you don't tell anyone else about them or that you meet up secretly, that's when the alarm bells in your head should start ringing loud and clear and you should clear the area, for good.Reality Check
Most of the people you meet on the Internet aren't going to be out to get you. But there's another sort of con-job the one we can do to ourselves.
Even when everyone's telling the truth, people naturally act differently in different mediums. I hate talking on the phone, for example, so someone who'd only ever spoken to me on the phone would probably think of me as monosyllabic and tetchy. Someone who comes over as confident on the net may be really shy in a face-to-face conversation.
The Internet makes it very easy to control how you present yourself. People can't see your expression or your body language, or hear your tone of voice, or observe how you behave in everyday life. They can't talk to your friends or family or other people who know you. And you can spend hours re-writing an e-mail to make just the impression you want.
Those aren't always bad things. But it means it's important to remember that if you only know someone from the 'net, you only know one limited aspect of them. You may know some very intimate things about an online friend, and still be totally surprised by what they're like if you meet them in person.
Sometimes you'll meet up with someone and find you 'click' just as much as you do online. But sometimes, many times, you won't. That's just a fact of life, and it's a reality you need to be prepared to accept.
In addition, when there are lots of things we don't know about someone, our imagination usually fills in the gaps. And we tend to imagine people just the way we'd like them to be. That makes it very easy to convince ourselves that someone is 'perfect', especially when we're all excited about a new relationship.
But, as the man said in Some Like It Hot, nobody's perfect.
Everyone has flaws: it's part of being human. And no two people are going to agree about everything or like exactly the same things. Those flaws and differences may be no big deal, they may take some work and negotiation to live with, or they may be so major that you can't get past them - or shouldn't try to. But they're going to be there, and having a relationship means dealing with all of that.
Does that mean you can't get to know and like someone on the Internet? Not at all. But if you convince yourself before you've even met in person that they're the most perfect wonderful special person the world has ever known and undoubtedly your predestined soul-mate well, you're setting yourself up to take a big emotional fall.
One particularly important thing you can't tell over the Internet is whether or not you'll have any physical chemistry with someone - even a photo can only give you a vague hint, since chemistry isn't just about one person finding another visually attractive.
It's easy to tell yourself that mere physical details don't matter and you love someone for their mind. But it can be awkward and painful if you decide that someone is the love of your life and then meet them and find that they don't turn you on at all. They may be a nice person, they may be very good-looking - but they don't happen to ring your bell, or something about them grates on you. And you can't force yourself to feel attracted to someone when you just don't.
So it's not a smart idea to commit yourself to a romantic/sexual relationship before you've actually met someone face-to-face and spent time together. It's okay to discuss the possibilities - but leave room for both of you to back off and decide to be 'just friends'.
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Life on the Inside
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 11:36 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1473 Views
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If you put your finger inside your vagina, towards your belly, not your back, you may feel a spongy length of tissue that is a bit like the roof of your mouth in texture (if you have short fingers, you may not be able to). That is the infamous g-spot, or Grafenburg Spot, another potential source of, or contributor to, sexual pleasure or orgasm. Understand, however, that not all women find the g-spot being touched or stimulated to be pleasurable, and it doesn't lead to orgasm magically in every woman. It isn't a magic button, it is simply another part of your genital anatomy that is responsive to pleasure. In addition, stimulation of the g-spot may also lead to an orgasm in which some women ejaculate, or release fluid from the urethra. This is not urine, even though it may feel that way. As well, women can ejaculate from orgasm with or without g-spot stimulation.
If you poke your finger deeply into your vagina, you'll feel something deep inside that feels like a nose or a dimpled chin. This is your cervix, which is the base of the uterus, where, if you were pregnant, a baby would grow. The cervix is the passage through which sperm travel to meet the egg, but don't worry -- nothing but sperm can usually fit in there. In other words, you can't "lose" a tampon or a toy or anything else in your vagina, because it ends with your cervix.Once you take your fingers out of your vagina, follow the trail of your genitals a bit lower. Right under your vaginal opening is a flat length of skin called the perineum (pair-ee-nay-uhm). Below the perineum is your anus. The anus is the opening to your rectum, through which your bowel movements pass through from your bowel. Some women enjoy touching or rubbing their anus, as well as having it licked, or for having anal intercourse. Some women do not. Again, we all vary. The important thing to recognize is that, first, if you shower or bathe regularly, your anus is not dirty, because feces (bowel movements) are not stored there or in your rectum. Only trace amounts of feces may remain there. However, anal sex of any sort is generally less safe than vaginal sex for several reasons. First, the anus does not have any natural lubrication of it's own, and the anal tissues are far more delicate and susceptible to tearing than the vaginal tissues. That makes anal sex potentially more painful, as well as less safe as far as the spread of STDs. If you want to explore your anus either alone or with a partner, be sure to use lots of lubricant (like KY Jelly, or Astroglide - never oils or butters or Vaseline), and gloves and/or condoms and plenty of caution and patience.
Take a look at your vulva a few times, and experiment touching it to find out how you really work down there. Though our anatomy has the same components, every woman is different in both the appearance and the experience of our genitals. There are no "magic" buttons that please us all the same, and the only way to find out what you like, and what you're comfortable with, is to get to know yourself and your body on your own.
Above all else, understand that your genitals are really no different from any other part of your anatomy. They aren't something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, and in many cultures a woman's genitals are thought of as sacred, and indeed, they are. Treat them with honor, and let them bring you joy.
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The Infamous Clitoris
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 11:35 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1544 Views
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Looking at the vestibule, between those inner labia from the top down (right below your mons), you'll first see top of the the inner labia, which create a little skin fold called the clitoral hood. That hood connects to the glans, which is the tip -- and only the tip -- of the clitoris (klit-or-iss). If you pull up the hood with your fingers, you can get a closer look. In women, the clitoris, which in total, is nearly of the same size as the male penis, is usually the most sensitive spot of the vulva. In fact, it is created of the same sort of erectile tissue that the head of a penis is created of (for an interesting comparison of male and female genital organs, see here). Before we are born, until about the sixth week of our lives as an embryo, our sexual organs are slightly developed, but are completely the same.If you feel the clitoris with your fingers, you'll probably feel a tingle or a tickle. Rubbing it a bit, you can feel a hardish portion that is the shaft of the clitoris. The clitoris (sometimes called the "clit" or the "spot") is the primary source of most female genital sensation. When you masturbate, it is what you will most likely (but not always) touch and manipulate to pleasure yourself. The clitoris is, in fact, the only organ on the entire body that is solely for sexual arousal, and is attached to ligaments, muscles and veins that become filled with blood during arousal (when you get sexually excited) and contract during orgasm. The clitoris is what most women like to have stimulated during oral or digital (with hands and fingers) sex, during masturbation, and during intercourse, and not just the tip of shaft. The clitoris is internal as well as external -- and the whole thing is a lot bigger than it looks from the outside -- with legs, called crura, that are within the outer labia, as well as the clitoral (or vestibular)bulbs, which surround part of the lower portion of the vaginal canal.All of us are different in how and where we like our clitorises touched (or if we do at all!). For some, rubbing too fast or hard, or right on the tip or shaft may be uncomfortable, but for others, it's just the thing. Like near anything else in sex, the best way to find out is to experiment by masturbating.Looking lower, you will see another hood-like shape. Right below that shape is a teeny, tiny, barely visible little dot or slit, which is your urethra or urinary opening, where you urinate (or pee) from. Below that is the vaginal opening (sometimes called a "slit" or "hole") It's important to notice how close the urinary opening is to the vaginal opening. Because of this, sometimes sexual activity can bring bacteria which infect the urinary opening, so it's important during sexual activity to both empty your bladder before and after, and to be sure your or your partners hands, mouth or other organs are clean.Around the vaginal opening, you may see your hymen (high-men). Your hymen may or may not be there, and that isn't always because of sex. Long ago (and still sometimes today) it was thought that the hymen was "evidence" of whether or not a woman had had sexual intercourse, but that is not the case at all. Not even all women are born with intact hymens! When someone is talking about "popping a cherry," this is what they are referring to, though it's really a misnomer. Your hymen is usually easily stretched or eroded with fairly basic physical activity, tampon use, masturbation, or other things. Even if your hymen is intact, it rarely covers that opening completely, but has little holes and perforations in it. Even after it has been torn or stretched, little folds of tissue remain. During first intercourse, pain or bleeding you experience may be due to stretching your hymen, and is perfectly normal. However, that pain or bleeding may well also be because you had sex without being aroused enough to be properly lubricated, or did not use extra lubricant if needed. On the other hand, there are some women whose hymens simply are so thick, or have such a small opening, that it is indeed painful to have intercourse or penetrate the vagina otherwise, and sometimes a medical procudre need be done to remedy that. All in all, there are many reasons for sexual pain, and stretching the hymen is only one of many.Now, slide your finger into your vaginal opening, and squeeze your vaginal walls (engaging what are commonly called PC -- pubococcygeus -- or Kegel muscles), just like you were trying to hold it in when you have to urinate, or when you're trying to stop the flow of your urine. You can feel a lot of folds of skin and different textures, and see how the vagina (which is the passage between the vaginal opening and the cervix) can hold you fingers. That is the same way it hold a tampon, a penis, or a during labor.Your vagina may be wetter or dryer right now depending on your menstrual cycle. Right after you've had your period, or when you aren't aroused you'll generally be dryer, and about two weeks into your cycle, or when you are aroused, you'll be a bit wetter. The mucus, or "discharge" from your vagina, which you'll sometimes see on your underpants, may vary in texture, scent and color greatly. Many women are disturbed by this, but there is no need to be, and trying to get rid of that mucus with douching or other methods is not healthy, as that mucus keeps your vagina clean of bacteria and maintains a careful acid balance vital to your health. If you're ever in doubt about vaginal discharge, the best thing to do is to call your doctor. In general, however, unless the mucus is spotted with blood and you aren't on your period, makes you itch at all, or is greenish in hue, it's probably healthy, normal discharge.
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Anatomy: Pink Parts - Female Sexual Anatomy
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 11:31 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1438 Views
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A lot of questions about how to have intercourse, how to masturbate, and worries about what's all going on down there can be solved by simply getting to know your own body. In fact, I'd gander to say that before you let anyone else get to know it, you'd best know it yourself as well as you know your own face. Just like you wouldn't go out rollerblading until you knew where the brakes were, how to fix the bearings on your wheels, or how to find your way home from the park where you blade, the same holds true with your sexual anatomy.Go get yourself a mirror, make sure you have some real privacy (or at least a door that locks) and use some quality time to get to know your body and yourself. We'll just look at what you can see and feel, to get you started. Sit with your panties off, and your legs spread open, and get ready to take a good look.Vulva, not vagina
The proper name for the outer female genitals is the vulva (vuhl-vah).
The vagina is only one part of these organs, and not the whole of them, and many people mistakenly call the vulva the vagina. Where your pubic hair is, below your belly button, is a fatty area of tissue (skin) called the mons (mahns). Your pubic hair will move downward, as will that fatty tissue, around your labia majora (lay-bee-ah) or "lips." If you pull your outer labia open, you will see your labia minora, or lips, which are not covered with hair, and look a bit like flower petals or two teeny-tiny tongues. The size, length and color of the inner labia will differ from woman to woman. They may be long and thick, or barely visible, and may look purple, red, pink, blackish or brown, depending on your own coloring. All of these variations are absolutely normal, as are the labia being two different sizes or shapes. The purpose of your inner labia is pretty important; they keep icky bacteria away from what is called the vestibule.
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Sex for Sale???????
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 5:39 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1570 Views
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Commercial sex is a major industry in the United States and increasingly around the world. Two prominent aspects of it are and pornography.
Commercial sex workers engage in partnered sexual activity in return for payment, such as money, gifts, or drugs. There are several venues in which they work in the United States, including their own homes, in-call services, out-call services, and massage parlors. The working conditions, risks, and income of a sex worker depend on the setting. Third parties who may be involved include a , madam, or manager; the involvement of these people generally limits a worker's autonomy. Sex trafficking involves exploitation and is a major problem.
Research suggests that a sex worker's well-being depends upon the risk level of the setting in which she works, the reasons she entered sex work, and whether she experienced victimization as a or adolescent.
Data indicate that the use of prostitutes has declined substantially in the United States in the past 50 years. About one-half of the of female workers are occasional johns; the other 50 percent are repeat . Some men rely on sex workers for their sexual outlet.
Some male sex workers serve a female clientele. They may work as , employees of massage parlors, or gigolos. Hustlers cater to a male homosexual clientele.
Distinctions are made among pornography (sexually arousing art, literature, or film), obscenity (material offensive to authorities or society), and erotica (sexual material that shows men and women in equal, humane relationships). Pornographic magazines, films, and videocassettes, both soft core (erotica) and hard core, are a multibillion-dollar business. Computer porn has mushroomed in the past 20 years; people can discuss explicit sexual activity online, read sexually arousing stories, download sexually explicit images, or purchase a variety of goods and services at adult Web sites. , often runaways, are the star victims in kiddie porn.
Some feminists object to pornography on the grounds that it debases women, encourages violence against women, and portrays unequal relationships between men and women.
Social-psychological research indicates that exposure to portrayals that the viewer finds acceptable is arousing to both men and women. Men are more likely to report arousal than women. Massive exposure leads to more favorable attitudes toward the behavior observed. Some studies find that exposure to violent pornography creates more tolerant attitudes toward violence against women, but others find no such effect. Exposure to portrayals of consenting heterosexual activity leads to an increase in sexual thoughts and behavior. Exposure to portrayals of sexual or nonsexual violence toward women increases men's aggression against women. Education about the effects of pornography is probably the best solution to the problems created by pornography.
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JOKE....JUDGING THE SIZE
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 3:33 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1427 Views
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A woman sought the advice of a sex therapist, confiding that she found it increasingly difficult to find a man who could satisfy her, and that it was very wearisome getting in and out of all these short term relationships.
"Isn't there some way to judge the size of a man's equipment from the outside?" she asked earnestly.
"The only foolproof way, is by the size of his feet," counseled the therapist.
So the woman went downtown and proceeded to cruise the streets, until she came across a young fellow standing in an unemployment line with the biggest feet she had ever laid her eyes on. She took him out to dinner, wined and dined him, and then took him back to her apartment for an evening of abandon.
When the man woke up the next morning, the woman had already gone but, by the bedside table was a $20 bill and a note that read, "With my compliments, take this money and go out and buy a pair of shoes that fit you."
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So, how do I know if I'm not heterosexual?
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:56 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1468 Views
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As touched on at the beginning, there are certain clues that you may be gay, lesbian or bisexual.
• Are you attracted, physically and emotionally, to members of the same sex often? In other words, have you felt attracted to members of the same sex in regards to a few different people? Are you, or have you been, in love with or crushing on someone who is of the same sex?
• Do members of the same sex enter into your sexual fantasy life on a regular basis?
• Do you feel that on a few levels, you just don't fit in with others your age, outside of things like your clothes, social class or nationality?
• Do you feel that typical gender or relationship roles (such as girls wearing skirts or being softspoken, or men being macho or gruff, just to name a couple) don't fit you well, or seem incongruous? (It should be mentioned that discomfort with gender roles can also be about gender dysphoria, about sexual inequality, or simply about discomfort with the limited and binary way our world so often views gender.) Sometimes, gay, lesbian and bisexual people have a hard time feeling like traditional gender roles fit them, usually because so many of those roles can be heterosexist.
• Do you often feel bored, or just not excited by going out with members of the opposite sex? Does dating, or dating only, members of the opposite-sex feel forced?
• Have you ever suspected or feared that you might be homosexual or bisexual?
Obviously, any one of these things is something that may happen to all of us, even if we're heterosexual, at least a few times. But if a few of them sound familiar, you feel that way often, and you're at the stage of your life where you are able to have a decent perspective on your sexuality and relationships from past experience, you may be gay or bisexual.
No one but you can assign an orientation or an identity to you. What you call yourself, how you identify, and when you identify (and this may not be solid -- for some of us, in our lives, identity shifts and is fluid to some degree) is all your choice. The important thing is that you do what you can to make your self comfortable and at peace with yourself, that you are honest with yourself and your friends, family and/or partners, and that you realize you have as much time as you want or need to find out who you are.
Your sexuality is with you through your whole lifetime: it isn't going to run away from you if you don't catch it. Check through sites like this one and other GBLT information. Go to a youth group for gay, lesbian or bisexual teens, or see if your school has a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). Talk to another trusted adult or peer who is homosexual or bisexual. Explore the possibilities, and go with what is comfortable for you. Ultimately, you're the person you have to live with and own up to every day: trying to make yourself into something you aren't, or fight who you feel you really are may seem like the easier thing to do in the short run, but in the long run it not only damages you, it damages everyone around you.
No matter who you are, or what stage of understanding who you are, you're at, be proud of yourself. If you're sincere, open, honest and loving, and act with integrity, no matter what your orientation is, you're someone to be proud of.
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Is it a sin?.........So, IS it a sin?
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:55 am
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2008 6:40 am
1752 Views
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First, bear in mind that the concept of sin does not run through all religious traditions, and that there are many, many other traditions outside Christianity and Catholicism. In fact, other traditions combined make up the majority of the world's religious and spiritual traditions: Catholicism is not by any means the overriding traditioIif you are basing the concept of what is right and what is wrong on the Bible, you need to bear in mind that it is a very old series of texts, in which some things that could be considered RIGHT and acceptable(and sanctioned by the old testament) then, such as:
a being killed if they cursed their parent
a woman being stoned for not being a virgin on her wedding night
slavery
the domination, or abuse of women
a person guilty of adultery (cheating) being killed
and abuse
...are things we consider very wrong now.
Some things considered wrong then, such as:
charging interest on a loan
shaving or getting a hair cut
sex during menstruation
the cross-breeding of animals
sex outside of marriage
eating certain animals
and women wearing pants
...by general opinion most of us think are okay now.
The things listed above are all addressed in the Bible, just as premarital sex and homosexuality are, and are parts of biblical rules and laws, but are often overlooked or ignored by those insisting homosexuality or premarital sex is wrong, though they are all considered just as important Biblically.
According to religioustolerance.org, "In order to comprehend what the Bible says about gay and lesbian relationships, we must pass over the references to homosexual , male sexual abuse of boys, and homosexual , orgies, Pagan sexual rituals in temples, etc. We would be left with only those references relating to consensual sexual activities within homosexual partnerships. There may not be any of these.
"However, there are descriptions of close and intimate relationships between members of the same gender. But there are no unambiguous passages that show that they were sexually active. One is forced to conclude that the Bible often condemns heterosexual and homosexual exploitive, manipulative sex, and , but may be totally silent on consensual homosexual relationships."
In other words, homosexuality when addressed at all in the Bible, is mainly discussed in the context of sexual situations where both parties were not consenting or willing to participate: in the context of the of men and boys (even though the of women and girls, mind, is often given the thumbs-up in the Bible).
"One is left with many Biblical passages which condemn fornication -- sex outside of marriage. If one were to accept these passages as inspired by God, then one can conclude that the Bible considers homosexual sex within a committed relationship equivalent to premarital sex between a man and a woman. That is, homosexual activity within a committed relationship is morally equivalent to a man and woman living together common-law without being married."
They also add that, "The Bible says nothing about sexual orientation for the same reason why it does not mention television sets and airplanes. The concept of orientation dates only from the late 19th century and only began to be seriously investigated in the middle of the 20th century."
Too? Both the old and new testament contain many messages directing people to love others generously, not to limit who they give love to and feel it for.
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Is it an illness or mental illness? Are homosexuals or bisexuals sick?
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:51 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1453 Views
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Absolutely not. Psychological and sexual research has shown clearly that orientation in and of itself is not a cause for emotional or social problems. More often, when such problems are associated with homosexuality or bisexuality they are rooted in the nonacceptance of those orientations, and taunting, scolding or punishment because of the perceptions of them. The APA adds that, "Homosexuality was thought to be a mental illness in the past because mental health professionals and society had biased information about homosexuality since most studies only involved lesbians and gay men in therapy. When researchers examined data about gay people who were not in therapy, the idea that homosexuality was a mental illness was found to be untrue."
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Do we choose our orientation?
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:50 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1378 Views
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Most sexuality researchers and scholars agree that orientation is fixed and unchangeable to some degree, though how we enact it, how we identify, and what it means for us as individuals is more mutable. While we choose what to call ourselves, and perhaps go through many different stages in our lives to really feel out who and what we are on many different levels, for the most part, our orientation is believed to be at least partially hard-coded into us from a very early age.
The American Psychological Association states that, "sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. And some people report trying very hard over many years to change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual with no success. For these reasons, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation for most people to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed."
If you're heterosexual, ask yourself if you can choose who, of the opposite gender, you're attracted to? Can you really choose, or does it often seem pretty random and out of your control, perhaps even surprising? Can you choose who you love? Remember: sexual orientation isn't just about sex or having sex: it's also about who we love.
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What does it mean to be homosexual or bisexual?
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:49 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1469 Views
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Typically, a homosexual is defined as someone who is exclusively or primarily attracted, physically and emotionally, to others of the same sex. A bisexual is defined as someone who can be or is attracted to those of either sex, though not necessarily both at the same time. In other words, like heterosexuals, homosexuals and bisexuals can be monogamous. A heterosexual is someone attracted exclusively or primarily to those of the opposite sex. Some people find these three spheres or orientations very limiting, because not everyone fits neatly into them, but instead, is attracted to different sexes -- and genders -- by varying degrees. For instance, a bisexual may be MOSTLY attracted to women, but sometimes attracted to men. A homosexual or heterosexual may occasionally be attracted to those of the opposite sphere, or someone's gender identity may be a bigger point of attraction than their biological sex. If that is the case for you, it does not mean you are not what you think you are. Homosexuality, heterosexuality and bisexuality are only terms to generalize sexual orientation in the widest sense. Ultimately, you should choose which ever term makes you comfortable, or even create your own if none of them seem to feel right.
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The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer
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Posted:Jul 13, 2008 2:49 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2024 12:3 am
1420 Views
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For most of us, realizing that we're gay or bisexual isn't something that happens overnight. We don't go to sleep straight one day and wake up gay the next (or the opposite). Perhaps we have had crushes on people of the same sex, or perhaps we have felt very distinctly that our gender or sexual roles just aren't comfortable for us. While things that like certainly don't mean we are gay or bisexual, they are clues that we might be. As we get to know the whole of ourselves better as we grow and mature, we also get a better understanding and fuller knowledge of our sexuality and orientation, and getting to understand who we are isn't something we can do in a day: it's a lifelong process.The first step -- no matter our orientation -- to making decisions about our sexual identity, and how we view that of others, is to know the answers to some basic questions. It's very hard to make up our minds when we aren't all on the same page, or we aren't really sure what something means. Bear in mind that even people with adequate information sometimes don't agree with it, and define things differently because that information conflicts with their own beliefs, biases or fears. All the same, there are some important facts that all of us -- gay, straight, and everything in between -- should know.
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