Raise Your Sexual Self-esteem
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:36 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
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According to Canadian researchers in a study published in CyberPsychology & Behavior, the more time spent on Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites actually increased feelings of jealousy one may have towards their partner.
The theory goes that the information one is privy to on these sites can turn curiosity into anxiety regarding past partners and perceived threats to a relationship, which leads to jealousy.
So practice caution, and take stock of the situation before you find yourself in a stalking situation.
Look at Really Hot (REA Women
In case you needed reminding on this point, the women you’re looking at in magazines and on TV are not the real women that you see around you in your day-to-day, let alone what real men are after!Take a break from mass media to hit the gym and see what us people in the real world look like, and remind yourself that sexy takes many forms, including yours!
Tune In
This bit of advice is still as true as it ever was – putting on some tracks you deem sexy can affect your feelings toward getting romantic. It’s a mood altering substance that can change the way you feel about yourself and everything around you.
What do we suggest? Pick up L-O-V-E: The Essential Al Green, Lover’s Rock by Sade, or the self-titled debut album by The xx – if these don’t get you in an amorous mood, nothing will!
Put the Stopwatch Down
If entertainment is anything to go by, good sex is a calendar-clearing event that lasts hours at a time.If your usual encounters are clocking in at less than ten minutes, don’t assume that your bedroom time trials are lacking – a 2008 survey of North America’s top sex therapists revealed that sex classified as ‘normal and good’ lasts between 3 and 13 minutes!
Wear Something Slinky
Clichés begin from truth, but when if it works, it works; one of the fastest and easiest ways to get your mood from zero to sexy is with some lingerie. It doesn’t have to be tight, it doesn’t have to be lacy or delicate, but if the intended look is a sensual one, it will do the trick.
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BITE. CHEW. SWALLOW. HOW EATING SLOWER COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:32 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2014 6:32 am
7012 Views
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What did you have for lunch yesterday?
I honestly can’t remember what I was eating. I remember the project I was working on, and the emails I responded to, but I barely remember the meal itself. Because I ate it so quickly that it was a blip in my day. This is a post for all the workaholics and fast eaters out there (myself included).
Although I can’t remember the meal, I do remember the sluggish feeling I had all afternoon. I did some research to figure out exactly why eating too quickly can be bad, or rather, why eating slowly is so much healthier.
1. Reduce Stress
I recommend 5-10 minutes of mindfulness to many of my dealing with stress. They struggle even to find those 10 minutes. Lunch time is easily transformed into a meditative practice when you bring thoughtfulness and patience to eating your food. Bring awareness to each bite and chew with patience. Breathe deeply between bites. Set aside all your devices and don’t eat ANYWHERE near where you work. Just try this and see what happens.
2. Improved Digestion
Chew your food! This is the first line of defense during healthy digestion. You will avoid so many health issues simply by chewing your food more thoroughly. The few extra seconds of chewing also allows the mucous in your mouth break down your food. It takes the burden off your stomach and lower intestines, so you’ll feel energized and healthier. It’s a great way of fighting against many chronic diseases that are exacerbated by inflammation caused by irritated and overworked digestion systems.
3. Weight Loss
Numerous studies have been released over the past few years that verify eating slow directly links to eating fewer calories. It takes 20 minutes for our stomach to tell our brain that it is full. There is also the split second between bites where we often forget to ask ourselves whether we are hungry or just bored. When you work towards eating healthier foods and also eating slower at each meal, you will make weight loss easy to accomplish.
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5 Orgasm Facts You Need to Know
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:29 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
7381 Views
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Ancient Buddhist teachings say that trying to use words to describe life’s most wondrous feelings—peace and enlightenment for example—strips them of their true essence. And while most of us might be a few karma points short of enlightenment, we could all agree that experiencing an orgasm – indeed, one of life’s great pleasures – is truly impossible to put into words.
G-Spot. Fact or fiction?
Fact. Named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg after the “zone of erogenous feeling located along the suburethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall,” the G-Spot is the sensitive, bean-shaped pleasure point typically located about two inches up the front of the vaginal wall between the vaginal opening and the urethra.
Due to its tricky location about one centimeter under the vaginal surface, the G-Spot isn’t often stimulated through vaginal intercourse alone, but using a G-spot massager has done the trick for millions of women the world over!
Will aging lessen my chances of having an orgasm?
On the contrary. According to research scientists at Indiana University, women actually experience better orgasms with age. As far as the findings go, 61 percent of women ages 18 to 24 report having had an orgasm the last time they had sex, while 65 percent of women in their 30s and 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s reported the same.
Based on statistics and surveys, experts explain that built up trust, comfort and intimacy with a long-term partner improves sexual confidence. In addition, older women are more sexually experienced, therefore better knowing their body’s actions, reactions and pleasure points.
Why am I the only one not having an orgasm?
Obviously, you’re far from being alone on this one. One-third of women experience difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, and a whopping 80 percent of women have difficulty reaching orgasm solely through vaginal intercourse. Unless you’ve experienced every sensation on every part of your female anatomy (which of course, you haven’t yet), there’s always a chance your sweet spot has yet to be discovered.
Is there a possibility that it’s all in my head?
Self-esteem and feelings of wellbeing can certainly play a part in your ability to fully enjoy sex and experience an orgasm, but if you’re healthy, it’s time to put your mind at ease. It’s also worth remembering that frequent orgasms are good for your health!
When it comes to the question of how to raise your sexual self-esteem, it can be as easy as putting on some mood-lifting tunes or even snacking on some sexually stimulating foods, because studies show that as confidence and an overall positive perception of yourself and your body image goes up, so do the odds of having an orgasm.
What can I do to better my chances of orgasm?
How did we know you’d ask that? First of all, go back and take a look at the way you’ve been having sex in the past—positions, foreplay, etc. Next, remember this: women who frequently experience orgasms are most willing to experiment with different techniques, positions, toys and combinations of all three. Finally, start your experimental journey of getting to know your body, and if you have a partner, appoint them as your guide.
While massagers, especially clitoral massagers like NEA, can help you dramatically increase your odds of orgasm, the most important entity in this equation is your own body.
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LESSONS IN ANAL (THAT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY)
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:27 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
7059 Views
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lking about anal sex is weird. At first.
But here goes.
First times are really special . Your first kiss, your first REAL kiss, the first time you got fingered in the backseat of your parent’s Subaru. These are moments that you look fondly back on for the rest of your life. But for some reason the first time you attempt anal sex is often the last time and it’s scarred in your memory as painful and embarrassing.
I’m not an anal sex expert – but I am a rare being (according to online forums) since I’ve never had a bad anal sex experience. I’ve had hilarious experiences, “meh” experiences and eventually incredibly deep/erotic/intimate experiences but there are some concrete lessons I’ve learned along the way.
1. It’s Not Me It’s You
I don’t usually badmouth men, but the backasswards expectations of guys is the #1 reason anal sex doesn’t work. Expectations for women is that they are supposed to “know what to do” and that men show up for the occasion. Women I’ve talked to have read books on the subject, practiced and prepared themselves mentally and emotionally for this. But, it’s men who are in the driver seat, and they disproportionately have the power to make it a good or bad experience. So read up!
2. Be a Boyscout
Actually is your boyfriend in the room? Could you go get him?
Hey dude – yes, I’m talking to you. Show up to the gunfight with a mother-fucking gun. Be prepared. Not just with a toolkit of lubes and toys and towels (although yes! to all those things). Be prepared to do more work. Foreplay is the biggest part of anal sex. A woman should be HIGHLY aroused. I’m talking best-sex-of-her-life aroused, so she can be in a good place for anal. This is your moment to completely be in charge, which is where the eroticism and excitement for most people comes from. So be ready for a long evening of gentle, passionate, understanding and take-charge sex that eventually will blow your mind.
3. I’m sorry – did you say something?
LADIES – If you need more foreplay (or more lube) to get comfortable. Ask.
4. Turn Back Around
What are you doing? I mentioned anal sex and you immediately turn around? No – turn back around. Rookie move.
The #1 mistake women make their first time is they get all “porny” and position themselves on all fours. This is THE most difficult and painful angle for a woman. Especially if you feel nervous – you’re completely vulnerable, staring at a wall instead of your lovers face. This is the worst.
My suggestion is a missionary position with your hips lifted with pillows. My personal favorite is spoon style, you really get a chance to connect your entire bodies and there’s more cooperative give and take of speed and depth. For well-endowed partners – these positions are far more comfortable and your body naturally moves in a direction that reduces friction and increases awesomeness.
5. Use Your Words
I am a lady. And you can be too. But in order to communicate what you want (and don’t want) you need to get used to saying poop and butt and anal.
So you best get over your giggles and learn to express yourself.
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THE ABSOLUTE DEAL BREAKER IN BED IS NOT WHAT YOU’D EXPECT. AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU’D EXPECT
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:25 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
6984 Views
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#5 – Unwelcome bodily functions
I think we can all agree that nothing kills the mood like a stanky fart. I know that isn’t very feminine to say, but the truth will set you free. Don’t do it. Leave the room “to get her a glass of water”.
#4 – Hogging the sheets or duvet
No one wants to wander your home groping the walls trying to find the thermostat so they don’t freeze to death. Share the duvet, ! Bonus points for having a duvet.
#3 – Snoring
You can’t control it, so this is an unfair answer. But at least give your partner some warning. If you’re hooking up it’s likely (and healthy) that you’ve had an awkward conversation about sexual diseases. Just tag it onto the end of that. After a woman hears you don’t have Herpes, snoring will seem like no biggie.
#2 – Dirty Sheets
There must have been a close run for #1 – because this is THE WORST. Do your goddamn laundry. If you’re old enough to be sexually active, you’re old enough to work a washer/dryer duo. No excuses. Wash that shit.
#1 – Too much cuddling
Woah! Woah! Really?
Yes. Apparently too much cuddling is an epidemic spreading the nation. But I get it. I need personally space so I can actually sleep.
Don’t take this too literally – a little cuddling is nice – but if you have to adjust, readjust and have a lengthy 3am conversation about your sleeping position, it might be better to cut your losses and split sides. There is no shame in that. And according to 44% of the people surveyed, you’re doing them a major favor!
Hilarious Note: Participants in the study were also asked about the weirdest bed-sharing habits they had ever encountered, which included finding a third party’s knickers beneath the sheets, having to share the bed with 30 cuddly toys, and being shown to a yoga mat and sleeping bag instead of a bed.
All of these things have happened to me or a friend in the last month. Just ask – I’ll tell you the story 
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THE MONOGAMOUS OPEN-RELATIONSHIP
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:21 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
7283 Views
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meet someone we like. We go on three dates with them. We sleep with them. If we keep sleeping with them we agree to be exclusive. We date for 3-5 years and then get engaged. Then 12-18 months later we get married. Then we stop having sex.
That has always been my understanding of how my relationships were supposed to go – and if STEP ONE didn’t move to STEP TWO in the appropriate timeframe, then he didn’t love me and I was “wasting my time”. This fucked up formulaic approach to relationships has painted couples into unhappy corners for years. After exploring a huge variety of monogamous and open relationships over the last ten years I have finally discovered the perfect balance. And honestly – it sounds fucking awesome but has yet to be tested. And for people who are NOT into open relationships – this might be more interesting (and less gross) than you think.
MY MONOGAMOUS OPEN-RELATIONSHIP PHILOSOPHY
1. Treat your lovers as people, and let relationships take the shapes they want, instead of the forms forced on them by culture. Build mind-blowing friendships and partnerships that last, as sex and attraction ebb and flow.
2. I can’t be EVERYTHING you need. You’ll never have EVERYTHING I need. That’s what friends are for.
The “monogamy” part is easy to understand. One partner. One lover. One relationship. Forever. Understanding the open-relationship part can be murkier waters. We don’t hear about it often, and when we do it’s in the context of reading about a senator caught leaving a secret sex party, or listening to our parents tell us about their friends from Santa Cruz. What I am talking about is VERY different. The “open” may have nothing to do with sex. It usually is more about honesty and expectations. And sometimes it’s about sex. Opening a relationship is an act of defining or re-defining what you want from a relationship with your partner. In my open relationships we have literally sat down with a bottle of wine and no judgements and negotiated the terms of our ideal relationship. It’s actually really fun! Going in with an understanding that compromises will need to be made and I won’t get everything I want, is a crucial part of the deal. But love is easier to embrace and not a burden, I got a hell of a lot closer to happiness than I had before! There is another part of the conversation that is absolutely crucial, and resulted in my first aha moment. It taught me how to let go of major fears around relationships. We talked about our relationship in it’s entirety, including how things might not work out and that would be ok too. We might not get married and have , but if we create an amazing bond and lifelong friendship. That’s a win.
Be free to love your person, despite whatever non-ideal circumstances.
What do we want out of this relationship? Do you want to get married? Do you need a healing relationship after a broken heart? Do you want a sexually explorative but impermanent relationship? Because knowing those things allows you to enter a real-life relationship with honest expectations.
You are free to say “NO THANKS” I am looking for something a little more committed. Or “NO THANKS – I’m not into that right now.” That’s what we’re all thinking – let’s just get it out into the open!
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Introducing a Sex Toy into Your Relationship
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:19 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
7109 Views
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While some people may not be entirely familiar with the idea of using toys during lovemaking, they certainly add an exciting twist and a new dimension to your sex sessions and are the perfect way for fun-loving couples to increase intimacy while further exploring their relationship.
The introduction of a sex toy into your love life in no way means there is something wrong with it. In fact, if anything, it is quite the opposite but of course everybody is different, and hopefully you know how your partner will react better than anyone.
Talk it Over
Sure we all love a good dose of spontaneity in the sack, but when it comes to introducing a sex toy into the equation we recommend discussing it with your partner first before you actually do it.
Simply whipping it out mid way through your session may drive your partner wild with excitement – like we say, you know best – but it could also give them the impression that what he or she has been doing up until now hasn’t been satisfying for you, which would almost certainly lead to a lengthy and probably mood-killing conversation.
Be Honest
Being open and honest with each other about what you want and why you want it will help you both to enjoy your new addition as it takes you to a whole new level of shared satisfaction.
Shop Together
If you think shopping for a holiday is a lot of fun, well, shopping for a sex toy is easily as good and enjoying the experience together is a great way to heat up the anticipation levels.
We suggest going with a product that excites both of you, depending on what you have in mind. Remember, sex toys can be used as a tantalizing twist to foreplay, an exciting extra to your love-making and as the perfect way to finish things off.
Share the Wealth
The days when sex toys were used just by women in secret have thankfully been banished to the history books, and while the benefits of a little me time will always hold a place in all of our hearts, the rise of the couples’ toy has really added a new dimension to fun between the sheets for both him and her.
LELO’s new couples’ massager, Ida™, is the first ever to offer the shared combination of internal rotations and external vibrations while a couples’ ring like TOR II™ offers increased presence and stamina for him combined with amazing sensations for her.
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Ice – An Erotic Story
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Posted:Sep 8, 2014 6:16 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2024 5:13 am
7561 Views
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“ Who’s there?” she called.
“Room service”, came the reply, almost automatic, muted slightly by the weight of the closed door.
Laurie rose from the bed and stood, curling her toes for a moment in the thick weave of the carpet, and walked over to the door. She opened it with a smile, and enjoyed a look of shock and embarrassment register on the porter’s face.
She stood lithe and tall in nothing but black fishnet stockings and suspenders, black lace panties, a peephole bra, a long pearl necklace wrapped twice around her neck shrouded in dirty blond hair, and nothing else. The porter’s eyes panicked, trying to drink in and record as much of this image as possible before it was snatched away while trying to appear to maintain his composure.
Laurie took the tray from the porter and winked knowingly at him, his mouth open and twitching slightly as though a thousand words had become log-jammed in his larynx and each was fighting to be the one that made it out. She turned and flicked the door closed before he had the chance to dazzle her with his smooth and confident wit, knowing he would probably replay the encounter for years, each time trying a new combination in his head that would end with the two of them in an illicit tryst.
But there was already someone in the bed, and had the porter managed to pry his stunned eyes away from the semi-naked woman in the doorway and glanced over her shoulder, he would have seen the man was already engaged in an illicit tryst.
Lying naked on the huge circular bed in the middle of the expensive hotel room was Paul, restrained by wrists to the iron bedhead and blindfolded, his naked body glowing and defined in the moonlight from the open floor-to-ceiling curtains and blushing with embarrassment at having been seen like this by a stranger.
He listened to Laurie approach with the tray and tried to imagine what she might be holding. He heard the scrape of metal on metal as she approached.
On the tray was an ice bucket, chilling a bottle of champagne. But Paul didn’t know that any more than he knew the champagne was not for drinking.
Laurie approached him, set the tray down, popped an ice cube from the champagne bucket into her mouth and leant over him, pressing her lips against his. He buckled and contorted at the sudden blend of sensations: the warmth of her mouth, the cold of the ice, the surprise of the complexity. His face hardened for a moment and then softened to a smile as she drew away, leaving the ice cube to melt on his tongue.
Still leant over him, watching his face closely, she fished another ice cube from the bucket and held it in her hand, the melting water already beginning to roll over her fingers. She placed it on the center of his chest, pressing firmer as he struggled against it, and began to slide it down his torso. He begged for relief, she smiled.
She slid it down, further and further, brushing her hand against his erection, enjoying how rigid and tense his body became as she trailed it over his thigh, before throwing it away onto the thick carpet and taking a fresh one.
She paused and waited for his anxiety to build before wrapping her hand, still holding the ice in her palm, around his cock. The intensity forced an agonized groan from between Paul’s gritted teeth and his back arched up. She took another cube in her other hand and wrapped that around his length too, making him buck even more against her.
She stroked them up and down until his heat had melted them into a glistening puddle all over him. He was breathing deeply now, recovering from the sensations and preparing for the next, his body taut and close to orgasm – and Laurie could tell.
Now she took the champagne bottle from the bucket, allowing the freezing water to drip all over him, and took a swig, filling her mouth, spilling it over his erection as she did so. The bubbles crackled against his sensitive skin before fading away.
She took an ice cube in each hand and wrapped them around his erection again; he bucked less this time, desensitized to the cold. And then, without warning, she lowered her champagne-filled mouth down and wrapped it around his cock, stroking him with both her freezing hands and lapping the liquid around his length with her warm tongue.
The blend of conflicting feelings was more than he could take, the fire and ice, and she worked him faster until a primeval groan that seems to start in his legs and roll up his body was given voice by his mouth. He lifted his head and directed the groan at the hotel room’s ceiling as the orgasm overwhelmed him, and the warmth of his climax melted into the champagne in her mouth.
And somewhere downstairs, a porter leant against a wall and smiled dreamily to himself.
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