did we make a huge mistake?
|
Posted:Feb 2, 2011 3:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 2:6 pm
5694 Views
|
K guys, i have written about this guy before. Now it's just more intense. i need some advice! lol
Alright, so i have this best friend L. We have known each other for almost a year, but it really feels like we have known each other for years and years! We have become really close over the last year and are the best of friends. Me and him have this deep bond, this connection with each other that i can not explain. He knows what i am thinking all the time, he knows how i feel by looking at me, he can read my mind, we finish each others sentences, i know what hes thinking too. I understand him and he understands me.
Ok, so here's the thing. Since day one, L and I have always liked each other more than friends, but we decided not to date each other since he fears losing me as his best friend. Basically, he waited too long to ask me out. We came to that conclusion the other day. But anyway, He's got this fear of getting screwed over and getting hurt like his exes have done to him. He doesn’t want a girlfriend right now, which is totally fine because he's only 21 (im 22) And hes gotta play the field and decide what he really wants!
Ok, so over time, I think feelings have slowly gotten stronger. He has always flirted with me and over time it got more intense. It started with little innocent flirting and until about a week ago it was like we are boyfriend girlfriend almost. We act just like it. There was so much sexual tension between us you could cut it with a knife. But, thing is we never kissed! In a whole year He had never even kissed me until recently. Ill get into that in a min though.
We had a really long talk with each other last Thursday. (jan 27th) about "us" There is no “us” but you know what i mean. In a nutshell he told me that he is so attracted to me, and that i was beautiful and i was just his type and that he thinks about dating me all the time. He said he's had feelings for me since we met back in April 2010. I have as well. He knows that. His main thing is losing me. He says friendships last longer than relationships most of the time. I know him very well and i know he's telling me the truth. I think it stems back from his parents divorce when he was little, he's still ****** up emotionally from it. So that Thursday night, he finally kissed me. Afterward, he told me how he's been wanting to do that for a year and how good it felt to finally do it. It did! It felt great!
So, also in our little talk we discussed sex. Basically, he propositioned me for sex. And we talked about it for a long time. We talked about the positives and negatives, how it might affect us etc. He's also afraid that I am going to think he's using me for sex. He's very worried about that. I know he wouldn't do that. If he was going to, he would have tried long ago and would have stopped talking to me when I didn’t give it up. He's never even attempted to get in my pants previously.
So, yes, the sex is great, we have excellent sexual chemistry and we like the same things. So, We have been having sex every day for the past week. And now things have become even more intense! I would say that we ARE boyfriend and girlfriend just without the title. To us, we are still best friends. That's our title.
Things seem like they changed a lot, when we hang out, he'll greet me with a hug and a kiss, he tells me how he missed me since the day before, we are up each others asses all the time, he holds my hand, He'll lean over and give me a kiss on the forehead or on the cheek and tell me im beautiful, he'll rub my back, we text and talk on the phone more now, we make out A LOT, we cuddle, hold hands He even called me “baby” yesterday which he's never done before.
He tells me he loves me. But after he says it each time he says “not like that though” But then the other day he said “i don’t love you like that but I think I might somewhat” something like that. Now he's saying “oh...well, we COULD date and see what happens” and “id be dating you now if I wanted a girlfriend” and stuff like that, like he's real close to making a commitment. Im not counting on it though, not at all.
The funny thing is his mom, my mom, our friends, his friends and even 2 of his exes keep asking if we are dating. Like EVERYONE knows it should be that way, it's just him being scared to get hurt. So my question is....did we make a huge mistake having sex even though we are not in a relationship? I mean, he told me if he feels we are getting too attached to each other, he's going to cut the sex off. I dont know, everyone keeps telling me someone's going to get hurt and I know it's going to happen eventually. I need some guidance or something I dont want to cut it off because I enjoy him. But I dont want either one of us getting hurt.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
procrastinating
|
Posted:Nov 6, 2010 1:52 am
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2010 4:23 pm
5478 Views
|
I needed something to do while i procrastinate so im gonna make a list of things i am currently procrastinating on...
1)Study for Bio test Monday
2)Study for Bio Quiz Saturday
3)Re-write paper for survey of art
4)Write a friend letters that I am behind on
5)Catch up on my reading in my book
6)Watch the movies i have been wanting to watch
7)clean my room up
you know it's sad when you procrastinate on doing leisurely things...now i gotta find something else to to while i dont do my homework. Thank god i am getting my ADD meds refilled tomorrow...jeeze i <3 ADD sometimes. thanks for reading.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
best night of my life!!!
|
Posted:Oct 31, 2010 2:53 am
Last Updated:Nov 2, 2010 2:47 pm
5770 Views
|
The ICP concert was amazing. Fuckin boondox,AMB (axe murder boys), ABK and Dayton Family were there too. They all put on a great show. We got there around 6pm...doors opened at 7. But the line was like 5 blocks long at the halfway point lol. We didnt even get in till like 7:30. We were entertained the whole time though. Met some cool ass ninjas. lol I love my fam. whoop whoop!
So...  As you know..me and Aaron went to Columbus together. We had so much fucking fun! Nice conversation on the way and hot fuckin when we got to the hotel lol. Man, he knows what he is doin. haha. I love it. Finally found someone who isn't scared to get rough with me. During the concert he wrapped his hand around my throat with some pressure and pulled back so i was looking up at the ceiling and he started biting and sucking on my ears and the side of my neck. OMG. i almost busted a nut right there lol. i swear.
So, i guess we are dating now. We were driving home after stopping in Lodi to get something to eat. I was telling him how my brothers girlfriend's name was Erin. And he was like "Oh, so you're dating an Aaron, and he's dating an Erin..." So were dating but i dunno if he meant just dating, or boyfriend girlfriend. I dont care, regardless it's heading in the right direction and im happy!
Here is a pic of the line, Aaron and I were at the halfway point when i took this and u can see how far up it goes. Plus the po po's were houndin everyone....
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
SERIOUSLY? ARE ALL MY TEACHERS THAT IDIOTIC?
|
Posted:Oct 28, 2010 4:28 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 2:6 pm
5346 Views
|
OH MY FUCKING GOD. WHY ARE ALL MY TEACHERS AT MY SCHOOL SERIOUSLY IDIOTS?? so again....i go to check my grade online for my medical terminology class and my grade is now an 83%!!!! so in the matter of a week it went from an 93% (It's supposed to be 94% but she fucked it up) to an 83%! Omg!! This is the FOURTH time she fucked my grade up. Apparently, i didn't turn in 2 homework assignments for chapter 5 and 6. So there is 100 points right there that i am "missing".... i turned those in!!! I am anal about getting homework in. I KNOW I TURNED THEM IN!! This is ridiculous! I don't have the homework in my possesion either. We usually get our homework back at the end of class and she never gave them back to me. Omg i cant believe this... im about to have a major breakdown because I'm having issues with all my teachers. I think im going to transfer schools
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
FUCK THIS pt 2
|
Posted:Oct 27, 2010 1:54 pm
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2010 7:21 pm
5426 Views
|
so i guess a lot of other people did the same thing as me on those stupid papers. It's really not fair...i got everyone else agreeing with me so i dont care what y'all think. The syllabus said "pick an artists or an architect" that's all it said. My teacher is an idiot who doesn't know what class she is in half the time. whatever. She said i could turn it in and she would grade it, but she would take points off...or i could re do it for monday....im gonna try and re do it.
Aaron is coming with me to ICP concert! It's gonna be so much fun. Im taking him to his first concert. Were gonna get a hotel room in columbus so we dont gotta drive back we got over a month of shit to "catch up" on! lol  soooo excited!!!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
FUCK THIS
|
Posted:Oct 26, 2010 4:22 pm
Last Updated:Oct 28, 2010 4:20 pm
5539 Views
|
I AM SO MAD AT MY TEACHER!!!!!!!! First of all...she made our 8 page paper due 2 days after mid terms were over....i spent all weekend doing my stupid paper on Andy Warhol and sent it to her Sunday night. I was so happy it was done and then she emails me today and was like "Oh, you cant do a paper on Andy Warhol because we didn't talk about him in class...we talk about him in survey of art II..." WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!! hell no. fuck that. she never said we had to write about someone we talked about in class.and it was NOT in the syllabus. If she tells me to re do it im gonna be mad. there is NO WAY i am re doing it!!!! My mom is pissed to because she took time to edit it for me and read it over. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
would you guys consider this "mean?"
|
Posted:Oct 20, 2010 3:38 am
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2010 3:53 pm
5787 Views
|
Alright so when i go to concerts, i go all out. i want to be in the front row the whole time surrounded by all the chaos (the concerts i go to are usually standing room only so it's easy to get to front) and i even enjoy the occasional mosh pit. To me, it's part of the whole concert experience and i love it!!! So as you know (if you read my blog regularly)Twiztid is coming to Cleveland (FINALLY!) on new years eve and i already bought my ticket. I have been waiting SO long to see them but the thing is...my friend wants to go, she only knows one song and isn't really into them. I know her very well and i KNOW she would hate the large crowd and constant pushing that will take place. I warned her that i will not, for any reason, leave the front row. If she comes with me and she hates it, i will NOT leave the front with her. Obviously if she was hurt or dying then yes i would but you know what i mean...she seems unsure. i just feel like a bitch saying all that to her. But i have a feeling she will really hate it i know how rough crowds can get at concerts and shes just gonna hate it lol...I feel like it's fair because I am warning her in advance...what do i do about this? am i being mean?
Oh and Aaron is home!!!! He called me at about 4am and left me a voice mail saying he was home and i was the first person he told yay! i cant wait to see him! It's been a freaking month!!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
I think my teacher is out to get me....
|
Posted:Oct 19, 2010 11:17 pm
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2010 1:58 pm
5706 Views
|
ok so my medical terminology class...I'm currently getting an A and i would love to keep it that way. This may seem petty but i really think my teacher keeps changing my grade for no reason!
See, we use "blackboard" where we can check our grades and details about how many points we got on the assignments and tests. I checked it one day and had a 94.9% i said ok and went on with my life.
Checked it a few days later and i had a 93.9%.. But nothing was changed. Looked at all my homework and tests and realized she had one of my homework grades in wrong so i emailed her and she fixed it...i was back at a 94%
I checked it again a week later maybe and it was at 93% again...i checked all my homework and realized she put one of my tests in as 40/45 even though i got a 40/40. So she fixed that and it brought me back up to a 94%
So i check it tonight...and Im at a 93% again. I checked all my homework, and everything is entered correctly. There are no new homework or test are on there. It's a once a week class so it's not like i am turning stuff in constantly...
But one thing i noticed is that points aren't adding up. The "points possible" points don't add up correctly and neither do my "points earned" according to my math i should be at a 94.9% not a 93.9% What the fuck does this keep happening for?
I feel like I am pissing her off by bugging her about my petty issue. But i want my 94% if i earned it!!! ya know? How can i approach her about this? Im sick of emailing her! ugh...Maybe someone can check my math and make sure im supposed to be at a 94% an Im not trippin. here is a screen shot of all my points. Points earned is 524 and total points is 558. Im supposed to have 530 points instead of 524 but dont know where I am missing points!!! lol wtf!!! if i keep buggin her shes gonna keep fucking up my grade!!!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
blood, piss and shit showers :)
|
Posted:Oct 13, 2010 10:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2010 3:28 pm
6407 Views
|
Ha! Fake blood, piss and shit of course. I just got back from seeing GWAR in Cleveland. It was fucking AMAZING! Front row too. Fucking loved it! They Killed Lady Gaga and Sarah Palin. good shit! Here is a pic of my clothes afterward. The 2 shirts were brand new and white For those of you who dont know, they shoot fake blood, piss, cum and shit into the audience during their shows. i love it! now thats a fucking concert! Now i have ICP to look forward to in 2 weeks! whoop whoop.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
ok it's gotta stop...it's really creepy guys.
|
Posted:Oct 13, 2010 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 19, 2010 10:23 pm
5548 Views
|
So i have decided to remove all pictures/videos that have my face in them off of here. I cant even tell you how many people went and somehow found me on FB. THAT'S CREEPY! I'M SORRY! I DONT LIKE THAT! Plus, now i have 1 or 2 people that i went to school with emailing me on FB also saying they saw me on there and they're tryin to make something happen. Hell no. Thankfully, i was never really friends with them. But we have mutual friends and i would enjoy it if they didnt know!
I can move my Face pics into an album just for my friends but that's it. If you aren't able to see my album, ask me and if i like you i can send you some pics. I don't know what i would do if this got around to my brother or mom. My bro and i have mutual friends too since we are only 2 years apart. So yeah! Bye Bye pics. I really didnt want to meet anyone else anyways, im here more for the blogging now. deuces!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
update
|
Posted:Sep 12, 2010 2:46 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2010 10:35 pm
6201 Views
|
So, school is good so far. I love my medical terminology class! I am learning so much and it's interesting! I can tell I'm going to do really well in that class. As for Biology....that's a different story. it's just the chem. part that is killing me!
Work is ok too. Taste of Cleveland really sucked. I worked like 33 hours in 3 days. one 12 hr shift, one 13 hour shift and an 8 hour shift. on my feet all damn day. I wanted to punch someone at the end of the day. Not to mention unloading and loading a freaking U-haul truck at the end of a 12 hour shift the last day with leaky sauerkraut containers. ugh, barf.
I have decided to get my nipples pierced
I don't want to Jinx anything, but this Aaron thing is looking positive Yesterday while we were hanging out with our mutual friend mike, Aaron told him that we have been "exclusive" with each other. I'm not sure what he meant by that or how he meant to say it so we shall see. we are gonna have our nipples pierced. this is exciting...aarons nipple rings+ my nipple rings + sex = awesome...
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
this is where i get my kinky side from...
|
Posted:Sep 10, 2010 1:10 pm
Last Updated:Oct 31, 2010 2:31 pm
6589 Views
|
i love this! My friend writes me all kinds of kinky letters and stories. I was never the kinky type before but he turned me onto all of this! I figured i would share something he wrote to me recently. Can someone do this for me? lol...i would love to try stuff like this...
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rm_rachel341) use [blog rm_rachel341] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
1
|
21
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He was only supposed to be gone for a week or two. But it's been like 3 or more weeks. ugh! He says he misses me though. I miss him too damn! lol I need some dick asap and if he don't come home soon i don't know what I'm going to do. I been trying to concentrate on just one guy at a time. Been doing a great job so far but it's hard when he's out of the damn state!! 
