Beautiful words....
|
Posted:Aug 3, 2009 8:52 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 6:56 pm
998 Views
|
The fish said to the sea: "You can't see my tears cause i'm in the sea"
The sea in turn said to the fish: "But I can feel your tears cause you're in my heart."
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Generation Y
|
Posted:Jul 30, 2009 8:26 am
Last Updated:Aug 24, 2009 11:55 am
1087 Views
|
- The Silent Generation are people born before 1946.
- The Baby Boomers are people born between 1946 and 1959.
- Generation X are people born between 1960 and 1979.
- Generation Y are people born between 1980 and 1995..
Why do we call the last one generation Y?
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
This is really something....:)
|
Posted:Jul 30, 2009 8:12 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2009 11:13 pm
1210 Views
|
Imagine how everyone was obliged to remain calm and orderly during the exchange.
Below are some extracts from a book called “Disorder in the American Courts” that were taken down word for word while these exchanges were actually taking place and now published by reporters.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest , the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shi * in' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________________
-- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Miscommunication....
|
Posted:Jul 29, 2009 10:05 am
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2009 10:55 am
1055 Views
|
Memo from CEO to Manager:-
Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for 2 mins. AS this is something that cannot be seen everyday, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staffs should meet in the lot at 10 to 11, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.
Memo from Manager to Dept Head:-
Today at 10 o'clock, all staffs should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for 2 mins. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with googles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Memo from Dept Head to Floor Manager:-
The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for 2 mins in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen everyday, so staff will meet in the car park at 10 or 11. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.
Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor:-
10 or 11 staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for 2 mins. This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.
Memo from Supervisor to staffs:-
Some staff will go to the car park to see the CEO disappear. It it a pity this doesn't happen everyday.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
It's always the asshole that is in charge
|
Posted:Jul 29, 2009 9:54 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 6:56 pm
1058 Views
|
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go.
Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.
To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and
Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
friend.......
|
Posted:Jul 27, 2009 6:55 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2009 9:29 am
1203 Views
|
hmmm...how true...
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Suck by own kind.....
|
Posted:Jul 27, 2009 12:03 am
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2009 1:03 am
1152 Views
|
There was this effeminate gay from this website who offered to perform blowjob for me. "she" said that her blowjob is very good which i personally believed as having a cock "herself", "she" would knows how a guy would like to be suck.
Like wise for gals, a gal would lick better than any men...as they will know where and how a gal would like to be licked.
However I turned down the offer... maybe i am not used to having my cock handled by another guy....or my ass being poke by another cock.. or maybe i am afraid I would ended up falling in love with another guy.....
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Wat Andy Rooney thinks about women above 40
|
Posted:Jul 26, 2009 11:28 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2024 6:56 pm
1084 Views
|
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Beautiful lines
|
Posted:Jul 26, 2009 11:24 am
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2009 1:17 am
1409 Views
|
To realize the Value of a Sister:
Ask someone who doesn't have one
To realize the Value of 10 Years :
Ask a newly divorced couple
To realize the Value of 4 years:
Ask a graduate
To realize the Value of 1 year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam
To realize the Value of 9 months :
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born
To realize the Value of 1 month :
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby
To realize the Value of 1 week :
Ask an Editor of a weekly newspaper
To realize the Value of 1 hour :
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet
To realize the Value of 1 minute :
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane
To realize the Value of 1 second :
Ask a person who has survived an accident
To realize the Value of a millisecond :
Ask a person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics
To realize the Value of a Friend..
LOSE ONE
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
And then the fight starts......
|
Posted:Jul 20, 2009 11:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2009 6:48 pm
1079 Views
|
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'an inch of dust!!'
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the
window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And then the fight started....
-----------------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
WTF!!
|
Posted:Jul 19, 2009 8:45 am
Last Updated:Jul 22, 2009 5:27 pm
1149 Views
|
got a pm from a man....
quote
yo bro, meet any ger in Local Sexy Swingers b4?
any recommendation?
unquote
WTF!!!! do i looked like a or wat?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Equations.....
|
Posted:Jul 19, 2009 12:21 am
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2009 7:03 pm
1071 Views
|
Equation 1
In general, Mankind = eating + sleeping + working + playing
Pig = eating + sleeping
Mankind = pig + working + playing
Mankind ‒ playing = pig + working
Conclusion :
those mankind who don’t know how to play is equal to a pig that goes to work..
Equation 2
Man = eating + sleeping + earn money
Pig = eating + sleeping
Man = pig + earn money
Pig = man ‒ earn money
Conclusion :
As such, man that dont wish to earn money is equal to pig
Equation 3
Woman = eating + sleeping + spending money
Pig = eating + sleeping
Woman = pig + spending money
Woman ‒ spending = pig
Conclusion :
As such, woman who don’t know how to spend money is equal to pig
Final conclusion :
Becos man do not want to let his woman turn to be a pig, so he chose to work and earn money
Becos woman don’t want to let her man turn to pig so she spend money
Man + Woman = pig + earn money + pig + spending money
Man + Woman = 2 pigs
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (wind_stalker_71) use [blog wind_stalker_71] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
|
81
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
291
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
