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Secret Life
 
I am blogging here about my secret life, my double life.
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Missing M, again.
Posted:Sep 23, 2009 12:09 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2009 12:57 pm
12731 Views

I truly envy people who can fight for their own love. More than I dare to admit.

I want M so much, I stayed away. Now that I need him ever more, he is so far away. So far I wish I didn’t know him to feel this pain. So far, I wish this was all just a dream. I secretly wish this is a dream I can wake up to no recollection of. This is how much I love him… so much I wish I never have knew him.

Which is worse? To know love and not being able to be with the one you love or to not know love and stay as you are always?

I tried loving other people. I tried getting to know other people. I tried forgetting. I tried pretending it never happened. Nothing works. The images of our yesterdays are so vivid in my mind like it is happening now.

I can always remember every little detail, the things he said, the expressions on his face, the gentleness of his touch, his protective arms… In fact, what wasn’t said became more important to me, something that I hang on more fiercely than what was said. I knew those were real. Words rarely worth anything nowadays but actions, like pictures, speaks a thousand words.

I miss M.
7 Comments
Needing M Badly
Posted:May 5, 2009 11:07 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2009 12:58 pm
11671 Views

Oh! I will be meeting up with M tomorrow! I am so so excited. He promised me a surprise! I wonder what will it be. I miss his cock so much. Oosp. Did I really say that on Local Sexy Swingers? Anyway, I do. And everything else about him.

I am so wet just at the thought of it! That is why I am still up on a work night! Oh no. I so need him now! I have been smsing him the pass hour while he is on the pretense of working in the study room while his wife goes to sleep first! Haha... I bet he is stroking his hard on right now.

We have been smsing erotic messages to each other the past week but however we each have other commitments and therefore can only meet up tomorrow. My nipples are all erected and I need his cock in my pussy so badly! @($*%&@#)*%&@)#

Can\'t wait for tomorrow! Till the sun comes up! Sob sob.....
5 Comments
Bugged Local Sexy Swingers
Posted:Nov 27, 2008 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2008 9:38 pm
11650 Views

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1 comment
Bugged Local Sexy Swingers
Posted:Nov 27, 2008 10:24 pm
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2008 1:14 am
11911 Views

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0 Comments
Girls #2
Posted:Nov 27, 2008 9:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2008 9:52 pm
11924 Views

Difference between my clubbing girls and me.

So, I hang out with this group of girls almost every other weekend. The other part of my every other weekend is really to recuperate from work. Haha? Of course, when the club brings in a good DJ or act, I will try not to miss the crazy crowd. I feel that I have a good balance of ?no crowd? and ?love crowd?, makes me feel in control of my life. I do what I want, when I like.

You can find most of their names and pictures in the newspapers and magazines under ?Celebrity bloggers?, ?Party-goers?, ?Social elites? and ?Drunkards acting stupid?. Okay, yeah we do party together but that does not mean that I am crazy like them. Keeping a low profile is part of my plan to continue what I am doing.

Almost 50% of these people are social or models. (Note: I try not to associate with them whenever I can. You see, we have different beliefs; we just go to the same parties together and know the same person that?s all.)

Of course, if not, where do you think the money for partying and buying the latest branded goods come from? Not everyone has a rich Dad or Mum, even if so, not everyone let his or her spend money like water. Some of them are so rich but they have to do what they are doing because their parents do not give them enough for their indulgences and ?portrayed? lifestyle.

If not, they find rich boyfriends. Let?s see. Some are genuine rich boyfriends, young, handsome, cute, solid background and good education. (Oooh? Even I like.) But rare. Some are rich but as old as my Dad?s age, like in their 40?s or 50?s. The oldest I have heard was a 19 years old girl dating a 62 years old businessman or ah gong. Okay, as long as she like and I do not think it will last long. Come on, it?s all good. Whatever. (Maybe it?s just chilling and no sex? I shall stop imagining. Shiver at the thought of, if there is.)

Now, you know where their money to dress pretty and usually sexily come from, let?s go into the partying part.

It is all about ?To be seen? and nothing else. They may not even enjoy it but who cares, just laugh and people will not think that you are some boring uncool girl. Well, not at any trash but reputable, cool and ?in-ness? clubs. No ktv pubs I mind you. That?s why I cannot let them know that I actually go to those places with my executive girls. Haha?

?To be seen? is very important. Who knows, you might get to know the next big ?Who?s who?? Or a celebrity in town? Daniel Wu, Jackie Chan?s , etc. Local celebrity? Hmmm? Let?s just say that it is no big deal okay? Fiona Xie is definitely the party-animal among them. Anyway, the most important ones are the big bosses and their sons. If you do not have any talents or brain but thank God, you have a somewhat deems by most people a pretty face, a sexy body, okay, no problem.

The big boys loved to be seen with gorgeous chicks. Who doesn?t? The gorgeous chicks love their money. Sport cars, town addresses, social status, fine dine (not wine and dine), first-class holidays, five-stars hotels, infinite credit limits and shopping sprees.

All they need to do is to stay pretty forever (for as long as they can, then when almost time?s up, find the best they can and get married, do not think too long), laugh at all the right time (and even the lamest jokes), be super sporting (like camwhoring when bad mood), say stupid things never mind (as long as it is not about their guy), etc.

Fine. I admit that I play along at times but it?s all for good fun. However, when it comes to ?my boyfriend?, I am extremely particular. The least have to be a degree holder. I do not despites or look down on people with qualification lesser than that but I need to be able to communicate at the same level with my boyfriend. Good family background. Honestly, if not, how to match me? Haha? I am stating the fact. Do not need to be super doper rich but if we cannot enjoy the same quality of life or the same upbringing, can. There are a lot of things to change if he is not and I live all my life this way, I do not want to change. Facts.

After saying so much, I am no different from them. Just that I am prouder, I prefer men who made it themselves and not relaying on their old man at home. I feel that being able to say, ?My boyfriend is blah blah blah.? People recognize him for what he has done is better than, ?My boyfriend bought me a $60k watch.? I am so proud I want to hold and pay for my own wedding because my boyfriend and I can afford it and not because our parents are sponsoring. I am so proud I do not want just a wedding, I want the best of the best and not some cheaper version of it. Why?

I am prouder than them.
3 Comments
Office & Sex 2
Posted:Nov 26, 2008 11:51 pm
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2009 12:58 pm
12156 Views

It has been some time since I update you guys on my office situation. Anyway, "he" is sitting opposite me right now. I love my corner sit because no one is behind me and I can see everyone.

However, when people come over and talk to me, I am being cornered! No way to end the conversation politely and walk away.

I know I am long-winded when it comes to writing but I do not talk that much in real life. Haha... Especially in the office and at family functions. Why? The more you talk, the higher the chances of saying the wrong thing and the higher the chances of inviting office politics and family politics.

Anyway, what I want to say is that... "he" broke up with his long time gf yesterday. His mobile could not stop ringing and I finally met his gf at our office lobby during lunch just now. Damn. It was very stupid.

I have no idea how I can be such a "trouble-invitor" (no such word)! I went lunch with him, so we took the same lift. In the lift, something funny happened to somebody else and we were holding back our laughter until when we were out of the lift.

So, as we were laughing so crazily and did not notice our surrounding, this "gf" came over and ask "him", "What's so funny?"

"She" looked at me and ask "him", "This must be the reason. She is the girl in the photo."

Quietly and confused, I was thinking, "What the hell? Who is she?"

Then, "he" said, "Eh, sorry I think I cannot go lunch with you. Enjoy yourself."

Okay, it is so bloody weird. Then I realized that "she" must be the "gf"! Why I so slow, I do not know.

~

After lunch.

"He" said, "Sorry about just now. That was my gf and we just broke up. She kept thinking that I have someone else and also you are new in our department and she never see you at last year's DnD, so she thought it is you."

Wow. So honest.

I just laugh and say, "No worries. I hope all is good."

Disappeared and keep to myself until now.

~

What the f*ck. So embarrassing. How did I get into this kind of situation. Some more "gf" come office. Hope no one saw. Until now nobody ask. Thank God. Pray hard for me. I hate gossips. Damn.

*ps: Nothing "extraordinary" happened between us.
3 Comments
To: Local Sexy Swingers members #2
Posted:Nov 23, 2008 7:08 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2008 3:46 am
12154 Views

~

Why I do not exchange mobile number or messenger address with Local Sexy Swingers members that I do not really know or etc., is because…

(1) When I open my messenger, it is flooded and I cannot be bothered to open it anymore. My lousier laptop hang on me once and after 15 minutes, I realized that it is actually “Not responding” because of my “Off-line messages”.
(2) The Inbox is worse; I just click “Select All” and “Delete Trash Forever”. Thank you for the constant mails and messages but I am abandoning my hot-mail. As for my ya-hoo, it is not that bad “yet”.
(3) I had to change my mobile once because there is one guy who kept calling me, even in the middle of the night. I know there are a lot of “non-stalkers” out there but this is putting me off. I just have to keep filtering and give my numbers to only people I feel “should be okay”. How? “Intuition” or my mood! Sorry.
(4) My Local Sexy Swingers Inbox. For now, there are only a few people that I mail more constantly. I feel so sorry that sometimes I stop mailing. The reasons are because:
• You ask for my mobile number before I felt comfortable giving.
• You are overly eager and I felt “goose bumps” all over while reading your messages.
• You sent me more than 2 mails with the same messages.
• I realized that I am not really interested.
• I am so busy I read but forgot to reply.
• I missed your mail in my Inbox.
• I did not even check my Inbox.

Sounds like just excuses?

All these are true. If you do not believe, you can ask some of the other girls why they stop replying. Some of you really give me the creep! What kind of mails are the worst?

(1) I live at No. XXX ABC Road. Okay, so?
(2) I can give you $XXX for sex/blowjob/handjob. Thank you very much but I am not a . I am here to enjoy like you and money do not give me pleasure.
(3) SM/Group sex. ‒ Firstly, my profile did not say that I am interested in all these activities. Secondly, I do not know you yet.
(4) Penis pictures. Okay, I admit that there are gorgeous ones. Visual pleasure but I think you should send me your “Intro” message first. If you can send me a personalized one, I will notice and I might reply if you fit into my preference category.
(5) Other languages. Sorry but I only can read English and Chinese.
(6) Copied and pasted mails. Haha… Like advertisement! How I know? I received the exact same mail from the same person so many times! I think they did not even know that I noticed. This shows that I actually tried reading their mails and giving them another chance but they blew it by sending me the same advertisement!!!

Don’t laugh. These are all facts. Mails that make sense are like:
(1) Hi, I read your blog and …
(2) Hi, I would like to get to know you better. After reading your profile, I think we are looking for the same things here…
(3) Hello, My name is XXX.

These make absolute sense to me. Making friends before proceeding further. I do not know about other girls but I need to know my “sex partner” before I can “do it”. So, I would like to say sorry to some people. As for others, I will reply when I can.

*p/s: To those who insist on continue sending me “advertisement”, I hope you can find what you want from other girls. Marketing and sales people, this is a friend-making environment. Stop scaring people away with your “sales talk”. At least for me, “size do not matter”. If I want to know, I will ask.

Thank you for taking time to read this. I hope you find this useful. Those who do not agree, please tell me about your experiences and why.
5 Comments
Girls #1
Posted:Nov 12, 2008 7:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2008 5:04 pm
12250 Views

After telling you guys so much about the men in and passing by my life, I thought it is about time I tell you about some interesting girl friends stories.

I have quite a few clicks of girl friends. At different groups, I have to behave differently.

One group is my half Catholic girls (half the group consist of Catholic girls, not me) and we are always doing all the normal things like shopping, dinner and coffee.

Another group is the Tai-tai group. Do not be mistaken, none of us are married. It is just that we always meet-up to go spa, manicure, pedicure, high-tea, shopping and organize house parties for gossiping. Of course, at the expense of our boyfriends. 99% of the girls in this group carry at least one supplementary card from ?boyfriend?. The other one just broke up.

My Clubbing girls. We only meet at night for activities. All of us are members at the big clubs and we almost do not pay for entry and drinks. Most of the clubs love us. We call as many people we know and get them to spend big bucks. The rest of the story, private and confidential. Sorry. (*No orgy. Haha?)

The chill-out ones. Ktv, pool, billiard, movies and pubs. These are normal working executives, holding respectable positions at work. People whom actually work in the day and distress at night. We do not meet in the day as everyone is working. We do not meet on weekends as most of them are having family day or boyfriend?s day. We only meet at night to complain about life and work, of course.

Last but not least, my partner-in-crime. We do everything together. She knows most of my clicks but however, due to her unpredictable work schedule, it is usually just the two of us, meeting at in ?saint? hours, doing mischief.

.

Today, I shall tell you about my partner-in-crime, J. When we meet-up in the day, we go sun tanning, picnic, brunch, shopping, swimming or squash. Our favorite hideouts are Sentosa, The White House, Mimolette, Raffles Marine, Prives, private clubs and etc. We do not like crowds but yet we meet some of the nicest people at these places.

Tips! If you want to look for the boss, go in the day, at least they are sober then. If you are looking for boyfriend, go in the day, those who can party and wake up early enough for brunch have the best habits. If you are looking for contacts, go in the day. At least your contacts will remember you as you are and not the crazy girl last night.

Why do I say that? We are always on the invite list of respectable establishments because we met their bosses in the day. They are usually friendly and have the time to chat with you when the place is not crowded. When you meet them at clubs, you already know them.

I met my boyfriend at one such establishment at brunch after tennis. He came over to say hi because I dropped my towel. Well, brunch was charged to his account and the rest is history.

In sales, you have to know as many people as you can. Some of my most valuable to date are met at these places. From ?join us for tennis? to business contacts. My colleagues are always asking but when I tell them, they do not believe that making friends can be so easy.

At night, we do a lot of gastro/bistro sessions, live band places and etc. Same goes, we made lots of friends and contacts. The truth is, we always try to pay because we do not want to be seen as not being independent. Fact is, we only managed to pay about 50% of the time no matter how hard we try.

Of course, I am not going to say that J and I are so lucky. We have met unruly and rowdy people too. Some people just cannot control their drinking and ended up behaving badly. We have been requested to do threesome and group sex before. Strangers who think that friendly girls are friendly all the way have groped us. Usually the Ang Mos are like that. No matter how rowdy most Singaporean men are, they are not as daring to this extend and they do not act drunk most of the time.

Wait. Hang on. We are not SPG. We prefer Asian men. We speak English but we do not slang. Maybe Singlish too but definitely no slang. We do not act like we do not understand Mandarin. We can speak, write and read Chinese and we are proud of being Asians.

We dressed respectably. No revealing of under garments at any point of time. No over exposing of cleavages. Elegantly dressed is key. Sexily is subtle or a bonus.

So why partner-in-crime? What mischief have we been up to?

Sometimes when we meet shy Singaporeans, we smile at them, they smile back. We continue whatever we are doing but they still keep looking. They will never approach us because they are too shy to make friends.

Or the? we go over and talk to them, ask them embarrassing or out of the norm questions. They are still shy and continue to act innocent. Warming up too slow but eventually, when they speak up, we hear the most unbelievable stories but we belief them and we act like we are two unworldly stupid bimbos. After that, we just laugh by ourselves at their lamest. Oops.

Our favorite is to pretend that we are still studying. Then, the guys will try and impress us and you know the rest. ROFL.

Craft us, we are naughty girls!
3 Comments
Local Sexy Swingers Session: #2
Posted:Nov 10, 2008 7:42 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 10:16 pm
12210 Views

I have promised to tell the other stories about my meet ups with Local Sexy Swingers members. But due to time lapse, my memory of whom I meet up with first were kind of jumbled up. So, I will just pick one to tell you today.

My job sometimes gives me a lot of freedom and during quieter months or when I have finished my stuff, I can do whatever I want. I knew C from Local Sexy Swingers at such a time and conveniently, his job in a local bank requires him to meet often too.

C, I would say is a high society “wannabe”. He always suggests meeting for drinks at hotel lounges or hotel high teas (company pay) but he could never differentiate between a Merlot and a Chardonnay or Earl Grey from English Breakfast. Of course, being a really nice person, I pretend nothing happened.

After three drinking (two alcoholics and one non-alcoholic) sessions, we proceeded from lounges and café to private room.

Five stars no less but his complain about the dollars kind of put me off. I did not say I need a really nice place, of course I do appreciate the effort but complaining to me? I just turn the other way, rolled my eyes and bite my tongue.

As I was a little displease, it took me a longer than usual time to warm up. He was feeling it and kept asking me if something was wrong. I said no and continue whatever that we were doing, which was obviously not foreplay. I tried but we were at different “stage” of getting “high”.

Halfway through, he must be really enjoying himself because I wasn’t and he not notice anymore. I just lay down there looking/staring at him doing whatever that he was doing on top of me and I felt like I wasn’t there and that I am actually watching a 3D porn video and they are showing the guy working really hard.

Now I know how prostitutes must have felt when the guys they do with are selfish and really lousy. Well, at least they are being paid to go through those sessions. I was just there wasting my time and having some really lousy sex. No wonder his wife is not interested anymore after her first born.

Thank god he came in quickie time and not those “I can hump for a long long time” time. If not, I might have to push him off me and say, “Sorry but I am in a hurry, I got to go.”

No wondering needed, we did not meet after that. I stop replying his smses and I think he got the hint. I wish I can help him but I am here to enjoy myself, not teach sex lessons. Lastly, I hope he do not read this. No matter how unpleasant it is, I do not want to hurt his feelings. I wish his sex life all the best.
4 Comments
I Hate Him!
Posted:Nov 10, 2008 6:58 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 10:14 pm
12241 Views

I think I hate him because he made me love him so much.
5 Comments
Lost In Transition
Posted:Oct 10, 2008 11:06 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2008 10:12 pm
12027 Views

"Oops!... I did it again!"

Well, despite my last post and previous many posts, I met up with M again.

Temptation.

See, M is like the opposite pole of a magnet that I am often (always) attracted to and I do not exactly know why. Perhaps, that is what happens when you love/lust someone too much.

The difference this time is... I made him wait for me, unintentionally intentionally. If you know what I mean. The reason is because I was not sure if I should go, then it was a thunderstorm night but I still go and queue at the longest Orchard taxi stand queue so I had time to think. I was late for 2 hours.

I know that he got to rush off to pick up his wife (he mentioned earlier), but I was late and he waited for me. (Please note that this is not a "planned sex" meeting up.) I told him over the phone that I will be very late and that he should go but he did not.

So, he insisted that I "...come, no matter how late..." I will be. Slowly, I make my way there. I really mean slow. If it was the same me last time, I would have called for a cab. I told him that all the cab lines were engaged and I could not call through.

In the end, I got there in one piece. He was just sitting there and he looked really happy to see me. I said, "Sorry I'm late. You sure you don't need to go soon? It's almost 12mn." I cannot remember exactly what he said but it was one of those sweet-talk about how it does not matter and that he got time.

We chatted, the cafe closed. We wanted to find somewhere else to go but it was raining heavily. I casually said that we should go to a hotel. I was expecting him to say that he need to go but he did not. It was already almost 2am. His mobile did beeped a couple of times but he only (if i am not wrong) left 1 sms.

We went to a hotel, did the imaginable. Then, he hugged me in bed and he gave me the feeling that he did not want to go home. I did not ask and I soon fell asleep, tired. By the time I woke up, it was already 5am and he was still hugging me, sleeping like a baby.

If only we can do this everyday.

I woke him up and told him the time but he just hugged me tighter and told me to sleep. We slept till 8am, then he called for room service breakfast-in-bed. Neither of us eat much as we did the imaginable again.

By 11am, I really had to go, even though the married party did not want to leave. So, he sent me home. Where he went after that or what happened, I do not know. Maybe he had a good excuse for staying out the whole night I do not know too. However, I did noticed that his mobile was switched off when we reached the room earlier on.

-Hmmmm...-

It is getting sticky, don't you think so? The reason I stayed out late with him is to let him know how inconvenient it is but I am not sure if he gets it.

Lost in transition.
4 Comments
The Truth Is... I Am A Fool.
Posted:Sep 18, 2008 11:58 pm
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2008 6:49 pm
12519 Views

Not in a good mood today.

The truth is... I think my bf is extremely charming. The truth is... I know he do not chase girls and girls chase after him. The truth is... He is such a gentleman, such a good catch. The truth is... I do not know why I am playing with fire. The truth is... I am afraid of losing him.

I am not sure if I mentioned this before but I once heard a saying that... There are 3 kinds of relationship:

1. He loves you more.
2. You love him more.
3. Both of you love each other madly.

Most people do not get #3. I am between #1 and #2. I am not sure. Perhaps, I am in #3 and I have absolutely no idea.

Why?

I want him to love me more. Of course. But I feel that I love him more and I am afraid. If one day I realize that that is the truth, I might go crazy. So, I do crazy things. Then, maybe we are heads over heels with one another but because I am afraid, I stray.

I am a fool.

Please ignore me.
3 Comments
Office & Sex
Posted:Sep 2, 2008 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Sep 18, 2008 11:27 pm
10129 Views

I changed department at work. At first I was quite sad, as I will not be able to hang out as often as I like with all my dear colleagues. It was like going to a new school with no friends again. So, I tried to make friends.

There are eight people in my new department (including me). Two are girls and the rest are guys. As our job scopes leans towards the sale side, I needed to learn the ropes and build my customer base from literally zero. So, my direct boss got me into a “buddy” system.

As the other girl only joined the department one month earlier than me, my assigned “buddy” is one of the guys. Let’s just call him, D.

D is the assistant manager and he has only been in the department for six month. He is really good at his job and got promoted very quickly. Most of the other guys did not like him much as they have been with the department longer and are still stuck at a lower position.

Naturally, as a newbie, they bad-mouthed him to me. The first week was filled with gossips. After tagging around with him for three weeks, I find that he is rather a nice person. He was nothing like how the others described.

At work, D is really serious and fun at the same time. As our job requires us to be running around Singapore to meet , we spent a lot of time together.

We both knew each other’s relationship statue is “not available”. So, it was really funny if you see us together, as we seem close but at the same time keeping a distance. By the end of the fourth week, he said, “I really like you.”

Being a shy girl (trust me), I just turned to him and smile and got back to my work. After that incident, he always creates opportunity to touch me, accidentally. I continued to act blur and he continued trying to hint me.

He stayed pretty near my place and despite his offer to pick me up or drop me at my place, I always say no. In the end, I do not know how he found out what time I leave home because he started me picking me up from bus stop or my walk to the bus stop. He said, “Your place is on the way and anyway we are going to the same place, isn’t it?”

Well, this is hard to say no to. From just picking me up, now he started buying me breakfast and sometimes, before I even reached the bus stop, his car is already parked there.

My trusting boyfriend said, “He obvious like you.” I said, “I obvious do not care.”

Not long after this conversation, D started telling me about his relationship. From what he said, it seems as though he is not happy and would like to end it. He tried making me talk about my relationship but I did not say much.

Finally, our “buddy” system ended. I am now working on my own. I tried avoiding him when I can.

Till last Friday, our department went out to celebrate our boss’ birthday at a KTV pub. I love drinking. Everybody drank a lot that day and I think D too. He started coming over became very touchy. Drinking makes me horny and I must have left my brain at home. If not, I would not have drink so much with people I worked with.

All of them can drive except for me, so when it was time to leave, they asked D to make sure that I got home safely. The ride back was so awkward. My face was red from drinking too much and I was tired. I did not know when I close my eyes but when I woke up, his car was parked outside my house and he was staring at me.

Your horny girl here must be crazy. I said, “I cannot go home looking like a drunkard. Do you have time to keep me company till my face isn’t so red anymore?” So, we went to a nearby park’s car park and listen to the radio. Then, we started singing to the music and just like in the movies, things got out of hand and we kissed.

*

Monday, I had a couple of appointments so it was easy to avoid him. Yesterday was bad as we have internal meetings and maybe perhaps, he was my “buddy”, we always sit together. During the meeting, he said that he has a big account and need me to help. So, now our work cross path again.

I am trying so hard to keep a distance as I want to have sex with him so badly but I do not like him the way he likes me. Of course, with string attached is a big no-no. Damn. Haha… What should I do?
3 Comments

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