Me. Heaven & Earth. Spare.
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Posted:Dec 3, 2013 6:21 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
8658 Views
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Don't mind me. I know my topic is weird. I know my postings can be weird sometimes... That is because I AM WEIRD...?
PC also has been acting weirdly these days... It's booting up markedly slower than before... I suspect there could be ad / spy ware....?
I came back into the house today and I started thinking and missing my two dead rabbits... Once which died while I watched it happen... The other died 'suddenly' when I cam home one day... It's strange. I know I'm capable of being cold-blooded and most detached.. And a lot of time it's hard for people to truly understand me (not that I want to be understood)... So what really am I....?
Good deeds... Bad deeds.. I do them all.. I told him I'm full of energy and tired at the same time. Yes. That's me... I was thinking over what I said... Probably tired in the heart...?
I know in many others' eyes I'm most probably like a 'superman' or a 'super weirdo'...? Of course it's weird... I fucking hate my job and love it at the same time. I'm looking for a better, but seriously... What is 'better'? I can be a perfectionist or at least often told to be something close (seriously they have no idea how high my standard can be and I'm not even really trying yet...)... 'Better'...? I think I'll only end up looking for a 'perfect heaven' that doesn't exist... Probably... Something could only be created by me....?
I wish to get a good shower. Do my face. Check my e-mails. Then go shoot some people online.... It's December already....
X'Mas is coming. Bonus is coming. A lot of capability from me, but more jobs and expectations... My eye should be sort of 'officially recovered' by end of this month... A lot of spendings... Looking forward to next month where I'll finally be having my vacation... Been years....
I have a new 'resolution' next year...
I saw a nice lady in the lift earlier. I thought I almost wanted to get her contact from her.... Just to chat that is....
Didn't get to run again. Don't know who is more to blame? The weather? My job? Or myself..?
Getting late... I'm out.
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Funny Facts..
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Posted:Dec 2, 2013 6:55 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
8572 Views
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I returned late last night. Took a shower. And actually dozed off while blogging halfway, fighting my tiredness while waiting for my hair to dry... I woke up in the middle of the night. Looked at the couple of lines I left in my entry.. Barely able to make out anything, I decided to delete my entry, logged out and went back to sleep...
Yesterday was one of the rare nights where I really didn't wish to game at all... And it wasn't even about me being tired or not....
I'm about 5 days to my next 'target'. I feel fairly optimistic about things for now, but the truth is too many things would only be realized on the day itself... So keeping my fingers crossed...
I'm one day from other's 'target' but I couldn't really be bothered about it as I think there really isn't anything much and they're over-reacting which could only make the situation worse....
Though I've been working really hard and efficiently, I'm surprised that I'm still not falling sick... Maybe I'm really getting the hang of it? Although I'm working really hard... Focused and committed, my heart is really telling me to relax from within... (Which I'm not sure if I'm really following at all?)
Damn, I might not get to run again tomorrow... I miss running... 
Although I'm really tired. I'm really kind of happy from within... Although I find no motivation at my workplace, I can't help finding myself too 'self-motivated'... It's like there's no stopping it....
Although people have been giving me shit and still is giving me shit today, I fought strongly for what I wanted today... (and it's a good thing I got it in the end or I might just turn the table and decides to walk out on people..)
Although I've got tibits at home, I hardly get any chance at them because by the time I return late, I would have to wash up and can't be touching any of them after....?
That idiot who threw me air and insisted on what he wants today... I made my stand clear and stood by it. I could sense he was trying to stir troubles for me, so I just 'shifted the mountains'... Sometimes you've just got to love politics... Really... No matter how you might hate it.... Occasionally you'll still need to throw a few cards to play it well... In the end he can only suck up his thumb and sent me a VERY NICE colleague of his to entertain me instead... DON'T THINK you can throw your weight around and THINK that you're really a SOMEBODY, so you can put people down... BECAUSE I've got HEAVIER 'WEIGHTS' around... Wear your DIAPER and get back into LINE....
Life is good tonight...?
Miss hanging out with my buddies and chatting out late into the night...
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UP....
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Posted:Nov 30, 2013 9:19 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
8670 Views
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Been so long... I nearly couldn't remember happiness can be found in so many ways.... The love-making which is both passionate and not so passionate.... Very silent... The days which can go by so ordinarily... And yet at times the truly extraordinary created by me....
No wonder people of various paths seek....
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Dead Rabbit.
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Posted:Nov 27, 2013 8:56 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
8802 Views
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My rabbit is dead. It has aged... Admittedly I'm not been giving it enough love and attention as I had initially thought... I think deep inside of me I've got this 'silent fear'... I can't handle 'death' or departure well... Not that I'm much affected by it. The fact is most of the time I just couldn't be affected by it...
Just when I thought it's all 'too sad' and I won't want to rear another pet, and all is useless and meaningless... A couple of thoughts came to my mind....
1. Do not start anything unless you're ready to give the amount of commitment you're expected to give in return for something worthy of it.....
2. Life is short. Small pet's life is relatively short compared to human's. Human thus have the delusion that life is so much longer... The very truth is life is short... It can as easily be over before you know it. Don't hesitate on the love you should be giving to your family, relatives, friends, lover, spouse, , teachers, colleagues, whatever.... Cause you'll never know when it's gonna be over and too late for either party....
It's complicated... Really. My mind has been like spinning in rounds.. I used to feel proud that I can think in 'layers' and 'levels' unlike most other people... But these days it just seems to get automatically more and more complicated...? Like I no longer can have control over it... Or is this just a passing phase...? I remember how I used to have this 'out of body' experience back in my school days... Well.. More like 'out of mind'? (Okie, just that my mind is always wandering and often it feels like it's not with me... -_-")
I hate thinking about sex because it makes me have a HARD ON. Especially at this hour... Often I can either choose to wank myself or go to sleep.. (or go online gaming before I sleep) As I'm one who don't like to wank (though I know how to do it so that I can really enjoy it), I often just end up in bed... Eventually? (though with online gaming I'll still get to 'shoot' - still a form of 'release' yup..??  )
Sometimes I look at the empty room next door and can't help thinking how it'll be like to be sexing someone in that bed within....
Why ain't you ready yet...? Do you know that the person I really wish and wish to have sex with now is REALLY YOU...? Somehow I'm beginning to believe that you'll never be ready... Not in years to come at least...
And just where have 'you' gone to...? I'm beginning to doubt what you've said to me are even real....?
This night.... There seems so much to do... As usual...?
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Upside...
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Posted:Nov 27, 2013 7:46 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
8775 Views
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I think it's slowly coming... Desire. For sex. Though I think I probably still have it under control... For how long I could not tell...
I'm thinking about her. How I had teased her and how she had loved it... I can still remember her nice shaven pussy. Her lovely tattoos. The way she flirted with me... I can still remember how her pussy looked so very close to my eyes.... How I teased her so badly like she was dying for more... She didn't quite got wet like most other women would... Instead her juice just accumulated at that tiny hole of her pussy, dying to be released out... Like cum which is being held back.... By my 'terrible' teasing.... I can still remember how crazy and 'lost' she got by the way I was fucking her... Everything must have been in and out of her... Too INTENSE, that she couldn't have been making any sense out of it.....
Yet there is this another girl who I have been thinking for months... Like there really isn't much of anyone else I've got on mind right now who I would really like to have sex with other than her... The feeling... Chemistry... How we can satisfy each other... Really get into each other... How she is really the type I like.... Too bad, she's no longer here in Singapore?
It's late... I'm suppose to be showering.. Washing up instead of being here... So that my hair can dry.... Then to pack for my run (which I still doesn't know if it would happen tomorrow) and go shoot my online gaming....
I feel like I'm going to be falling sick any moment now. I hate it. I've got an important event coming up and I can't afford to be sick. I need my run. I need my dose...
I thought there's this porno which I would like to watch, but now it all seems bloody lame to me... Probably rather sleep for now... My thumb drive is somehow 'amazing' missing... What I really want to watch is in there.... (but still perhaps I'll rather sleep?  )
I thought I wanted to chat in IMC. I thought I wanted to watch a good cam. I thought of so many other things..
I miss singing KTV. I hope I'll get to catch a good movie this weekend...?
I think I'm missing sex more each day... Control. I hate that feeling.
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The Sick Runner....
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Posted:Nov 26, 2013 8:57 am
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2013 7:46 am
8956 Views
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For months I thought I'm going to be falling sick, but nothing like that happened despite my busy work schedule...
And I thought sex is something to be like the 1st to come to my mind because of how tired I've been, but no... Instead it's running. It's that thing that many say they're too lazy for.... It's that thing that would keep me up and running. It's like a virus...? A healthy virus... 
I thought I would be shooting online tonight, but as usual, by the time I'm done with my things I'm just sort of too tired... Watching a Taiwanese girl on cam.... Attract and daring... In a way a cute personality? She is sent to China Shanghai for work... Reminds me of a friend who was sent to Shanghai by her company too... She came back some time back and met up with us (a group of friends) for clubbing... She was braless (and horny?) that night. When we were at the bar to get our drinks, she knew I was behind and purposely rest her body on the bar desk and had her ass pointing right up and against me who was behind... The idea was crazy... I mean it was obviously an open invitation. She even turned around a couple of times just to make sure that I was behind and I noticed (who wouldn't?). The temptation was huge but I rejected it as the few of us are actually friends... So I didn't make any move...
A friend of mine asked me why am I still in this site and what am I looking for? Actually I long knew there're better places to look for girls and get laid... But I suppose most of the time that isn't really what I'm so much actively looking for these days....? I mean... Sure... There're still people I can be quite attracted to, but doesn't happen too often... And I'm more in an 'easy come, easy go' mood these days... What will come shall come? I prefer much to just let things be for now...
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Mess up my Mind please....?
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Posted:Nov 22, 2013 9:43 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2013 9:00 am
9222 Views
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Thought of sex, but it didn't happen today...
Thought of sex tomorrow... But tomorrow... Don't think it's gonna happen tomorrow...?
Network is super slow tonight. After much hardship and tolerance, the performance is finally tonight... As expected, it didn't quite turn out as smoothly and the way it's supposed to be, but all went well... Well... More than 'well'...? 
I cannot express how tired I am. All these while organising and prep.. Other things on hand.. Being alone at work.... But in a way it's worthwhile? It happened BIG TIME tonight.. But sex tonight? No, no... No mood...
Tomorrow? I'll need to handle my next event... This time, personal life... Definitely, my standard and taste have gone up so much higher... Seriously, I think it's getting hard for me to accept anything 'ordinary' from myself these days... Tomorrow's all packed. Sex? Don't think it's gonna happen tomorrow neither.. In fact I don't wish for it to happen because I think my crave not strong enough.. I don't wish to feed myself too often and too easily...
Tired. Very tired... But I do not wish to sleep... So much have been going through my mind for the past couple of weeks.... Ugliness.....
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Pause for a while...? And listen....
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Posted:Nov 19, 2013 7:18 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2013 9:44 am
9453 Views
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No news tonight. Off the TV. TV news come REAL SLOW these days... Like there're 'newspapers' (online or physical pieces), online sources... TV seems one of the last resorts these days...
I remember telling one of my colleagues perhaps the time is not ripe... I've forgotten... And now I remember again. Yes. Things are going according to plan... I hate (to play) politics, but sometimes that's the only way to get things done... And when it is played out right, things could potentially be carried out almost effortlessly at times... After a day's leave... After I 'threw out' my temper to display my dismay and disappointment just before my leave, everything have changed.. (note that this has to be done professionally in order to gather the respect you deserve) People become enthusiastic and pro-active, giving me the fullest support.... It turned out that no one is really with that person who tried to 'create trouble'. And I reckon that she probably got reprimanded by the others in one way or another while I was on leave... Cheers. Tomorrow we'll be on the road to SUCCESS... I like VICTORIES.. BOTH PRIVATE and PUBLIC....
Days would be getting tougher ahead... (but with more supporters already voicing out to me that they're willing to cushion my job and support me) Focus. One bird down at a time... Don't talk and no action. No substance. People will just leave you behind...
Today I was looking at my kitchen. I like my kitchen. It is really clean. Well.. That is because I don't cook at home...
I looked at the room which is currently empty. Nice beds. Nice room. I imagined how it would be like to be having sex with someone in it...
Yet that thought is not as strong as me wanting to get my 'release' shooting my enemies online... SOoo..... We shall just put that aside for now yeah....?
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Runaway Train....?
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Posted:Nov 18, 2013 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2013 7:23 am
9631 Views
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Irritating people... Go away.. I'm just tolerating. Sometimes I'm very much amazed by how much I can control myself given my temper....
I really should be sleeping earlier though I've not exceeded the timing I've set for myself yet.... Getting feverish...? Sick... Not sure in which way though... Physically or mentally....?
Giving up on that lousy project at work... Let those people who try to mess things up answer for themselves...? I think it's really time for them to learn to take some responsibilities for their words and actions.... Besides, I've got more important things to look after for my own life now... Just like each of those selfish people... To each their own....?
Not many things can really attract me sexually these days... Wonder if that's a good thing or bad thing?
Tired.... Maybe I should really sleep soon...? Whenever I think of work and I'm hating it, I just can't sleep... Probably because I can't look forward to tomorrow....?
I'm being a spendthrift again today... Mood.... Sometimes I just feel like eating the most expensive food and indulge in expensive ways of keeping myself happy (though it doesn't seems to work)... The worst part is I actually do it....
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Bigger than Life...
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Posted:Nov 17, 2013 8:15 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2013 9:27 am
9204 Views
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I've watched a movie recently.... It's not a very outstanding movie, but I like it a lot. I can relate to it so much that I couldn't help myself loving it....
Unhealthy. I've long cut the habit have having supper, yet I'm still drinking soft drink very often at late hours (like what I'm doing now). I can imagine the amount of sugar going into me and what high chance it would be for them to be trapped there....
No woman is chatting with me. I've only wanted chats...? Funny. It really doesn't even matter.... What I really miss now is actually my gun shooting into my enemies, on my gaming screen.... CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THAT...?? Then what am I doing here in an 'adult' site...?? REALLY...?? I don't even know.... Maybe just blogging...? Looking around...? Okay, so I admit.. I'm weird...
And I thought I'd really wanted sex just a few days back.... Well... Maybe more like a particular type of sex...? It seems there really is something much larger than life... At least 'life' as in how I used to live it...? It makes the need for sex look so small.... Life....
I've actually been thinking much about food... Miss eating nice satays out by the road.... Thinking about the teak I've yet to try.... And all these are really unusual as I'm still kind of full from my last meal.... And I almost never think about food when I'm still full....
Funny. Just had shower a couple of hours back... Feel like having another shower again... Compulsive behaviour....?? Well.... Come to think of it, it was in the afternoon... So my body is right in its intuition....?
Thinking about the 'bak gu teh' I had yesterday again.... It was really NICE... HEY. I'm ON LEAVE tomorrow.... Maybe I can propose to the others to have lunch there tomorrow...?? It does seems unusually deserted during its lunch (unlike its dinner which is almost always too crowded)? Or maybe that was because yesterday was a Saturday afternoon...? Still have errands to run before that.. Should be able to make it...? Or I can run my errands after that....?? HEY, WAIT... I'm not suppose to be thinking about food....? 
Network seems to be running slow tonight... Feel like closing all the chat windows which are not even responding anyway..? And sometimes while I'm doing other things (like blogging) while I keep the other chat windows open, people might just suddenly respond and I'll be like unaware (=unfriendly?)... Gosh...
I think I'm falling in love more and more with myself each day.... And TRUST ME, it has got nothing to do with the looks....
Office work. I've got to learn so much in such a short period of time.... Somehow my 'understanding' amazes me....
The thought of what I'm about to achieve thrills me....
Life. And should I be asking for more....???
Oops! Time for my washing up... Then hopefully I won't be too tired to shoot again...? (then again if I'm too tired I'll just sleep. And what's really wrong with that..?? )
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Mood...
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Posted:Nov 15, 2013 5:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
9014 Views
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is a very important thing for me in terms of sexuality encounters / engagements....
Currently I just wish to gently touch another body, tease your body and pussy with my hands and fingers... Not penetrative sex. No oral. Juts good old fashion CLEAN teasing...
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Raw. Data.
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Posted:Nov 13, 2013 6:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2013 5:12 pm
9261 Views
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Not sure exactly why. But I've always preferred fan over air-con... Yet tonight is different... Just different...
The girls. They have left me. Now I'm all alone in the house. Till the next tenant if she / they should come? Somehow I was looking forward to this moment... Of the privacy and freedom... Yet at the same time it seems so much more quiet... For the better or worse? Just enjoy it in whatever ways I can for now....?
Upgrading. Upgrading, and UPGRADING... This is something so strongly engraved on my mind like I bite and sleep on it...
CHALLENGES. Just when I thought I was so hating it, I find myself loving it again... It's such an 'love & hate' affair. I think it's truly in my blood like I smell and feel it... Everything as I'm living it...
I kept improving myself and often I've been told I've got so much potentials in me... (Like I can feel it boiling inside of me too) But never had I thought I would still be able to increase my intelligence this way.... Unbelievable.
Soft bodies... I need a soft body I can touch. I can feel and hug. Not sure if I miss sex though? I haven't come to that part yet....
Miss clubbing. I couldn't remember when was the last time I clubbed, though these days I often think about it.... Even longer, I can't remember when was the last time I flirted in a club... When was the last time I did anything sexual / sensual which resulted in one of the most wonderful experiences.... I guess my schedule is too tight? I'm not sure if my standard has even gone up too high...? - I have not even tried. I can vaguely remember how I was seduced some time back though she turned out not as attractive as I thought she would be...
I miss wet. I miss horniness...
I'm going to give up on those people who doesn't my attention and effort at work.
I miss shooting into my TV SCREEN.
I've chatted with people here who often tells me... "Oh, so you're the guy who often blogs about work?" Made me realized that.... Yes. Indeed. I told about work a lot more than I talk about sexual stuff in here these days....
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Disease.
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Posted:Nov 12, 2013 8:14 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 8:19 pm
9181 Views
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I think I've got a 'disease'...? And this 'disease' is really called 'boredom'... Now don't get me wrong? I think I'm not really a BORING person, but more like TOO CREATIVE, INNOVATIVE and IMAGINATIVE..... So much that I often can't help but to feel I'm like trapped in a box living in this world.
If there is one thing worse than not having sex when ya need one... It gotta be this plain boredom.... Come to think of it, it kinda explains the many things that I'd done before in my life during the younger days....?
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To link to this blog (rm_DevilCharmZ) use [blog rm_DevilCharmZ] in your messages.
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