Nothing.
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Posted:Sep 8, 2013 8:54 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
9730 Views
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(Hi! I'm a blogger and I'm proud of it!  )
Too many years back I was still thinking if I should blog about myself and my life... Thinking if I should share.... Especially in a place like Local Sexy Swingers? Actually... Any other place might not have been any better an option.... Today I'm here.
Been wishing to 'shoot' and go online gaming... But no. Yet probably not today again.
For too many nights I've been having this weird 'fantasy'... Coming home, tired and hit my sack directly. But each night I would have to wash up, clean up and do chores... Often I end up staying late in the night just waiting for my hair to dry... Becoming a habit.
I think I'm maintaining myself reasonably okay for now... Sometimes I think about how much better I would be if I just get enough sleep... Unlike now, only sleeping for 2-3 hours... Not good for my health... No good for my looks and no.... No good for my thinking processes also....
Still paying my debt. But I know with my current 'power', I'll soon be out of it.... Then what's next? Lasik which have been on my list for years....? Tattoos..? How about my investments....? How about more appropriate planning...? What about commitments.....?
Air-con doesn't seems to be working fine... Needs servicing...?
Tired.
Been very busy lately and more to come... In a way it's good because I'm meaningfully occupied. Meaning I'm doing the things I love to be doing.... Almost forgotten that my birthday would be coming soon. On and off, thoughts and plans for my own birthday... Keeping things simple at best... Then be busy again.... Work... Lack of manpower... Probably by then financial planning... Organising events....
Sex, not searching nor seeking again. My thought.... If it comes, it shall come.... I love it natural... Would want sex the way it's meant to be again.... Not otherwise. It's hard to get the ladies on IMC. Recently I had chats... I find that chats are still the better things.... For too many times I thought I missed my 'chance' because I wasn't aggressive enough in my approach to the ladies... Not proactive enough..... Why did I gave up so many chances...? Now I know why.... Because simple is nice... Even if it means only chat and no sex.... 
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Haha.
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Posted:Sep 7, 2013 10:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
9592 Views
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Some dishes' names are inconspicuous, just like this blog entry title... But does not represent the good food or not they be.... Just like some dishes with fantastic names might not be even worth your taste bud.... I like my 'name' unattention calling sometimes..? Then I slowly get to people... And earn their respects....
I've seen a movie just recently. It is about the China people living their American dreams... Inside the movie, people revisited some of the places of the past.... The past of their hearts.... I like revisitings too... Of places and people.... Of places and feelings.... Where I had been... Where I seems to have left behind something....? Though today I no longer have the urge to go back anywhere to show anybody anything.... I'm moving forward. Fast-forward. They say your best friends are in a way your enemies.... Nobody move you forward as much as they do. As they can? I don't even have to re-visit people to find out if they are still there... Whether they are or not, I reckon they probably won't move very far with their form of mentality... Thanks to them, I have today.
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Disturbing
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Posted:Sep 7, 2013 11:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
9444 Views
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Rain. 2.30am. Finished laundry. Waiting to wash off my mask. Gaming or sleeping next? Downloading movies....
Disturbing. I remember a movie I watched while I was very young. It was a horror movie. I can't recall exactly the contents of the movie, but for years I had been always so afraid of it.. One scene in particular haunts me.....
Today I'm an adult. I managed to find that movie and watched it again... To face my own fears and see what was really so disturbing about it.... It was a scar movie. By today's standard and by those days... I was quite 'impressed' as I've not seen anything quite as 'good' (scary) for a long time.... The thought is disturbing. Parents brought their own very young into cinema to watch as horrors because they wanted to watch it themselves....
I remember my aunt telling me that my god grandma would often walk over and carry me away in the early wee hours when I was left outside to play on my own... While my parents were still in the house, in the bed, having hot sex.... I used to dismiss that thought. It was really quite disturbing... But today it's hard not to accept it as part of truth. Along with the others... Of how I can recall I was unfairly ill-treated by my parents... As a bi-product of their quarrels.. Of how they really didn't want me but I just 'popped' out while they were enjoying themselves.... Of how unimportant I really am to them....
I truly and deeply understood.. My parents don't really love me, they just love sex. And it explains the way I have been treated all along... Disturbing.
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Fool. Again...?
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Posted:Sep 4, 2013 8:57 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
9515 Views
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Happening again... A lot of thoughts on my mind... A lot I wish to do but have not manage to... A lot of strains....
I'm not sleeping again... Not a single bit last night. Funny how I actually felt so super awake and different for the earlier half of the day.... As I'd thought, things got drastically off for the 2nd half... And managed to handle it pretty well with just a cup of coffee....
It seems women is not really that much a part of my life these days... And it seems ok...? Women seeking a chance for men to hurt them.. Women seeking for sex.... Women seeking for a decent relationship.... Women who through the processes introduced traumas which they would have to bear with.... More 'freedom of choice' given to women these days.. Men who ain't even given a chance to hurt the women... Men who are not given a chance to love or prove their worth.... Who is more pathetic? The men or the women? Are those who opted out and not to be involved in the processing systems more intelligent than the rest...? Or are they just in avoidance? Less 'fishes'... Treasure what you've got and give your 'best shot'... Funny, I do not really care... Part of the regrets I have in life is to give in to women... The demands of women.... To believe some of them.... They no longer make women like they did, just like 'good men' almost went out of production since ample years ago....
I used to think that letting another person define your life and who you are is a bad thing. Now I think it's one of the worst things...
Comfort zone. You get in, get out of them.... They say 'change' is about getting out of your comfort zone... I do not agree totally. I think it's just getting out of one, then getting into another.... One in exchange for another is not totally a bad thing... Plus you get some resilience along the way... A lot of people believe they stopped growing a long time ago... I disagree. I'm learning about life each and everyday. And I think this is one of the most amazing things in life... And there're just so too much to learn.... The process probably won't end even till the day you die..
I'm tired. I hope I would sleep... I reversed the process a little. Instead of allowing myself to always start with gaming and end up surfing online till wee hours.... I started off with going online businesses 1st.. For I know I seldom do it the other way round, and most likely I would just 'rest and sleep' after a while if I get too tired.... Just nicely on my bed.... So tired. I thought I powered off my computer, but I didn't switch off the main supply. I always thought I did.... Too many times I found myself proving I was wrong.
Running tomorrow... Guilty. I didn't run the last time I was supposed to. I don't really feel like running because I'm too tired and I can't risk myself being too tired on Friday.. It's too important. Schedule. If I manage to survive Friday, I would still have to survive Saturday.... Then again, I think I'll probably be too tired to meet up with my friends on Friday night and I still got to cover work on Saturday.... No, it's really quite simple... 'Simply complicated'...
My thought process is getting very different... Knowing myself.. I don't know if it's really a good or bad thing, but I know for sure it's a very unique thing. And it really doesn't look like a bad thing to me at all at this point of time....?
More bads.... Flickering light and lamp which is about to blow fuse... ATM card which cannot be processed... Actually was glad that it didn't confiscate my card after hanging on the processing screen for about 5-10 long minutes.. I think it's like a 'bad day' tonight. The last day of the hungry ghost festival and many define to be an unlucky day. Little people you see at the usual dining places... 8 minutes to 12am.
I think my hair has dried and I'm not stepping out of my room to do online gaming..
IMC. Some... The usual list of names.. Others.. Suspicious looking names or 'unfriendly' ones...? 'Friendly' ones you just chat with... No matter. I think I'm turning into a 'vegetarian'?
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She.
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Posted:Sep 2, 2013 8:10 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2013 7:57 am
10565 Views
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I was on my way out then I noticed she was there again... This time outside her door, overlooking beyond the flat and smoking her cigarette.... The 1st time I saw her was an afternoon...
She was in a short whole dress 'nightie', doing her laundry... I could have sworn she wasn't wearing her bra....
Tonight she's out again. At such a late hour. I was at the lift waiting... We were partially blocked by pillars.. But I could tell on and off she was trying to look into my direction.. Trying to see me... I should have been tempted to walk up and say 'hi'. But I wasn't horny or anything. I thought she might have been...? Possibly....? I thought if I was horny, I might have just walked up to her and start to touch the ways she would most enjoy it.... Wait. What if it ended up a molest case instead? Eye contact. I would walk up to her and use eye contact.. See through her to find out what she wants... Lately her windows have always been wide open....
I imagined her inviting me into her room. Where I would get into her bed and taste her... We'll be all about in her room, doing all the naughty things one could least imagine....
Should I be paying her more attention the next time I get to see her again...?
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Sheer Coincidences...
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Posted:Aug 31, 2013 8:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
8400 Views
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Month of the hungry ghost, is it over yet....?
I thought I was too tired.... I thought I was seeing things... But maybe not? I don't know. I thought I've not been particularly tired lately... Or is it just chronic strain?
I was at a friend's place and walked into the room... I thought I took a glimpse of her walking pass the room into the kitchen.... I walked towards the room's door intending to look for her in the kitchen... Before I managed to reach the door, she walked up to me from the left. She had not walked passed the room yet. And there was certainly no one else in the room... But I knew she bought this house from a deceased lady. I kept mum. Didn't tell her a thing....
At the bottom of my flat, near the mailbox. I thought I heard a lady's laughter at the corridor. It was a short while and I thought there couldn't have been any mistake in me hearing it. I looked up. Looked around... Clearly there was no one around... The sound has suddenly just stopped. Total silence. No one talking as follow up, nothing...
It happened again.
I saw that the lift was at the ground floor where I was. I quickly reached for my mailbox and thrown the rubbish away in the bin. As fast as I could so that no one would take the lift up in the time between... I thought I was a man in yellow walking towards the lift when I was throwing my rubbish. I quickly turned around after I was done with the rubbish within seconds, trying to rush into the lift or aim for the button to stop it from going up.... I dashed. The lift was no longer there. In fact it wasn't even moving at all. Already resting at the 10th floor. I slowly reached for the lift and pressed the button....
I was too tired? I tried to open my gate only by unlocking the gate.... I totally forgotten about the lock.... Something which I should have been reflex conditioned to deal with....? I went into my room and left my keys at my room's door. Maybe I am really getting tired....?
Porno. These days occasionally I thought of watching it.. But I always ended up not that keen and interested?
Sex. I have always have this special liking for pretty women and my expectation can be high.... But these days I'm starting to find that sex satisfaction a lot of time just have nothing to do with the looks or whatsoever of the other party.....
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Night NITES!
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Posted:Aug 22, 2013 8:58 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
8594 Views
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Was looking for CHATs.. Not much... These days have always been like that...?
VERY TIRED and SLEEPY after my RUN... On one hand FEEL like GAMING again... On the other hand feel like sleeping.. But think my hair is not dry yet....
HOPE I can WAKE UP in TIME for MY PRATA BREAKFAST tomorrow.. THIS GUY is CRAZY and like SELLS prata only for like 2 to at most 3 hours a day...?? GOSH!! HOW CAN HE SURVIVE?? And it's not like only him...?? At least another brother with a wife... WAH....
TOMORROW would be going for my own 'mini movies marathon'!  And meeting my GAMING khakis!!
These days sometimes felt like watching pornos.. But always ended up GAMING or SLEEPING INSTEAD...?? 
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PIECE TOGETHER.
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Posted:Aug 17, 2013 8:39 am
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2013 8:06 am
10234 Views
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EXPERIENCE - LIFE. Things happen... Earth continue to spin... We used to have lots of experiences with life... Used to wanna share it so much.... But today it seems just like part of life... Either tired or already immunized to.....
There're accumulating on my mind lately. Things I wish to do to the house. It's a MESS and I'm living it... Day by day getting used to it... Sometimes I wish I didn't started that way. Sometimes I wish I didn't give in.... But suppose that's just me for now... No right or wrong.... No good or bad..... At least it's cosy enough. Listening to my music station and favourite songs on a Saturday night... Recalling moments of my life... Remember the most recent important things I've just learnt about life.... Slowly forgetting the people, places and events I'm suppose to forget.... At least I'm not drowning myself no more...? Just experiencing. Getting or not getting, both sides to the coin is a treasured reality....
I'm beginning to believe that even till the day I am to die, there won't be too much done to my room... Nor the house... Not like the way I wish to at least?
For now I just wish to get a shower, wash up. Come back and hit my game... Probably end up on the computer again after... Go for the sack. And another day begin....
Is life meaninglessly meaningful....? I don't know. At least I'm living myself 'differently'... Slowly....?
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Lunar 7th month (Hungry ghost's creepy stories...)
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Posted:Aug 14, 2013 7:58 am
Last Updated:Aug 31, 2013 8:06 am
10165 Views
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It's that festive again.... Have you ever had the feeling that someone's watching you while you were..... Peeing...? I had. A gay was looking over my shoulder while I was in the cubicle doing it. Okay. Without further delay, let me tell you 3 of my stories....
Story 1:
The other night my house mates went to watch midnight American horror movie, The Conjuring.... It was very late by the time the girls got home.... One of them went to the toilet in the dark and felt something tapped on her shoulder..... She turned around and thought she saw a pair of legs were hanging just beside her.... She screamed and ran back into her room where the other girl is.... Both of them did not dare visit the toilet the whole night....
The next day I was asked to remove my hanged pair of trousers from my washings....
Story 2:
Last night after my run. I removed my socks from my shoe bag for washing... After the washing was done and I was hanging out the laundry, I only managed to find one of my socks.... I searched and looked, but the washing machine was clearly empty. I went through the washed clothes to see if it has possibly dropped within another piece of something... There was nothing. I went back to check the running shoes.. The bag... Nothing. I walked all the way back and forth and see if I could have dropped it along the way... But still not a clue. I finally gave up....
But tonight when I was back in the kitchen clearing back my hanged pieces, guess what I saw.....???
The sock has reappeared.... At one corner very near to the washing machine.....
Story 3:
Finished my shower after my laundry was done the other night... Went back into the room and looked into the mirror.... To my horror, I thought I saw something in the mirror.... I slowly moved away from it.... There was no mistake of what I saw.... There in the corner, it was slightly dark but a 'bloody' kind of look.... It did not move. I looked at it as it looked back at me.... It was quite a big pimple on my face.... GOSH!!! WHAT HORROR!!!
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All I want is to.....
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Posted:Aug 13, 2013 6:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2013 7:01 am
10102 Views
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I remember the days when we boys would say anything just to get a good lay... Flowery words... Lovely acts.... Agreeing with the girls whatever they might be saying (whether we understood them or not)... Well, those days are over....
I know a lot of ladies in here are after a 'relationship'.... Well, to be very honest at this point of time I'm not looking for one.... I would rather think of us as adults and if you want something which I want too, we're in together... If not, why lie to one or another? I want a good sex. I want to satisfy a partner who can attract / satisfy me... I don't mind hugs and kisses only with the appropriate person at times... I don't mind just purely chatting and nothing else....
A girl recently asked me why don't I just sell the ladies their dreams...? My reply? I know how it feels to be disappointed, so I'm not about to offer the same... If I am, I'll say I am... If I'm not then I'm not. I'll just have to live with it....
How about going against the unbeatable number of guys in here....? Well... Let me worry about that one...? If I'm even worrying that is....?
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Good night...
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Posted:Aug 12, 2013 9:51 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2013 8:03 am
9992 Views
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The music is soft.... The night is young... But I've got a new day tomorrow... A day which is going to be unlike yesterday.... Long weekend made extra long....
I'm walking further... My way... Deeper... Knowing myself in a different way.... Before I can truly tell anyone my story, I'll need to know my own..... Then I'll walk out of it... Beyond it... Over it....
You make me see more of myself... Beneath my already deepened understandings..... You let me see myself... So clearly....
It all seems to make sense now.... Even the 'meaningless' ones.. The fact and reason why I could never have 'captured' and 'known' myself... What are you made for....? Who are you....? What are you....?
I can feel myself falling into pieces.. Defragmentation... Then pieced together again. I can see what put and pieced me together. The cracks.. Fine lines.... Imperfections.. All part of me....
Would I be able to access myself?
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It's Me, it's ME!
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Posted:Aug 9, 2013 10:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 12, 2013 9:57 am
9400 Views
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NATIONAL DAY. Ran all the way into Malaysia... Good food.. GREAT TIME!
Clearing house chores... Feel like playing game... Feel like giving up on sex... I had this thought before. To quit sex. Embark, focus and reflect on different parts of my life.. Parts which I had ignored and neglected. Parts which I love. Parts of my life....
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Bad day?
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Posted:Aug 6, 2013 9:01 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2024 6:29 pm
8906 Views
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Well... Maybe not exactly...?
Was back from my run and washed up. Intended to clean my bunny's cage and the light fuse burnt. 'Luckily' there is a spare tube on standby at home. 1st time changing this light. Had a really hard time figuring the layout of this light out... Barely fixed it. By the time I was done I was perspiring once again.... Not to mention how tired and still had to clean bunny's cage and do laundry.... ~soB~
TIRED, but my mind's ON GAMING. Holiday mood already here... How I wish I don't have to work tomorrow... Sleep in LATE, have a NICE breakfast and hang out at a nice CAFE after... Either doing nothing much (maybe people watching?) or playing some silly games...
EVERY NOW and THEN I would be VERY TEMPTED to SLEEP EARLY... But usually by the time I'm done with my things, it's often not that 'early' anymore...? I ever tried sleeping VERY EARLY a few times, but I just ended up waking up in the middle of the night... But the feeling was weirdly COOL though....??
Raining now... Good for sleeping....? And think my hair is drying...? 
Can't be joining colleagues and friends in Malaysia's resort this long weekend as I'll be occupied... 
Sex is a WEIRD thing... One moment you can be LOVING and ENJOYING it SO MUCH.... The NEXT you be wondering why the heck would you ever be thinking about sex anyway....??
DUMB DUMB...
SLEEP or GAMING... SLEEP OR GAMING...??
Usually when I ask my friends this question, they'll ask me quickly to go to SLEEP...
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